The Transboundary Peregrination
by QBMaja
Summary: All Amy and Sheldon wanted were a few days full of scientific fun, romance and at least one date night kiss, when they left Pasadena for a nice getaway. What they get instead, is an adventurous night in the dark forest...
1. Even The Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note: **Hello everyone! For the last few months I have been writing this story, and I wasn't sure if I should post it. I'm pretty nervous, if my idea to show both perspectives will really work or only in my head ;) But I'm also curious to find out. So here it is :)

This story will be told in first person from both Amy's and Sheldon's side. So every chapter will be devided into two parts. I already finished writing it and I hope I'll be able to update regularly. But I need time revising, and also maybe rewriting some parts, where I'm not so sure if they're really working (like that big "love declaration"-scene I wrote, which became astonishingly OOC after the last amazing episode).

I hope you'll enjoy it! And any sign that you like my story make me very happy. Otherwise, I really have no idea, if this is any good, or if I should stop writing immediately. Thank you!

P.S.: English is not my native language. I have no beta reader, and even though I'm obsessively rereading and checking, I'm sure there are still a lot of mistakes. Sorry!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady, WB etc. own everything.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 - Even The Best Laid Plans...<br>**

**Amy**

I can't help but wondering, what I could've done to deserve this. All I wanted was a nice vacation. A few days off, away from home, away from the daily routine, and most importantly, a few days of quality time with Sheldon. That _cannot_ be _too _much to ask for, can it? Apparently though, it _really_ is...

When Sheldon asked me three weeks ago, if I would like to accompany him to a physics lecture at Stanford University, I agreed instantaneous. Four full days with Sheldon! Alone! No way, I would've ever said "no" to that. The plan was to go to the lecture but also to spend some time in San Francisco afterwards. Well, to be honest, Sheldon just wanted to visit Stanford and drive back home right away, but I insisted on extending the stay. And after some negotiations we agreed to make this a romantic getaway. I didn't use the word "R"-word though. No need to "ruin the mood", as he would say. However, Sheldon naturally had everything meticulously scheduled. The routes we would take, the times and durations of the breaks, and even the hotel reservations. We had a perfect program arranged! And when we left this morning, I was sure, that this is going to be the best trip of my life!

Since Sheldon doesn't like riding trains the way he used to, we took my car. His reduced interest in them makes me glad, I have to admit. Obviously because trains are pretty boring, but also because it might keep him from spontaneously jumping on one again and disappear for an undetermined time. Although, I don't need to worry about that anyway. After he came back last summer, we had some candid conversations, and in the end we agreed that from now on, we should _really_ talk about whatever it is that's upsetting either one of us. I used to think that the success of our relationship is mainly based on our ability to communicate with each other about everything. However, while he was away, I had time to reflect on that. For hours. No, days basically. Weeks! And I had to acknowledge the fact, that Sheldon and I weren't that honest with each other about "everything". We talked about all that _didn't_ include our feelings, our wishes and hopes for the future, our desires and fears. These things only popped up once in a while and then mostly ended with one of us freaking out or being angry or sad. Okay, _he_ freaked out and _I _was angry and sad. My point is, that after four years I didn't know what he really felt for me, what he was thinking about our future (_if_ at all), and if he, deep down at least, desired me even a little. Although, I had a pretty good idea about what he feared: Basically _all_ of it. Anyhow, he wasn't particularly enthusiastic of the prospect to have to talk about our emotions on what he suspected would surely be a regular basis. Nevertheless, he understood that I was very, and I mean it, _very_ serious when I said, I wouldn't accept a stunt like this again. Running away and hiding God knows where on trains for over a month! What was he thinking?! On top of it all, he then had the nerves to call Leonard to pick him up instead of me, and that upset me even more. Admittedly, it was quite cute, when he confessed that he didn't want me to see him fail making it on his own. I didn't and how could I anyway? I was as surprised as anyone that he lasted 45 days without his schedule. This alone was indeed quite an achievement. And now, I really have to say, that in retrospect, this trip turned out to be his best idea _ever_.

It didn't take long for me to notice a change in Sheldon. Maybe not quite visible for others, but to me he seemed to be much more relaxed and open. In general, but also especially around me. First, I was pretty surprised that he didn't put up much of a fight when I insisted that he had to make up for all the missed dates. Even though it is stipulated in our agreement, it wouldn't have been the first time, that he would've tried to find a loophole to get out of this. But he didn't and he didn't even complain that much during, which he also did many times before until I gave up and released him from his boyfriend duty. Then _he_ suggested that we should take the relationship test, and he was equally pleased about our very impressive high score. He's happy with me, and now I even have it scientifically proven and in writing! Which is clearly the most veritable affirmation one can wish for. So all is good. No, all is super! I'm also no longer hoping that he would be more romantic and say things like Leonard did to Penny in the pub. No, I'm good. I am _perfectly_ happy. Of course, his love proclamation a few months ago has_ a lot_ to do with that. Sure, I had a tiny anxiety attack right afterwards. But who wouldn't?! I finally got my "Prom" (I looked phenomenal by the way. Prom Queen is all I'm saying. Even though, I still don't understand, why people say yellow wouldn't be my color. But the turquoise dress was nice too, I guess), with the most handsome boyfriend, who _loves_ me! And he finds me pretty too! Even so much so, that _he_ had a panic attack! I mean, honestly, _everyone_ would have freaked out! Anyhow, that's really all I ever needed to hear. In short: We're doing just great!

Back to the topic: We were taking the State Route 1, because Sheldon said, that he wants to cross the big bridges. He rolled his eyes when I agreed and mentioned, that it's also prettier with the ocean view, and that additionally this way takes longer and I would get to spend more time with my sweet baboo. He might love me, but he's still "not a fan" of anything overly "lovey dovey"... I am though, but I try not to overdo it... Mostly at least... Anyway, we planned to stay the first night in Monterey. The next day we would've arrived in Stanford, attended the lecture and afterwards driven to San Francisco. We would've had a nice date night dinner, and the second and third day were reserved for sightseeing and visiting the Exploratorium. In the late afternoon we would've begun with the return journey, stayed overnight in Carmel-by-the-Sea, and the following day we would've returned to Los Angeles. It was indeed the perfect plan, with days promised to be full of scientific fun, delicious dinners, romance, and at least one date night kiss!

All was good for seven fantastic hours. We played games and chitchatted about all sorts of things that were on our minds. Sheldon was in such a good and charming mood. It was simply a _delight_. Then we did cross the Bixby Creek and Rocky Creek Bridge and from then on everything went downhill. Sheldon was completely in his element, telling me all he knew about the history and architecture of these specific and bridges in general. How I love listening to him. And it's interesting too! Not that I didn't already know most of it, but I didn't care. I just enjoyed the neverending stream of words in his "Dr. Cooper explains the world"-tone. Which I so adore! It's so sexy, seductive even. _However, _he remembered that there are a whole lot of other smaller historic bridges in the Big Sur region, which he wanted to see _right away. _I told him that it would mess up our schedule, but he insisted that it wouldn't take long. And who am I to deny his wishes when he is always _so_ cute, when he gets excited about something? He's a force then no one with a heart can resist. So two hours ago we abandoned the designated route to find these idiotic bridges. Not long after, we even saw some signs that were apparently pointing in the right direction. Unfortunately it seems that we misread them, and now we're lost in the middle of nowhere, without having seen one bridge at all. But that's not the worst. What is though, is that because we left the highway too soon, we didn't stop at the gas station as intended, and now the car is out of fuel. And Sheldon is having a meltdown...

"Oh Lord! _Why_ are you punishing me? _Why_ do you want me to suffer? I am a good person! I don't deserve this! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Sheldon, please calm down."

"CALM DOWN!? WE ARE LOST! IN THE _WOODS_!"

"I can see that, but freaking out won't help us."

He throws a look at me, making clear that _obviously_ I don't understand the problem. He is so smart and yet he prefers running around the car, hyperventilating with his arms raised to the sky and shouting meaningless accusations to a deity he doesn't believe in, _instead_ of trying to find a solution to this unfortunate situation in a calm and logical way. He is such an emotional mess sometimes...

"Stop pacing around. Let's look at the situation rationally. It will be dark soon and I'm getting hungry."

"Oh God! It will be _dark_ soon! Who cares if _we _are hungry?! We will get eaten by bears or whatever monstrous creatures occupy this place as soon as the sun sets! _Why_ did you take me here?!"

Excuse me?!

"What?! You wanted to see these stupid bridges, not me!"

"You should've stopped me! It's your duty as my girlfriend!"

Aha! I must've missed the memo.

"Since when?"

"Uhm... Since now! But _now_ is _too_ late... Oh no, we're going to die... _I know it._"

Aaand here we go with the whining and blaming. Again, what have I done to deserve this? I am _unquestionably_ the most patient person on this planet, I am understanding, I am willing to compromise over and over again. But do I get a nice getaway with my boyfriend? Do I get an enjoyable trip to maybe, just _maybe_, deepen our emotional (... and _physical_ to be honest...) bond a _little_ more? No. I get an empty gas tank in the dark forest, a cell phone with a dead battery, and a bitchy Sheldon. Life just isn't fair...

"_No one _is going to die. And stop blaming me for being in a situation _you_ created. Please just check on your phone where exactly we are, and if we can walk to the next gas station or if we have to call the towing service."

He stops pacing around immediately and looks at me with eyes wide in astonishment, like I just solved String Theory or something. Cuuute!

"Of course, Amy! The phone!... Even though I really think you should have GPS in your car. Like I've told you _many_ times. Why don't you?"

I will not strangle Sheldon. I will _not_ strangle Sheldon. I will NOT-

"Drat! No connection! Oh noooo..."

"Ok, that's unfortunate... Let's think back where exactly we came from and maybe we can just walk back. You should know every turn we made with your precious eidetic memory. _Don't you?_"

I know he doesn't. He was busy lecturing me about the importance of being _flexible_ (seriously!), whenever the opportunity arises to learn something new. What's there to learn about bridges anyway?

"Amy. I don't _waste_ my eidetic memory for mapping landscapes and routes."

"No, you use it for memorizing the lives and languages of countless superheroes and made up space sagas."

"You're always so mean and irrational when you're hungry."

"_Sooo,_ you have no idea where we came from?"

Ohhh, the way he looks down, studying his feet... What is it about him that one second I want to squeeze his throat and the next I'm having all warm and fuzzy feelings in my belly?

"No. I do not."

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><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

What have I done to deserve this?! Being lost in the forest of all places! Most likely to die! Without having achieved _anything_ remotely remarkable in my life! No Nobel Prize! No major breakthrough in physics! Nothing! All I wanted was to attend a lecture of one of the most renowned and accomplished scientists of our time. I would think, that's not too much to ask for. But it appears it really is... I am so unlucky, it's insulting!

I asked Amy to come with me to Stanford because I thought it would be fun to go there with her and not with Leonard and Raj, even though she's not a physicist. Which I _still_ find pretty unfortunate when I think about what exceptionally great things we could discover together with our brilliant minds combined. But no, I'm stuck with cretins like Kripke, and she's happy cutting brains and observing monkeys. _Anyway_. Naturally, she wanted to make a big "relationship" thing out of it, with sightseeing and fancy dinners and stuff. So as usual, we negotiated and came up with a plan guaranteeing that we will _both_ enjoy this trip, and I'm okay with the things she wanted to do. Surprisingly okay actually. Even though by now I really shouldn't be amazed anymore by my apparent new fondness for everything hippie dippy. She thinks, I wouldn't know that she finds it "romantic" just because she didn't use the word. As if I've met her just yesterday...

Back to the topic: The plan I made was of course flawless, and I really looked forward to this trip, which surely would've been one of the best of my life. Four days full of scientific fun with Amy! I was so excited to attend a lecture from one of the most important experts in Dark Matter. There aren't many people, whom I consider my equals, but he most certainly is. No Stephen Hawking or Amy, but nevertheless, close enough. And oh! How much I wanted to go to the Exploratorium again! It's undoubtedly the ultimate scientific funhouse! It should be mandatory for everyone to go there at least once in a lifetime. Founded by a physicist, it's naturally the best museum on the whole planet. Even though Frank Oppenheimer was just an experimental physicist. But nobody is perfect. Well, almost nobody. Present company excluded, of course. And I was expecting to get at least one kiss tomorrow evening after our date night dinner! I really don't know how it could have gone _so_ wrong. I _just_ wanted to see some of the historic bridges. Because they are fascinating, _obviously_. Just like trains used to be.

It's not that I don't like trains at all anymore, but lately I prefer playing with them in the safety of my apartment without risking to get robbed. Also, the facilities on them are also no places I miss. No, thank you very much! There's only so much I can endure. How brave I was last summer. Leaving everything behind just like that. Without a plan, without help, just by myself. How come that no one really showed the proper amount of appreciation for that? They never did something so bold! I mean, yeah, Howard went into space. But he knew exactly where he was going and what to expect there. _I_ didn't on my journey into the _real_ unknown! And yet they failed to recognize that. _Or, _and that's much more likely, they chose to ignore it. As usual they probably felt intimidated by my achievement. Except Amy. She _did_ say that it was quite an adventure and that she's proud of me. I know, when all my things got stolen and I had to ask for help, I felt like a failure. Which is why I called Leonard and not her. Why I feared that she would think less of me, I have no idea. She never would. She loves me.

Nevertheless, a few days after I returned she called and said "Sheldon, we have to talk.". Living for that long with Leonard, I knew that this meant nothing good. She made it _perfectly_ clear, that she wasn't pleased with the way I left. I started to argue, and began to list all the very good reasons why I did it. She just interrupted me and said, that from now on, neither of us is allowed to leave without informing the other properly beforehand and _most_ importantly, it is not permitted to leave at all when one of us is upset. _Instead, _now we have to talk about it. _In_ _detail_ until we solved the problem, _as long_ as that may take. I desperately tried to find an argument which would save me from what I feared would be _hours_ of talking about our feelings. But I couldn't find any, that wouldn't have upset her, so I had no other choice than to accept this stupid new rule. Admittedly, it's not _that _bad. Mostly because we don't fight much in the first place. No, we are doing pretty good for the last months since I'm back. But it's also not that bad for the simple reason that I am not afraid of my feelings for Amy anymore. Why I was for that long is beyond me. Telling her that I'm in love with her was no big deal at all, and in a surprising way, even liberating. Who knew?!

Back to the topic: When we crossed the bridges, I told her everything there is to know about them and she enjoyed it. She had that little smile on her face while listening to me. I like that, it makes me feel content. Up until that point the whole seven hours we spent together where extraordinary delightful. Amy has so many interesting things to say, and _she_, unlike others I know, enjoys the car games as well. We _really_ should have sticked to the plan. In hindsight there's no doubt about that. But on the other side, these signs _were_ pretty confusing. I don't even want to know how many people got lost here in this death trap. _Nature_. It is atrocious! Ugh! I don't feel so good and walking around doesn't help at all. We are in the middle of nowhere! The car died on this small path basically in the forest. I have no clue how we ended up here. There are huge trees around us. Everywhere I look, just trees. With _birds_ in them... That's disappointing. I really thought, I'm over my fear of birds. Although, here are most likely the huge kind... That eat prey... Ohhh, I _really_ don't feel so good... And there seems to be no air... Where did the air go?!... Why is that happening? To _me_ of all people?!

"Oh Lord! _Why_ are you punishing me? _Why_ do you want me to suffer? I am a good person! I don't deserve this! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

No, of course he doesn't. He doesn't exist. But just in case he does, I want him to know that I do _not_ agree with his methods! He works in mysterious ways, my mother uses to say... Malarkey!

"Sheldon, please calm down."

Excuse me?! She just stands there, leaning against her car, with her arms crossed, as if this would be the most natural surrounding we could be in! And on top of it, she looks at me as if _I_ would act inappropriate in this horrible situation! Maybe she didn't get what's going on here...

"CALM DOWN!? WE ARE LOST! IN THE _WOODS_!"

"I can see that, but freaking out won't help us."

Pfft! I'm _not_ freaking out. I'm a _little_ upset... and short of breath... And who wouldn't, since there is no air here?! But I am NOT freaking out!

"Stop pacing around. Let's look at the situation rationally. It will be dark soon and I'm getting hungry."

We're doomed!

"Oh God! It will be _dark_ soon! Who cares if _we _are hungry?! We will get eaten by bears or whatever monstrous creatures occupy this place as soon as the sun sets! _Why_ did you take me here?!"

"What?! You wanted to see these stupid bridges, not me!"

"You should've stopped me! It's your duty as my girlfriend!"

"Since when?"

Clearly an oversight on my part when we last reviewed the relationship agreement.

"Uhm... Since now! But _now_ is _too_ late... Oh no, we're going to die... _I know it._"

I am so miserable and she doesn't care! Doesn't she want to live?! Again, what have I done to deserve this? I am _unquestionably_ the most reasonable person on this planet, and if people would just see the logic behind _all_ my actions, I wouldn't have to compromise so much. But I _do_ and do I get a nice getaway with my girlfriend? Do I get an enjoyable trip to maybe, just _maybe_, find some new ideas which could bring me back on track straight to the Nobel? No. I get an empty gas tank, in the frightening dark forest with all sorts of creepy birds around us, and a bitchy Amy with a hollow stomach. Life's just not fair... So unfair!

"_No one _is going to die. And stop blaming me for being in a situation _you_ created. Please just check on your phone where exactly we are, and if we can walk to the next gas station or if we have to call the towing service."

Huh? Why haven't I thought about this? She _is _the best!

"Of course, Amy! The phone!... Even though I really think you should have GPS in your car. Like I've told you _many_ times. Why don't you?"

The look she throws at me makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel my throat tighten, like someone's squeezing it... I already imagine things. Can that be?... Sure, with the lack of oxygen here... Anyway, I just need to check the phone, and this misery will be over!

"Drat! No connection! Oh noooo..."

"Ok, that's unfortunate... Let's think back where exactly we came from and maybe we can just walk back. You should know every turn we made with your precious eidetic memory. _Don't you?_"

The way she said "precious" makes me doubt the sincerity of it... Nah, that cannot be. I'm _really_ imagining things. I know she admires my brain. Who doesn't? It's perfect and designed for great achievements. She should know that, but apparently _her_ brain suffers from oxygen deficiency as well...

"Amy. I don't _waste_ my eidetic memory for mapping landscapes and routes."

"No, you use it for memorizing the lives and languages of countless superheroes and made up space sagas."

That's so uncalled-for, I don't even know how to respond to that insult!... Oh, she really needs to eat. Rational Amy always gets replaced with cranky Amy when she's hungry.

"You're always so mean and irrational when you're hungry."

"_Sooo,_ you have no idea where we came from?"

I feel embarrassed that I don't. I really should have paid more attention while we were driving, and not talked about the importance of _flexibility_ of all things. It's my fault that we're stuck here. It's my fault that we're going to die. I can't look at her, I feel so bad. I led my girlfriend into the creepy woods, and now I can't even save her.

"No. I do not."

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading! :)<strong>


	2. What Would Freud Think?

**Chapter 2 - What Would Freud Think?**

**Amy**

Sheldon's right, I need to eat soon. Our last break was over four hours ago and I only had a snack. _I_ wanted to eat something more filling, but _he_ insisted that we wouldn't have time for that. It would've ruined our schedule. His prioritization skills suck!... Whatever, it doesn't help now to be angry with him. And besides, the situation is bad enough as it is, no need to make it even worse with petty quarreling... Not to mention how adorable he looks right now... It's hard to stay mad at him when he's like this... Who am I kidding? It usually is...

"It's alright, Sheldon. We will find a way out of here."

"It's all my fault."

"You just got excited about the bridges, and we both didn't think to check the fuel gauge... And these signs _were_ pretty misleading."

"Still..."

He keeps his head down, and I feel the strong urge to just hug him tight! But he's not a fan of spontaneous hugging (sadly still!)... I should at least make him feel better by telling him that I'm sure that everything is going to be alright... And I am sure! I mean, what could possibly happen?!

"Sheldon, look at me... Everything will be ok. I promise."

"You shouldn't promise me that."

"But I just-"

"_I_ should promise _you,_ that everything will be alright. I should protect you and make you feel safe. Not the other way round."

Awww...

"Sheldon. I _do_ feel safe with you."

"You do?"

"Yes, of course..."

Oh, how he let's out a small sigh of relief... If not a hug, then maybe a kiss?... A _consoling_ kiss?... But no! We need to get away from here...

"Come on, let's get back into the car and make a plan how to proceed."

Ugh! How annoyingly prudential of me...

"Ok."

I just can't stop smiling at him. Sometimes he makes me so happy with the things he says. Does he even know, what it means to me? That he wants to protect me? Being strong and fearless... Oh my, that is so hot!... He is neither though. He wouldn't last a second in a fight and there is no one more fearful of all sorts of things than he is. Nothing about Sheldon is consistent. He walks around like a Greek God, tall and handsome with a brain so superior that it should scare people, often so arrogant and condescending in his whole demeanor (... or so people say, I just find him overall endearing!), and yet here he sits in the passenger seat of my car, looking nervously around like a frightened rabbit... Ohhh, now he smiles back at me... But we are in a _serious_ situation, I really shouldn't think about kissing him... _Say something useful!_

"The problem is, that with all the odd turns that we took, we don't know if we're close to the last main street we were on, or really deep in the wood. So if we leave the car, we don't know in which direction we should go. We might even go deeper into the forest if we take the wrong one... Do you remember _anything_ that might help us?"

How I love his eyes!... Hmmm... I could get lost looking into them forever...

"I don't know... Maybe... I have to think."

What was my question?... I really want to kiss him... _Right now._.. How he leans back with his eyes closed... Hmmm... How I love his lips... _So_ soft... And tasty... I know, because since he came back and had to make up for all the missed time, we kissed regularly. Very regularly! In fact, for a while almost _every_ day until he successfully fulfilled his boyfriend duties. Which was way too soon! We kissed even in front of others! _Despite _the fact, that he insisted on not doing that again, after the first time on the train... I also want to change the Relationship Agreement permanently. I don't know how yet, but I don't want to kiss him only on date nights anymore. Even though these are weekly now and not only once a month. But I really do love kissing him sooo much...

Although at first, I was overwhelmed. By the fact itself that Sheldon is _really_ kissing me after _years_ of dreaming about it, but also because I've never been kissed before. I just didn't know what to do. I've seen people kissing each other countless times, and yet I didn't know how to react. What to do with my arms and hands, how to position my head, how to move my lips. So I kept still and just enjoyed the feeling of his lips on mine. _He_ on the other hand seemed to know what to do. He always put his hands on my waist and bent his head down with a little smile on his face just before he kissed me. And I just stood there letting it happen. When he came back and we went on our first dates, that changed though. And I'm _sure_, it had something to do with the fact, that I knew I wouldn't have to wait another month for the next kiss but only 24 hours. So I watched some "educational" movies, that the girls recommended, like "The Notebook", braved up and kissed him back. The effect was sensational! It's so much better than before, and he seems to like it as well. He didn't say anything, but the first time I laid my hands on his arms, moved them up around his neck, turned my head a little to the side, and put a little more pressure on his lips with mine, the kiss lasted glorious 12 seconds longer than usual. The second even 23 and the third-

"Amy! I think I know where we are!"

"You do? Where?"

"The last street we were on shouldn't be as far away as approximately two and a half miles. We can walk that."

"Are you sure? Because you know what the weather forecast said on the radio earlier about the heavy rainfall, and I have no umbrella."

"As sure as I can be under these circumstances..."

That doesn't sound too convincing. But what are the alternatives? Stay here in the car?... No. We're here now for almost an hour and no one came by.

"And they said the rain isn't expected until late in the night. Then we'll be already safe and sound in our hotel room- rooms, I mean."

He looks at me as if he just said something completely indecent... Geez, Sheldon. As if I would even believe for one moment that we'd share a room. I can see the palpable nervous ticks you get, every time I'm just standing in the door of your bedroom!... It's so cute how his eye starts to blink rapidly... Interesting slip of the tongue though... Maybe Freudian?... Hmmm... Probably... No, _surely_. Which would also explain, why he keeps denying the ticks. The first time that happened, not long after the Prom, I asked him if he'd have something with his eye. He just answered, that he doesn't know what I'm talking about... Ridiculous, to be honest. There he was with one eye totally out of control and he just kept dismissing it!... What does that mean?... _Not the time to find that out NOW!..._ I know, I know...

"Ok. We should start right away then, before it gets darker."

"We should check first, if you have anything useful in your car that we can take with us."

"Why? You said it would only be two and a half miles. What could happen-"

"Amy. Let's not forget where we are. We should be prepared for all eventualities. We take the flashlight of course, and-"

Damn! And now I'll get a lecture about the importance of proper emergency equipment in ones car.

"Sheldon..."

"Oh, Amy! I am disappointed! Did you at least check your first aid kit? Did you check _anything_ at all before we left this morning?"

"I did. And the first aid kit is complete, I assure you. I also had a flashlight, but I lent it to Penny-"

"Now she's stealing life saving equipment from people?!"

"She just forgot to give it back."

"Don't defend her. It's not like she didn't get the memo about the emergency protocols. Five times! _And_ she still didn't manage to get her own flashlight! _And_ she has a job now. A real one, with good money!"

"Yes, that's true... She should've given me the flashlight back..."

I feel bad... I'm not the best bestie right now... But he just nods in total agreement. Yes, let him be angry with Penny and not me. _She_ doesn't have to walk with a tetchy Sheldon in a forest. I _so_ hope, he's right and this whole annoyance will be over soon. Maybe tomorrow we will laugh about it...

"Shall we go?"

"Yes. But we'll take the first aid kit out of the trunk first and we should also take the blanket from your backseat with us as well... You know, just in case..."

In case of what? He's not really considering the possibility that we have to stay the night here, is he? Does he _really_ know where we are?... But he wouldn't have said so if he wouldn't, right? Maybe it just makes him feel safer to take things with us?... Yes, that's it. Sheldon hates being unprepared.

"Of course. We also still have two full bottles of water."

At least we won't dehydrate!... Something to eat would be much preferred though...

"Good."

We get out of the car and collect whatever he considers useful. He's finished searching through the trunk and takes out the first aid kit. He really wants to carry that around?... Well, if it helps. And he's not wrong. One should always be ready for all possible situations.

"So Sheldon, what's the plan?"

"We go back south a little and then there should be a crossing where we turn left. After approximately half a mile, we should turn left again and at the next crossing to the right and that should lead us to the main street."

"Ok, sounds good."

I make sure that the car is locked, put the water bottles into my purse, take the blanket and off we go... It's not completely dark yet but it will be very soon. If we're lucky and walk fast, we might not have to spend too long in the dark forest... Then again, what could _possibly_ happen? It's not like we're in a movie or something, where all sorts of crazy and unbelievable things occur to some poor unlucky fellows... To be honest, this is quite exciting. Being alone out here with Sheldon... Chills!

"You know, this is quite adventurous. Don't you think?"

He looks at me like I've lost my mind... But it is!

"_Adventurous?!_ Why would you think that?"

"Well, we're stuck in an unknown territory trying to find our way back to 'civilization' so to speak... Possibly we have to overcome obstacles and maybe even dangers! Isn't that the theme of many of the movies you love so much?"

I shouldn't, really, I _shouldn't _have said "dangers". What is wrong with me?

"Wha...what kind of _dangers_ are you thinking of?"

Ohhh, his voice is small and slightly trembling. I better straighten out my faux pas right away. Nothing's here remotely dangerous!

"No, I don't think about anything in particular. Even more so, I am _sure_, we won't experience anything dangerous or even _slightly_ interesting on the way. I just thought, that the situation itself has some similarities to your adventure movies. That is all. _Really_."

He seems to consider that... Honestly, I have to be more careful! I don't want to frighten my cuddle bunny even more... He's slowing down now and keeps looking around... Oh no. He's not going to last anoth-

"Amy. We have to go back to your car."

"Why? Nothing is going to happen. I'm sure... I _really_ am."

"I want to take something out of the trunk anyway."

Huh?... But what can I say? If it makes him feel better. It's my own fault that we have to go back again and loose time. Me and my imprudent blabbermouth!

"Alright."

We turn around and walk back... He immediately opens the trunk and starts searching through the small tool box I have. I don't even know what is in there. I know it's complete, because since I bought it, I never opened it again. I got it many years ago, because I think women should always be able to help themselves in a situation of crisis and not depend on men to fix things for them. And I just assumed with my exceptional intellect, figuring out what to do would be a piece of cake... Thankfully though, I never had to find out if that's true... He seems to have found what he was looking for. He straightens up and holds a tool in his hand. Aha?

"Amy, we should take the pin type face wrench with us as well... You know, we could use it as a weapon."

That's kinda cute. What does he want to fight with that? But alright... Hmmm... Sexy that he actually knows what it's called... Oh _my_...

"We can go now."

And off we are again... Let's hope he doesn't have to prove his non existing fighting skills... Oh, I shouldn't think that. Here he is trying to make sure that we will be safe, and I'm making fun of him. How ungrateful!... Huh? What's that? He's taking my hand?! _Whaaat?!_

"Sheldon? Are you ok?"

"This is for safety... To make sure that we don't loose each other."

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

I still can't bring myself to look up at her. I feel ashamed. She said it would disrupt our schedule if we leave the route, and I didn't listen. And now here we are, and I have no idea how to make it better...

"It's alright, Sheldon. We will find a way out of here."

"It's all my fault."

"You just got excited about the bridges, and we both didn't think to check the fuel gauge... And these signs _were_ pretty misleading."

"Still..."

"Sheldon, look at me... Everything will be ok. I promise."

Her voice is calm now and she doesn't have that miffed expression on her face anymore, that always makes me feel a bit unsettled. She even smiles a little... Amy is always trying to make me feel better when I'm upset. She always says the right things and my mood usually lightens up instantly... But now it doesn't help at all...

"You shouldn't promise me that."

"But I just-"

"_I_ should promise _you,_ that everything will be alright. I should protect you and make you feel safe. Not the other way round."

I really wish sometimes... _rarely_... that I would be a different man. Stronger and fearless and able to keep my girlfriend away from harm... But I'm not that man. Instead I'm afraid most of my waking hours of all sorts of things... _Reasonable_ things, but still...

"Sheldon. I _do_ feel safe with you."

Really?

"You do?"

"Yes, of course... Come on, let's get back into the car and make a plan how to proceed."

"Ok."

I do feel much better now. Once again she said the right words and I know, she doesn't lie to me... Well, usually she doesn't and when she does, I get rewarded with something like the school girl outfit... _Oh no, don't think about _that_ now!_... She should lie more often... _What!? Stop that now! It's a _serious_ situation here!._.. Anyway, I really feel calmer now... But I also should look around for intruders or something... Is the car really locked?... Do I make her happy with the things I say?... Probably... _Surely_... I like looking at Amy... She's so incredibly smart, just like me. Our brains are so remarkable, we could easily rule the planet to everyone's advantage. But sadly, they don't let us, and I'm not into planning a hostile takeover. We would need an army and there would be too much blood and other yucky squishy things to deal with on our rise to power. Also, I am not _completely_ opposed to democracy, they just shouldn't let stupid people vote... However, my point is, that Amy is really interesting. Much more so than any other person I know. What I really adore (Huh? _Adore?!_)... Okay, so what I _adore_ is, that she knows it. I like it a lot, when she walks around in full confidence of her superiority, not caring at all about other people's opinions, not wasting time to dumb down or to play nice by conventional standards... Not like_ I _do _all the time_, what I find pretty exhausting and debilitating... Oh, looking at her smiling pretty face, makes me feel warm in my belly... I can't help but to smile as well...

"The problem is, that with all the odd turns that we took, we don't know if we're close to the last main street we were on or really deep in the wood. So if we leave the car, we don't know in which direction we should go. We might even go deeper into the forest if we take the wrong one... Do you remember _anything_ that might help us?"

Hmmm... Her eyes... They sparkle... That's so nice... What was the question?... Oh! Yes, of course. Finding a way out of here!

"I don't know... Maybe... I have to think."

Alright perfect brain of mine! Work!... I close my eyes and try to remember everything that has happened after we left for the bridges... Where did we loose the way exactly?... I want to kiss her. Right now even though it's not date night... What has become of me? I notice things now, that I haven't before. Or more accurate, things I've been ignoring. Like her skin and how soft it is... I blame the many dates she forced me into after I came back last summer. Kissing her almost every day made me weak, and now I miss it on the days we don't have a date or I don't see her at all. Thankfully we changed date night to once a week. But still, not enough... I even did it in front of others! OTHER PEOPLE! Even though I _swore_ to myself never to do that again, after the in retrospect pretty embarrassing PDA session on the train. This is how little I can refrain myself from exchanging kisses with my girlfriend now. It's shameful... Anyway, the thing with kissing Amy is, that it's really good. I don't know why that is so, but after I came back she kisses me differently. After the first time, she just stood there basically motionless. It took me a while to notice, and I seriously asked myself if she even likes it, but I just went for it anyhow. There's _no way_, that she wouldn't enjoy kissing me. She even reminded me when I forgot it (which _never_ happens anymore). She wouldn't have done that otherwise. However, when we went on our many make up dates, that changed though. Suddenly she became more... What's the word?... _Active_. And dear Lord, that made it a whole new experience! I used to count the exact appropriate time of a goodnight kiss, but not anymore. I just don't want it to ever stop. The way she grabs my upper arms, moving her hands up to my neck, playing a little with my hair... Oh no! I _really_ want to kiss her now! _Maybe_ I just should... But wait, am I not supposed to find a way out of here? This is so _not _the time to get distracted by her alluring mouth... So, where did we come from? Where did we turn? Think back to every step we made after we left the highway... I know!

"Amy! I think I know where we are!"

"You do? Where?"

"The last street we were on shouldn't be as far away as approximately two and a half miles. We can walk that."

"Are you sure? Because you know what the weather forecast said on the radio earlier about the heavy rainfall, and I have no umbrella."

"As sure as I can be under these circumstances..."

I wish I would sound more convincing... But I'm pretty sure... That's something, right?... No! I _am_ sure! And the rain shouldn't be a problem also...

"And they said the rain isn't expected until late in the night. Then we'll be already safe and sound in our hotel room- rooms, I mean."

Did she notice that?! What is up with me lately? This room sharing thing gets out of hand! _Stop thinking about _that_ now!... _Yes, yes... And she doesn't seem to think any of it. Maybe she didn't notice my Freudi- uhm... slip of the tongue... _Nothing_ here has anything to do with Freud!

"Ok. We should start right away then, before it gets darker."

"We should check first, if you have anything useful in your car that we can take with us."

"Why? You said it would only be two and a half miles. What could happen-"

"Amy. Let's not forget where we are. We should be prepared for all eventualities. We take the flashlight of course, and-"

"Sheldon..."

Really? Did _no one _read the memo?!

"Oh, Amy! I am disappointed! Did you at least check your first aid kit? Did you check _anything_ at all before we left this morning?"

"I did. And the first aid kit is complete, I assure you. I also had a flashlight, but I lent it to Penny-"

Of course! As if plundering my refrigerator daily wouldn't be enough!

"Now she's stealing life saving equipment from people?!"

"She just forgot to give it back."

"Don't defend her. It's not like she didn't get the memo about the emergency protocols. Five times! _And_ she still didn't manage to get her own flashlight! _And_ she has a job now. A real one, with good money!"

"Yes, that's true... She should've given me the flashlight back... Shall we go?"

"Yes, let's get the first aid kit out of the trunk and we should take the blanket from your backseat with us as well... You know, just in case..."

Please don't ask me for what case! Please! I do not want to admit that I might have doubts about the way that I proposed we should take... Small doubts... Tiny... Really tiny... Not worth mentioning...Really!... Should we better stay in the car after all?... No. I am sure I know the way! I do!

"Of course. We also still have two full bottles of water."

"Good."

We get out of the car. I check the first aid kit if it's _really_ complete... It is... At least _something_... She even has a tool box. How considerate of her! A canister with fuel would be much preferred though...

"So Sheldon, what's the plan?"

"We go back south a little and then there should be a crossing where we turn left. After approximately half a mile, we should turn left again and at the next crossing to the right and that should lead us to the main street."

"Ok, sounds good."

It does, simply because it is the right way. I'm never wrong. Why I even doubted it for a second, is beyond me... She makes sure that the car is locked while I take the first aid kit and off we go. If we walk fast we could make it to the street before we have to spend too long in this death trap... But she's so small and her steps are as well in comparison to mine... This will take forever! Ugh!

"You know, this is quite adventurous. Don't you think?"

Has she lost her mind?!

"_Adventurous?!_ Why would you think that?"

"Well, we're stuck in an unknown territory trying to find our way back to 'civilization' so to speak... Possibly we have to overcome obstacles and maybe even dangers! Isn't that the theme of many of the movies you love so much?"

Dangers?! Why would she say such a thing?!

"Wha...what kind of dangers are you thinking of?"

"No, I don't think about anything in particular. Even more so, I am _sure_, we won't experience anything dangerous or even _slightly_ interesting on the way. I just thought, that the situation itself has some similarities to your adventure movies. That is all. _Really_."

_Dangers?! _And we have nothing with us to defend ourselves!... We should go back and stay in the car... No, that's not an option. No one will ever find us there... Oh God! What a mess indeed! But we can't just go like this. Unarmed.

"Amy. We have to go back to your car."

"Why? Nothing is going to happen. I'm sure... I _really_ am."

"I want to take something out of the trunk anyway."

"Alright."

We walk back and loose precious time. Why haven't I thought about taking something more useful with me in the first place?... I'm getting tired. My usual bedtime has already passed... Why didn't I instist on leaving Pasadena sooner? But no, I was a good boyfriend as always, and allowed Amy to pick me up at noon and not at eight as I wanted... Whatever, here we are again, and I open the trunk... Ah, there's the tool I saw earlier, big enough to be useful.

"Amy, we should take the pin type face wrench with us as well... You know, we could use it as a weapon."

That could come in handy should we be faced with an attacker or an animal or something... I don't believe that I'm willingly preparing myself for a situation like that! I am so heroic!... I put it in the back trouser pocket, easy to reach in case... I can defend my Amy after all!

"We can go now."

Why is she standing there with her eyebrows raised? Does she doubt me and my ability to fight for her?! How ungracious!... Let's hope though, I won't have to prove it... She locks the car, and off we are again... I feel a little better now... What did she say about our situation being like an adventure movie? That's not untrue, if I think about it. Our current dilemma fits some quintessential points in many storylines of adventure movies... Usually though, the unfortunate pair gets somehow separated along the way... That _cannot_ happen with us! Under _no_ circumstances will I leave Amy here alone!... How to prevent that from happening?... Oh, I know!

"Sheldon? Are you ok?"

"This is for safety... To make sure that we don't loose each other."

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading! :)<strong>


	3. Touching Is A Good Thing!

**A/N: Maybe I should've mentioned that this is kind of a slow mover. I'm really trying to keep them IC. I really hope, you'll stick with me. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 - Touching Is A Good Thing!<strong>

**Amy**

That is so cute! I won't point out that it's still not completely dark, and that there's _nothing_ here that could _possibly_ separate us... Wow. Now that I think about it, this is the first time in almost _three_ years, that Sheldon's taking my hand by his own choice. His hand is so warm... How I love holding hands! Sadly though, he usually doesn't... Well, I should just enjoy this now. Who knows for how long it's going to last...

"This is so nice. Why you're always making such a big deal out if it, is still beyond me."

Whoops!

"That again? We have had this conversation many, _many_ times already."

I really don't want to bug him, so I better be quiet _now_... Really!

"No, we hadn't. What we had, was you complaining about it endlessly without giving a proper reason."

I have to acknowledge, that my mouth and my brain aren't properly cooperating right now... Must be the hunger, and I'm also a bit tired already... He looks at me offended... But it's true anyway!

"Ok, I know about the germs but I even use sanitizer before I ask you to hold my hand!"

"Well..."

"And _you_ started it when we watched Howard's launch."

I really should stop bringing that up. It's getting old.

"I know, and _you_ took advantage of _one_ _tiny_ weak moment and insisted on changing the agreement _forever!"_

Forever! Pfft! _Nothing_ in the Relationship Agreement seems to be for "forever". But I won't mention that. He loves his agreements and the security that they provide. I know, that when I'm upset or annoyed, I use to think of it as "ridiculous" (I think, I even said so once or twice... I shouldn't have...), but I really don't think it is. I like it as well. It shows me what I can expect and what not... Well, until he does the next thing that's _explicitly_ forbidden according to the terms of our contract. Like holding my hand when it's not for comfort while getting a flu shot or for saving ones life while hanging over a cliff. Or hugging and cuddling when it's not solely for consolation. Or most importantly: like kissing...

"The agreement gives and the agreement takes..."

"That's not funny, Amy."

It kinda is, as it usually works in my favor when we revise it. However, I shouldn't say so either. He is capable of scratching it all out at once again, if he feels the need to make a point that I'm being "impossible" or something. On the other side, even _if_ he would, I seriously doubt that he could really return to the sad times, when even a consoling hug was basically out of the question and cuddling only happened after some hard bargaining. He never said (of course), but I know for a fact, that he enjoys to cuddle, since we do that pretty often now. Mostly when we watch a movie or a tv show._ I don't even have to ask! _As soon as the program starts he's putting his arm around me and I snuggle myself against him. It's wonderful... And not to mention kissing! He couldn't stop with that as much as he wants to make himself believe that he could... Funny thing that happened five weeks ago: We were having our weekly date and he brought me home after the movies (where he made a ridiculous big fuss about holding my hand. Again! And people were already looking. I was a bit embarrassed, to be honest). We were so absorbed in our conversation, that we were surprised when Leonard knocked at the appointed time. I opened the door and didn't even think about the kiss (seriously, I didn't). I said "Hello" to Leonard and "Goodnight" to Sheldon and was waiting for him to leave. But he just stood in my living room. When I asked him if he forgot something, he finally walked over, shut the door in Leonard's face, and said "It's date night, Amy. Aren't _you_ forgetting something?". Leonard's curses outside ruined the mood a bit, but it was nevertheless a great kiss... All kisses from Sheldon are great!... But so is holding hands.

"No, it's not funny. I'm sorry. But I'd really like to know, what it is exactly about holding my hand that you find so repellent."

"Repellent? I never said that."

"No, but it's implied in everything you did say concerning this matter."

"I don't find it repellent."

"What is it then?"

"I don't know and I don't want to talk about it."

"But I do."

He will most certainly let go of my hand now. But I won't have it, I just hold him tighter, he can't get away from this... Oh, he can't get away _at all! _What a nice opportunity this is, to talk about some things that have been on my mind... One should always see the bright side...

"So, Sheldon. Are you going to answer? Besides, you have to. It's in the agreement now that we have to talk about whatever is upsetting us. And your reluctance to hold my hand kind of does upset me."

"Ugh... Alright... It's not that I don't like it all. It helps that you sanitize your hands, but they still get sweaty most times and I don't like that. Also it's the same with hugging. I don't like the feeling of being captured... And I'd like to point out here, that _despite_ of all this, I _always_ do hold your hand. Just because you're a girl and it's in your DNA to like stuff like that. So you have no reason whatsoever to be upset. I do though, _and I'm not._"

He said the last part as if he achieved something grand by not being upset from a little holding hands... Which isn't true anyway. He really is such a drama queen at times... And it's in my DNA?! He's so wrong and yet he says that with the utmost confidence. That's probably one of his father's "pieces of wisdom"... So sad...

"No Sheldon. It has nothing to do with my DNA and you should know that. I didn't care at all about holding hands for the longest time and I most certainly do not want to do it with someone else just because I like it."

"It doesn't matter if you would want to, you're not allowed to do that anyway. It's in the agreement: No intimate physical contact of any sort with other people... It's disturbing that I have to remind you."

I know I shouldn't, but I like it, when he gets possessive.

"I know that, and I don't want to _as I have said._ But that's not the point."

"What is?"

"I like it mostly because it feels nice and also because it shows the world that we are a couple."

"Why is that so important to you? Why do you care so much if or if not the 'world' knows that we're a couple?"

I don't know... No, that's not true. I do. I just like to swank with my dashing Dr. Cooper and let everyone know that he's with me. That he chose _me_ of all the women out there who would clearly love to be in my place. I mean, who wouldn't? In comparison to Sheldon, _every_ man is just a consolation prize!

"So, why do you?"

"Well, I do like showing off that I have such a brilliant and handsome boyfriend..."

Awww... He looks at me with a bright smile on his face... And oh! He just squeezed my hand a little. AWWW!

"... Furthermore, I just want to feel connected to you. And holding hands kind of does that."

"How? I think that the superiority of our brains connects us. I mean, that is what makes us fitting for each other above everything else. We are intellectually compatible like no other couple I know, which makes us clearly the best of them all. They even admitted that too!"

I don't remember anyone admitting that they would agree with that. I remember a whole lot of eye rolling and snarky remarks though.

"Who did when admit what?"

"Not explicitly. However, neither Penny and Leonard nor Howard and Bernadette took the test. Raj and Emily also didn't. _Obviously_ because they knew they'll _never_ score as high as we did."

That makes sense.

"Yes, that's true. I can't even imagine having to dumb down like Bernadette has to, or to be with someone who has nothing in common with me like Penny... I don't really know yet what to think of Emily and Rajesh. She doesn't like Penny, which is a mystery to me... But I guess I would hate every woman you hooked up with too... I would _even_ hate Penny then."

He snorts like that's the most disgusting thing he can imagine.

"Don't say things like that!"

"Sorry!"

"So you see. We don't need to hold hands."

"Maybe not, but I still want to anyway."

"Of course you do."

We're still walking on the way we last took, and I still have no idea how we ended up here. It's rather a path than a street, with huge trees around us and the only sounds we hear are from birds. If we would be here on purpose and during the day, it would be quite nice actually... I know my hand is getting sweaty now. He's right, it mostly does and I know why. Not because I usually have sweaty hands but because touching him does all sorts of things to my body. My heart beats faster, I feel warm _everywhere_, there's the well known tingling in my stomach, and when it's especially nice I have to actively control my breathing. Once he thought I have an asthma attack (even though he knows I don't have it), I got so short-winded when he, unintentionally of course, caressed my hand with his thumb.

"I also like it, because I always like it when we touch each other."

"I know. You made it more than once _very_ clear how much you like touching."

I wish he wouldn't have that slightly accusing undertone. There is _nothing_ wrong with wanting to touch ones boyfriend! Why he keeps thinking otherwise is completely perplexing to me. Not to mention that there already is a lot of touching going on when we cuddle and kiss and he doesn't seem to mind that... At all!... Well, to be honest, it's not that we would "grope" each other. He's as far away as one can be from finding second base. Even more so, sometimes his grip on my arm is so strong like it's glued on it. I wouldn't mind a little exploring of the surroundings... Anyway. And when we kiss, all I did up until now was clutching his arms and sometimes, when I felt bold, moving my hands up to caress the nape of his neck a little. Right below his hairline where the skin is sooo unbelievably smooth... He still has his hands firmly on my waist every time. Sometimes I think, that he does that to keep me at a safe distance. Once, he took a tiny step forward but instead of getting closer, he pushed me back a split second later. It was hardly noticeable, but I felt it. What was the point then!? Maybe he really doesn't like the idea of our bodies so close... _I _love that idea! _I _dream about that idea!...

The main reason why I came up with our new "Disclosure of Feelings" rule was, that I realized how exhausted I was from tiptoeing around Sheldon. Always being careful about what I say and what I do, without starting a fight or freaking him out. For the longest time, I felt like I'm with a ticking bomb, at risk to go off anytime. And when he finally did and ran away, I was left with nothing but loneliness and uncertainty. The thing with Sheldon is, that while he's _perfectly_ able to make clear what he doesn't like, he mostly keeps it strictly to himself why that is so. Especially regarding all the really important things, like touching. So when he invited me to this trip, I thought that maybe we could use this as an opportunity to deepen our bond a little. It's not that I feel insecure about his feelings. No, not at all. I know he loves me, and I love him. Very much so. But there's still some things unspoken of, even with our new rule in place. Except for a few times, we never speak about the physical side of our relationship. Yes, things (finally!) happen, with all the kissing and cuddling. But I know, to be able to do that, he basically had to work himself into it. He's fighting his internal struggles all by himself and I just wish he would let me in more. I'm no psychiatrist (God no!), but I know a great deal about neuropsychological conditions. And I know, he's carrying a ton of these around. Was he always like this? Was it the result of experiences? If the latter, which ones? I wasn't very fond of touching people myself, before I met him. And I know why. Rejection was all what I associated with it. Mostly, when people touched me, it wasn't pleasant. It was part of cruel joke on me or when other kids beat me up, for simply being who I am. However, I got over it. Well, _after_ I met Sheldon, fell deeply in love with him and started to have nightly fantasies about him having his way with me... Anyhow, my point is, that it's not really about getting some "real action" soon, as the girls call it, it's more about getting to know Sheldon even better than I already do. I simply want to know _every tiny detail _about him.

"But you don't like touching."

"Not that much, no. But..."

Huh? What happened to his voice? I know that tone... Somewhat lower and deeper... He always has that when he's about to- What now? He stops walking and turns around to look at me... Ohhh. In the twilight he looks so beautiful. His blue eyes are dark and that serious expression on his face... I feel weak in my knees... Which isn't good. We have to keep walking. I need my legs fully functional!... He wanted to say something?

"But what?"

Oh? My throat is dry and it sounds hoarse... I think I know what's going to happen... Oh yes, please! Who cares why he doesn't like stupid holding hands!

"But... But lately, l find..."

He takes a step forward and licks his lips as he looks down at me, and I stop breathing. Here it comes! He closes his eyes when he leans down and presses his soft and amazing lips on mine... Hmmm, how I love that!... But it's different somehow... More pressure... My knees! Don't give up!... He clutches my hand so tight it almost hurts but at the same time it's wonderful... I hear the first aid kit fall to the ground and _what?!_ He grabs my waist with his other hand and pulls me closer to him. SO close! _Finally!_... I feel his heartbeat... Or is it mine?... I need something to hold on to. This is just sooo... I don't even know what, and why the hell am I thinking at all?!... I drop the blanket and put my hand on his arm... His strong and oh so manly biceps, which still surprises me every time... I think I'm squeezing too much, but he doesn't stop kissing me... _like I've never been kissed before!_... I feel his fingers digging a little in the skin of my waist... What is happening here?... Oh!... OH!... More pressure... _Urgent_... He's on _fire!... _He moves his slightly opened mouth on mine and now he takes my upper lip between his and sucks a little on it!... Oh God! I think I hear myself moan... Oh, yes! He grabs me even tighter and I hear his breathing changed... Faster... Shallow... Harder... My hand moves up and I can't help but to grasp the nape of his neck, holding him in place as the kiss deepens... He releases my lip and ohhh, I need to resist the urge to find out what all the fuss about french kissing is... This is so awesome... This is so- NOOO! He lets go of me and takes a few steps back, looking- no, _staring_ at me...

"Sheldon?"

He doesn't say anything, just keeps breathing fast and staring at me... Oh no! He's going to freak out!

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

I will not think about the fact that it's still not dark and that there is momentarily no threat which could _possibly_ split us up. I _really_ don't want to think about why I feel the urge to hold her hand all of a sudden. I don't like holding hands... Well, maybe a _little_ bit. A few weeks ago, I found myself fondling her hand with my thumb, which was really nice... But in the grand scheme of things, I really don't like it... What I like though, is kissing. Ugh! Again?! What is it today that I keep thinking about kissing her all the time?... How I wish it would really be only today and not _constantly..._

"This is so nice. Why you're always making such a big deal out if it, is still beyond me."

I knew she wouldn't just let me take her hand without having a "conversation" about it. She will make me regret it!

"That again? We have had this conversation many, _many_ times already."

"No, we hadn't. What we had, was you complaining about it endlessly without giving a proper reason."

That's quite offending. My reasons are _always_ plausible.

"Ok, I know about the germs but I even use sanitizer before I ask you to hold my hand!"

Yes, she does. She's so thoughtful!

"Well..."

"And _you_ started it when we watched Howard's launch."

She will _never_ let me forget that! It's been almost three years since that happened, and yet she _still_ brings that up! It's getting old, Amy!

"I know and _you_ took advantage of _one tiny_ weak moment and insisted on changing the agreement _forever_!"

It's my own fault. All these years ago, I wrote the perfect contract that defined everything important in our relationship. But what did I do? Did I follow it? No. I broke my own rules _all the time_... Although, I guess I _could_ have been more resistant about changing the agreement, _if_ I wanted to. But I didn't and here we are, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, hugging, and having weekly date nights. So the truth is, that nothing in our agreement seems to be for forever... On the bright side, I get to kiss her much more often!

"The agreement gives and the agreement takes..."

"That's not funny, Amy."

Of course she thinks differently, since it usually works in her favor, whenever we revise it. But then again, I'm not completely unhappy about the amendments... I have to admit, that I like cuddling. She's always so warm, and even though I really don't like it when people touch me, the way she lays her arm around my belly is not unpleasant... At all... Although, sometimes I have difficulties following the program on tv. I find myself thinking about other things... Or more accurate, _concentrating_ on other things. Like to keep my hand where it belongs. On her arm! It seems to have the tendency to want to wander around. The first time that happened, I was _this_ close-

"No, it's not funny. I'm sorry. But I'd really like to know, what it is exactly about holding my hand that you find so repellent."

"Repellent? I never said that."

"No, but it's implied in everything you did say concerning this matter."

"I don't find it repellent."

I really don't. But I'm also really not a fan. In the before mentioned grand scheme of things. I have to be careful though, she tends to get upset or worse, _weepy_, when I say something she doesn't like about these things. _Emotional_ things. I don't know, what holding hands has to do with emotions, but apparently it has a lot.

"What is it then?"

"I don't know and I don't want to talk about it."

"But I do."

She just grabbed my hand a little tighter. I guess to make a point. I don't see why though, it's not like I could get away from here anyhow. Is this holding hands business something that falls under the new "Disclosure of Feelings" paragraph? I hope not!

"So, Sheldon. Are you going to answer? Besides, you have to. It's in the agreement now that we have to talk about whatever is upsetting us. And your reluctance to hold my hand kind of does upset me."

"Ugh... Alright... It's not that I don't like it all. It helps that you sanitize your hands, but they still get sweaty most times and I don't like that. Also it's the same with hugging. I don't like the feeling of being captured... And I'd like to point out here, that _despite_ of all this, I _always_ do hold your hand. Just because you're a girl and it's in your DNA to like stuff like that. So you have no reason whatsoever to be upset. I do though, _and I'm not._"

The look she throws at me is... Hmmm... Pitying? Why? Isn't it right, that women like all these romantic and cuddly things? That's what my father used to say. In other words though. Words I do not feel comfortable to repeat. Even in my head... Although, maybe I should reconsider his "wisdom" when it comes to the opposite sex. He was an obese drunk whom my mother hated in the end. Probably not the most reliable source.

"No Sheldon. It has nothing to do with my DNA and you should know that. I didn't care at all about holding hands for the longest time and I most certainly do not want to do it with someone else just because I like it."

The idea alone of her touching another man is _not _acceptable! She does know, that she's forbidden to do that, right? _Right?!_

"It doesn't matter if you would want to, you're not allowed to do that anyway. It's in the agreement: No intimate physical contact of any sort with other people... It's disturbing that I have to remind you."

"I know that, and I don't want to _as I have said._ But that's not the point."

"What is?"

"I like it mostly because it feels nice and also because it shows the world that we are a couple."

That's something I really don't understand. Her need to show other people that we have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. What's the point? Why does she care? Why does she think other people would care?

"Why is that so important to you? Why do you care so much if or if not the 'world' knows that we're a couple?"

She doesn't answer and it looks like she's thinking about it. Shouldn't she know why she makes me show signs of physical intimacy in public? All this better has some good reason!

"So, why do you?"

"Well, I do like showing off that I have such a brilliant and handsome boyfriend..."

I am indeed!... Did I just squeeze her hand?! Oh boy... But when she says nice things like that!

"... Furthermore, I just want to feel connected to you. And holding hands kind of does that."

"How? I think that the superiority of our brains connects us. I mean, that is what makes us fitting for each other above everything else. We are intellectually compatible like no other couple I know, which makes us clearly the best of them all. They even admitted that too!"

Amy and I have undoubtedly the best relationship. We are perfect for each other in everything relevant. We have an overwhelming high score in a reliable scientific test that proves it. A test that none of the others dared to take!

"Who did when admit what?"

"Not explicitly. However, neither Penny and Leonard nor Howard and Bernadette took the test. Raj and Emily also didn't. _Obviously_ because they knew they'll never score as high as we did."

"Yes, that's true. I can't even imagine having to dumb down like Bernadette has to, or to be with someone who has nothing in common with me like Penny... I don't really know yet what to think of Emily and Rajesh. She doesn't like Penny, which is a mystery to me... But I guess I would hate every woman you hooked up with too."

Yeah, I would hate every man too...

"... I would _even_ hate Penny then."

PENNY?! That's so- Ugh!

"Don't say things like that!"

"Sorry!"

She better be! Leonard told me about the hideous story she told at their Christmas party when I was in Texas. About what could've happened if Leonard wouldn't have moved in with me, and I wouldn't have met Amy... What a sad thought... I was shocked, that Amy would even have such an idea! Well, she didn't say, that _I_ would be interested in any funny business, only that _Penny_ would be trying to see my bathing suit area. Which would be perfectly possible. I'm charming and my overall delightful personality is simply impossible to resist. It's really a good thing, that Leonard moved in... What were we talking about?... Oh yes, the hand holding. Which, as it just got proven, is unnecessary.

"So you see. We don't need to hold hands."

"Maybe not, but I still want to anyway."

"Of course you do."

All I hear are the disturbing sounds from birds. I still find them scary. And even worse is, that I can't see them. They could be huge! Just waiting for the opportunity to attack us... Her hand is getting sweaty again. I don't know why. She usually doesn't have sweaty hands. I don't want to let go of her though. She must be scared too. She doesn't mind birds, but it's getting darker and this place is just awful... I _am_ the man here and I will take care of my girlfriend, even if that means to hold on to her sweaty hand!

"I also like it, because I always like it when we touch each other."

"I know. You made it more than once _very_ clear that you like touching."

She did. Many, many, many times. And I made it clear that I don't. Many, many, many times... I honestly find touching generally overrated. What's the point? For example: Why would anyone in their right mind think, that it's a good idea to shake hands with strangers?! God knows, where their hands have been before! And don't get me started on hugging! Since when is it okay to hug people when they greet each other? I don't even know what's worse, the handshaking or hugging. The Japanese have the appropriate way of greeting each other. Just a respectful bow and no unsanitary and uncomfortable touching of any kind. But our society is obsessed with body contact. Handshaking, hugging, and oh! The worst! Kissing the cheeks! What are we? French?!... Anyhow. I doubt that this is the kind of touching Amy is talking about... The kind she means is even more unsettling. I don't like talking about that. I don't even like thinking about that... I prefer doing it... I mean, we already kiss and cuddle _all the time! _No need to dwell on what we don't do... Won't do... Shouldn't do... Can't do... _Whatever_... Are we done now with that unpleasant topic?

"But you don't like touching."

_Lately_ though... If I'm completely honest with myself... No! Better not be honest with myself. Nothing good comes ever out of it. It always brings things to the surface which I prefer to stay hidden in the depths of my subconscious... Where these things belong!... But _if_ I'm honest... I don't really know what changed. Probably it's the kissing... Oh, the kissing!... I don't know what's going on with me. At times it takes all my self effacement not to just grab her and kiss her like they do in these stupid and boring movies... _Romance_ movies... It _is_ tedious... But what would that be like? What would that feel like?

"Not that much, no. But..."

I feel something in my belly... A tingling... The metaphorical butterflies again... _What would it feel like?_

"But what?"

What happened to her voice? She looks nice in the twilight... How lucky I am that the only person as smart as me is also the prettiest I have ever seen...

"But... But lately, l find..."

Her lips are so soft. How I love that... More... More... She turns her head a little, or am I? It's better... _So much better_... Deeper... I want to feel her closer... What's that? Oh yes, the first aid kit hitting the ground... Oh God! I can feel her. Ohhh, her _breasts _touching my chest. Awesome!... I feel her heartbeat... Or is it mine?... Hammering... I love it when she grabs my arms to hold on to me. She's squeezing tight, but I don't mind. I really don't... This is amazing!... My hand on her waist... Her skin under all these layers... What is happening here?... Oh!... OH!... Her lip between mine and I just suck a little on it... I think I hear myself moan... _Closer_... I want her to be _closer_... I need air but I won't stop... Her breathing changed... _Erratic_... Her hand grasping my neck... I don't mind that either... Her lips are parted a bit... Hmmm. _Maybe_ I should... This is so wonderful... This is so like nothing I ever felt bef- _What is happening?! _Oh dear Lord! NO! _Get away from her! _She cannot _feel_ what is happening!

"Sheldon?"

I can't speak, I need to control my breathing, I need to stop looking at her and I _seriously_ need to think of something _really_ repellent! Right NOW!

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading! :)<strong>


	4. Boundaries Not To Cross

**Chapter 4 - Boundaries Not To Cross**

**Amy**

He's not answering, instead he turns away from me now and just stands there. Still breathing too fast. But so am I from that incredible kiss. Now though, an unsettling feeling creeps up. Why is he like that?

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?"

Did he just snort? Like I'm being... I don't know... Stupid?... What is happening? One second he's kissing and holding me like never before, and the next he's pushing me away. Very much like the "old" Sheldon would do... In my head, I started to call pre-train-trip-Sheldon the "old" one, because at times I think, a new, and to be honest, improved version of him returned to me. Still Sheldon, but better. Of course I'm not going to tell him that. I'm not sure, if he's really aware of how different he is now. At least sometimes. It's not that I fear it all the time, but nevertheless I think it's still possible, that he might freak out once again and what then? This time, he might never come back. And moments like now, show me that I'm right. What is going on in his head? Why doesn't he just talk to me? He's still standing with his back to me, his head bend down, and apparently trying to control his breathing. Inhaling and exhaling deeply... What's so captivating there that he keeps looking to the ground? It's way to dark to see anything anyway. I wish he would look at me!

"Sheldon, don't be like that."

After a few more breaths, he finally turns around. He does seem to be a little calmer now... Good for _him_, but _I'm_ not calm at all!

"How am I?"

"Distant."

"I don't know what you mean."

"You can't kiss me like that and then push me away like you're... disgusted or something!"

Did he just roll his eyes?! Ass!

"I didn't push you away. And I most certainly don't find you disgusting. I just stopped kissing you."

His voice is back to normal. The annoyed version that is. ASS!

"Why?"

"We can't stay here kissing all night. We have to find a way out of here."

_Please!_ And why do it then in the first place?!

"I know, that's not it. You stared at me... like... like you're shocked about what you did."

"I'm not shocked."

"You're sure? Because it sure as hell looked like it."

"Yes, I am sure... Can we go now?"

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because I want to know, what's going on with you."

"Nothing is going on. Come on, we need to keep moving."

"No!"

"Amy! Please. You're making a fuss about nothing!"

Excuse me?!

"I am not! Just tell me what it is."

"NOTHING!"

"Sheldon! Do you regret it?"

He's not answering. Of course not. This is the most unpleasant topic for him. But I won't let this go... Even though I have to admit, I fear his answer. What, if he does?

"No."

Oh thank God! THANK GOD!

"Good. I'm happy to hear that. Let's go then."

We're picking up the blanket and the first aid kit and continue walking... And walking... We already reached the first crossing. So far, nothing came up that would indicate that we're getting closer to the exit of the forest... Hmmm... But he knows the way. I'm sure... Back to important topics. I would really like to know, what exactly it was that upset him so much. The greatness of the kiss? That I would completely understand. It was perfect... No, to be honest, it was _almost_ perfect... I really, _really_ want to know how french kissing would be like... But I don't dare to do it. The germs and such... He read that article in "Microbiome" at Howard and Bernadette's a few months ago. It was about a microbiological study from the "Amsterdam Institute for Molecules, Medicine and Systems". They researched how many bacterias are exchanged during kissing. The extremely unfortunate result was: A lot. Really a lot! After that he noticeably tensed up before he gave me a very chaste and quick goodnight kiss. For a few weeks, I worried that this is how it's going to be from now on. Thankfully though, it just seemed to be a phase and he forgot (I know, I know, he doesn't forget anything!) or chose to ignore this knowledge about the bacterias and we were back at having wonderful long and exciting kisses. Not as exciting as the one tonight though... I wonder, if he found it equally exciting.

"Did you like the kiss then?"

"Let it go, Amy."

"No."

"Argh! Ok. I liked it."

Of course he did! Why I even doubted it, is beyond me. He loves kissing me! Also, he would've stopped much sooner otherwise. Sheldon doesn't do what Sheldon doesn't like... Hmmm... Moreover, isn't this a wonderful opportunity to make some much needed permanent changes in general?

"It was different from the kisses before."

"I noticed."

"Will we do that again?"

"On date night."

"But tonight isn't date night."

He breathes in and lets out a deep sigh... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know! How "unfair" of me to point out the obvious...

"I know... We're going to change the agreement again, aren't we?"

You bet your cute butt, my cuddly sweet baboo...

"Yes, we are."

His thoughts are written all over his face. He's blaming himself. Wondering why he did it and why he deserves to be "punished" like that for another "weak" moment... He always does... But I don't care, because if I would, we would _never_ go _anywhere_...

"Ok. I agree to add kissing at _any time _to the agreement under the following terms."

"I'm listening."

"Not in front of others."

"We already kissed in front of Penny and Leonard and also-"

"Just because it happened once or twice, doesn't mean it _should_ all the time. There are boundaries, Amy! And kissing in public most certainly is one that shouldn't be crossed!... That often..."

Ah! Here we go again with the "boundaries not to cross anytime soon"... His personal mantra...

"Ok. What else?"

"There needs to be an appropriate distance between us."

"What's appropriate?"

"_Appropriate_, Amy."

He said that, like it's the most obvious thing. How am I supposed to know, what he finds appropriate these days?

"You have to be more specific."

"Oh Amy! Really?!"

"Yes, _really!"_

"Ok, no touching of ... uhm... certain areas..."

"What areas?"

Ohhhh! I get it! I'm amazingly slow sometimes... So, this is what this is about. Sheldon _liked_ it!... Uh oh, that makes me want to grab him and kiss him like he's never been kissed before... Again!

"Uhm... You know, specific body parts that are very, _very_ private... Boundaries not to cross anytime soon!"

"I understand and I agree... Sooo you _liked _it, huh?"

"Stop grinning like that. It's _not_ funny."

"No, it's _hot_. Do you want to kiss again?"

"Amy! Get a hold of yourself! Remember where we are!"

"Alright, alright."

This turns out to be one of the best nights of my life... I really hope, we're going to survive this, otherwise it would really suck not to be able to enjoy the new "kissing whenever we want to"- policy. It's a whole new world I'm living in!... I don't believe that he got an erection. Hoo! Just from kissing? Has that happened before? Oh my! That would explain the safe distance he always kept... No. It didn't. He was apparently completely taken by surprise himself... Wow. I'm turned on just by the thought of him being turned on... _Seriously Fowler, get a hold of yourself!_... Alright, alright...

We're still walking... And walking... And walking... Fifteen minutes or so ago we reached the second crossing, and took the direction as he said we should. Still, nothing _remotely_ civilized showed up. Does he really know the way?

"Sheldon, do you really know where we're going?"

"Yeees."

No, he doesn't!

"Sheldon! Tell the truth!"

"I _think_ I know, but I'm not entirely sure."

What now? It's almost night and I'm so hungry... Around us are only trees. As far as I can see only more trees... How did we get here? Why were we driving on a paths that clearly are no proper streets... He was talking and talking and barking orders where I should turn and I did. I just followed his instructions without question... I'm an idiot. I knew he wasn't really paying attention to the surroundings and just because he annoyed me with his whole "know it all"-attitude I wanted us to get lost... Yes, I have to admit, I did. I wanted to show him that he _doesn't _know it all, and that even the great Sheldon Cooper can get lost... But I didn't check on the gas. So, this is all on me, if I'm honest... I better do _not_ confess that... Am I a bad girlfriend? I know how Sheldon is and shouldn't I be more patient?... But I am... _Mostly_... Ah, better not to dwell on it now. I can't change it anyway. When we get out of here, I'm going to make up for it. I'll do something really nice for him...

"Wait."

Sheldon grabs my arm, forcing me to stop. He's looking around and after a few moments smile appears on his face... That's reassuring... I think... I hope...

"I _know_ where we are."

"You do?"

"Yes. If we go a little bit through the woods in that direction then we will reach the street faster."

What?! Going through the forest?!

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"We would be leaving the little path here and go through the wild basically."

"Yes, but not for long."

"Sheldon. If that is the wrong way, we'll be even more lost than before. _Are you sure?"_

"I am. It's gonna be alright. Trust me."

Even after all these years, Sheldon's still capable of astounding me... Will that ever stop?... He looks surprisingly determined and not as scared as he should... I mean, walking into the forest?! I'm not so sure about that. And I don't fear even half of the things that are probably in there as much as he does!... However, I have no better idea.

"Ok. Let's go."

He inhales a few times and makes a few steps into the forest... Really, _how_ uncharacteristically brave of him. But it's also quite exciting to see him walking into the unknown _on purpose_. He mumbles something about the tedious bushes that surround us now. I just hope, he's right and this really is the shortcut to the street... I shouldn't doubt him. He would never lead us in here if he wouldn't be sure... He stops suddenly, looks back at me and reaches out his hand.

"Take my hand, Amy... For safety."

"Again?"

"Yes, again."

That is so sweet!

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me. I just want to make it easier for you to walk here."

"You're such a gentleman."

I can't help it, but that makes me giggle... I don't really know why, but something is it with him here that I find very attractive... Or maybe it's just the knowledge that he got a hard-on from kissing me...

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No! I like it."

"Good."

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

I really need to stop looking at her. It's not helping at all with the unacceptable situation I'm in... I don't believe it! How could that-

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?"

What a stupid question! I won't answer that... Go away already! Okay, I'm in the woods. All I see in front of me is the darkness of the forest. That itself should solve the problem down _there_... Yet, it doesn't... I still feel her soft lips on mine... Her taste... Her boobs pressed on my chest... Ugh! This so isn't helping either!... Okay now. Concentration! It's _frighteningly_ dark, in the _forest_, with _birds_ and probably- no, _surely_ other dangerous animals in it...

"Sheldon, don't be like that."

Jesus! Didn't you listen you stupid thing down there?!... It's _nightmarish_ dark here, in the _deathly_ forest, with countless _huge_ and- Yes! That's working. I can breath normally again and there! _It's _gone... What a relief! I need to keep my distance from now on. No more holding hands!... It should be save to look at her again... I hope... Why is she looking so serious? Didn't she like the kiss?... Nah, can't be!

"How am I?"

"Distant."

"I don't know what you mean."

"You can't kiss me like that and then push me away like you're... disgusted or something!"

Again with the stupid assumptions! Disgusted?! How can she possibly think that? And I didn't _push_ her away. I just stepped away from a situation that... I don't even know where it would have ended if I didn't... And I don't want to!

"I didn't push you away. And I most certainly don't find you disgusting. I just stopped kissing you."

"Why?"

Isn't it obvious?

"We can't stay here kissing all night. We have to find a way out of here."

"I know, that's not it. You stared at me... like... like you're shocked about what you did."

Pfft! Shocked? I'm not.

"I'm not shocked."

"You're sure? Because it sure as hell looked like it."

"Yes, I am sure..."

I'm really surprised that it happened so easily. Only from a little kissing? That _never_ happened before... Better not to think about that now... Or ever again!

"Can we go now?"

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because I want to know, what's going on with you."

"Nothing is going on. Come on, we need to keep moving."

"No!"

"Amy! Please. You're making a fuss about nothing!"

I wish it would be "nothing"! But I really don't want to talk about _that_. There are limits! Boundaries!

"I am not! Just tell me what it is."

"NOTHING!"

"Sheldon! Do you regret it?"

She does look upset now. I know _that_ facial expression very well... Too well... Do I regret it?...

"No."

Her face softens instantly... At least something. I don't want her to be mad at me... Again... Can we go now already? This is the _most_ unpleasant topic!

"Good. I'm happy to hear that. Let's go then."

Yes, let's get away from here! We pick up our stuff and continue walking... And walking... And walking... We already left the first crossing behind us. It can't be that long now until we reach the exit... I wish, the scenery wouldn't look so monotonous... Either way, this is the right path out of this godforsaken death hole!... Sooo, that kiss was interesting... She feels so good... No! Don't think about that. God forbids, that might wake up little Dr. Cooper again... How disappointing that is. I have to acknowledge that the times where I could trust to have control over my body functions have ultimately passed... I should also ask my mother about that test again, that supposedly proved that I'm not crazy. If that would be so, why did I actually consider putting my tongue into her mouth?! What's even more disturbing, is that I want to do it even after I read this unsettling article in that magazine about the exchange of bacteria during kissing. What is wrong with me? Now I'm willing to risk my health just to get "some action", as Howard and Raj put it so "eloquently"?... And not to mention the room sharing idea I had. Where did that come from?... What is happening to me?... Well, I better just think about something else now... Something less-

"Did you like the kiss then?"

But she won't let me... Of course not...

"Let it go, Amy."

"No."

"Argh! Ok. I liked it."

Please, be happy now! Do _not_ go further into this! Please, please, please!

"It was different from the kisses before."

No. She isn't finished yet... _Of course not..._

"I noticed."

"Will we do that again?"

I will not give in! I will NOT give in! This hippy dippy displaying of feelings and stuff ends here! _Right here!_

"On date night."

"But tonight isn't date night."

I will give in... I'm such a weak man... Just look at her... Smiling bright, eyes shiny, knowing perfectly well that she has me trapped...

"I know... We're going to change the agreement again, aren't we?"

"Yes, we are."

I have only myself to blame. Why did I kiss her tonight? Like _that?_ _Why, oh why _do I deserve to be punished by that vixen who holds me under her spell, whom I can't resist anymore, who makes me pay for _every_ tiny weak moment?... Although, on the plus side, I'm going to kiss her _whenever_ I want to... But there should be limits... _Boundaries not to cross..._

"Ok. I agree to add kissing at any time to the agreement under the following terms."

"I'm listening."

"Not in front of others."

"We already kissed in front of Penny and Leonard and also-"

"Just because it happened once or twice, doesn't mean it _should_ all the time. There are boundaries, Amy! And kissing in public most certainly is one that shouldn't be crossed!"

_Well..._

"That often..."

"Ok. What else?"

"There needs to be an appropriate distance between us."

"What's appropriate?"

"_Appropriate_, Amy."

She does know how the male body functions, doesn't she?

"You have to be more specific."

"Oh Amy! Really?!"

"Yes, _really_!"

"Ok, no touching of ... uhm... certain areas..."

"What areas?"

She's amazingly slow sometimes... Or maybe she really doesn't know about that... No, that can't be. Her best friend is Penny and she most certainly knows way too much about it.

"Uhm... You know, specific body parts that are very, _very_ private... Boundaries not to cross anytime soon!"

"I understand and I agree... Sooo you _liked _it, huh?"

What's so funny about it? Her stupid grin is highly inappropriate! She should know, that I am really not very pleased with myself and that betraying body of mine.

"Stop grinning like that. It's _not_ funny."

"No, it's _hot_. Do you want to kiss again?"

Uhm... But no! No, no, no! _Seriously Cooper, get a hold of yourself!_

"Amy! Get a hold of yourself! Remember where we are!"

"Alright, alright."

This turns out to be one of the most unpleasant nights of my life... Not only are we lost in an extreme unfriendly environment, most likely to die in here, and now of all things, I have to realize that apparently I'm no better than any other ordinary man on this planet... So much for being a Homo Novus... Although, if I'm honest (Again? What _is_ up with me?)... _If_ I'm honest, it's really not _that_ surprising. I kind of suspected that much when I asked her to be my girlfriend. If I really wouldn't care, I wouldn't have minded if she dates Stuart or someone else. I wouldn't have minded if she would have interc-... Ugh, no. I don't even want to think that... But I did mind... A lot... So this is basically just the continuance of what I started that night in the movie theater... I just didn't think it would move forward _so_ fast!

"Sheldon, do you really know where we're going?"

Huh? What? Oh...

"Yeees."

"Sheldon! Tell the truth!"

"I _think_ I know, but I'm not entirely sure."

What now? I need to concentrate on what's _really_ important here... How did we get here? Why were we driving on a paths that clearly are not made for cars, I still have no idea... Hmmm...

"Wait."

This particular area looks familiar... Yes, we've been here before after we turned twice and if we would go straight through that part of the woods over there...

"I _know_ where we are."

"You do?"

"Yes. If we go a little bit through the woods in that direction then we will reach the street faster."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"We would be leaving the little path here and go through the wild basically."

"Yes, but not for long."

She looks uncertain and I can't blame her. I'm a bit astounded by myself. Anyhow, I know this is the shortest way out of this horrible place. And doesn't people say so often, that things have to get worse before they can get better? I usually find that ridiculous, but it might be fitting for the situation here.

"Sheldon. If that is the wrong way, we'll be even more lost than before. _Are you sure?"_

"I am. It's gonna be alright. Trust me."

"Ok. Let's go."

I should lead the way... Ugh, these bushes are vexatious! It's really pretty dark now... What am I doing here? Am I out of my mind?! Walking straight into the forest?! But it is a shortcut, I am sure!... I can hear Amy behind me... That doesn't feel right. What if she stumbles and falls? It would only be the gentlemanly way to help her going through this uncomfortable area... The least I should do is to hold her hand... Again... But _only_ for safety!... Again...

"Take my hand, Amy... For safety."

"Again?"

"Yes, again."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me. I just want to make it easier for you to walk here."

"You're such a gentleman."

She giggles... Why now?!

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No! I like it."

"Good."

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading :)<strong>


	5. Aren't We Adults?

**Chapter 5 - Aren't We Adults?  
><strong>

**Amy**

The forest got thick pretty fast. Sheldon still has my hand clutched tightly in his, and it really does make me feel safer. We hardly come forward, and we're not talking because we're too busy with walking without falling. He's right, it _is _tedious!... Hmmm. He said we'd be in here just for a short while... What's short? We're in here at least for half an hour... Was this really such a good idea?

"Maybe we should go back, Sheldon. It's so dark in here and we are so slow. How long do you think this will take?"

"I estimated 25 minutes. But I didn't think that this area would be so jungle like."

"So should we go back?"

"I don't know... We're already in here for 40 minutes and going back would take another 40 minutes... So I think we should continue this way."

"Ok... As long as you're still sure that this is the right way..."

He turns around to look at me. From what I can make out in the dark, he's not pleased with my doubting undertone. I can't help it! This here just seems so wrong. I feel so out of place, that I can't stop wondering if this wasn't a mistake. But on the other hand, I have to remind myself that Sheldon would never go further if he wouldn't be sure.

"You're right, Sheldon. We would loose too much time."

So we keep walking. Stepping over woods and stones and God knows what. It's really pretty dark now, although the moon already shines. How I wish I'd have my flashlight. The birds are sleeping now. That's good, otherwise Sheldon would never be this calm... I wonder what he's thinking now.

"What are you thinking?"

"About what?"

"In general. What are you thinking about right now."

"I'm thinking about Leonard and Penny."

"Why?"

"They haven't set a date yet for their wedding."

"I know. Does that bother you?"

"No. I don't care about that. What I do care about is if they want to move in together before they get married or after."

"So you're really thinking about your living condition?"

"Yes."

I so have to be careful! That is one sensitive topic. First, I have learned my lesson last May, when he brought that up and disappeared for over a month afterwards. I _won't _mention cohabiting! And second, he finds the prospect of looking for a new place highly unnerving. He has somewhat accepted, that he has to move out of his apartment so that Penny and Leonard can live there. The easiest would be of course, to switch places with Penny. But somehow he's not thrilled about that either. Why, I don't know. It would be as close as it gets to Leonard... And his spot...

"Well, I'm sure you'll be fine on your own."

"Yes, I will be. But what if Leonard and I live too far away from each other?"

"What would be the problem if you would?"

"Who's going to drive me to work?"

Ah. So this is what's troubling him. Who will take care of him and his needs when Leonard isn't available anymore. I would, _happily_... But not if he doesn't want to live with me... Whoops! I really have to get over the whole living with Sheldon idea.

"You'll have to take the bus, I guess."

"I don't like the bus."

"I know, but the other alternative is walking."

"I like that even less."

"I know."

"You could drive me..."

And here we go... But I will stay strong! Thankfully it's too dark to see his puppy face clearly.

"You want me to drive over _every day _to _chauffeur_ you to work?"

"We could put it in the agreement."

"No!"

"No?"

"No. You're not using me as your driver like you do with Leonard."

"You have driven me before to work, what's the problem now?"

His tone makes it clear that he really doesn't understand my point. He's _so_ selfish and at the same time _so_ clueless about it.

"There's a difference between doing it once in a while or every day."

"What's the difference?"

"Sheldon..."

"No, I want to know. Why wouldn't you drive me?"

"I am not replacing Leonard. I am your _girlfriend_, not your personal _caretaker_."

Uh oh, that sounded a little harsh. I _really_ do need to get over this!

"That's mean."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"What are you so bitchy about?"

"I don't know..."

"Amy?"

Oh what the hell. He asked!

"I still don't know, why you reacted so extreme before you left, when I just _suggested_ that I could be your roommate if things doesn't work out with living alone."

"Not that again."

"You wanted to know and I'm just honest. Besides, I'm not asking you _now_ to move in together, and I _never_ will again. So you can relax."

"I am relaxed... Under these circumstances we're currently in."

"Good."

This topic really annoys me. All I want is to share my life with Sheldon. To go home and to talk about each other's days at work, to eat dinner together, to watch TV. We already do that to a certain degree, but mostly via Skype.

"You on the other hand don't seem to be relaxed. Why?"

"This issue bothers me."

"Why? Because I don't want to move in with you?"

"Because you made it perfectly clear that you'll _never_ want to"

"I never said 'never'."

"No, but what you said meant obviously the same either way... I don't know Sheldon. All I do know is, that I don't want to be yelled at by you just because the topic pops up, and you can't handle it."

"I can handle it. Obviously, we're talking about it _right now._"

"No, we're talking about who's going to drive you to work."

He gets quiet and keeps walking... Sometimes I really wish I could connect his brain to a computer which would allow me to read his thoughts. I mean, was that it? Has he something more to say? Will we continue to ignore the topic for the next undetermined time?... Here's the thing, even with our new "Disclosure of Feelings" rule in our agreement, he also managed to avoid talking about that specific issue. He insisted that everything that occurred in the past is excluded from the paragraph. I had to agree, because I was already getting everything else I wanted, and had to give him at least one win. And since then, whenever the topic of his pending move came up, we carefully steered clear of the cohabitation "controversy". So my point is, that I _still_ don't know what his problem is in regards to us living together. I would be the perf-

"I am sorry that I yelled at you that day."

Oh! That's unexpected. He doesn't apologize a lot so he must feel really bad. Even after all these months?... Awww, that's so cute!... And if I'm honest, I really shouldn't have brought it up that day last May to begin with.

"It's alright. I know my timing wasn't the best..."

"No, it wasn't. However, I shouldn't have said what I did... But I am not ready to live with you."

"But why?"

"Amy..."

He sounds pleading... And a bit afraid. Probably because he fears that we will fight again. But I don't want to fight. I just want to know, what his problem is. It should be possible to talk about that in a rational and grown up way, right? I mean, we are adults!... We are!

"No, it's ok that you aren't, but I just don't understand what the big deal is. I _clearly_ would be a more fitting roommate than Leonard."

"But you're not Leonard."

"No. I'm better."

"Yes, you are. That's not the point."

"What is the point then?"

"You're _not_ Leonard."

I always thought, that would be pretty obvious...

"I think we established that."

"So, you understand?"

I just don't know what he's trying to say here. He's puzzling me.

"No. I'm not Leonard, but what does that mean? What's the difference if he gets your dinner or if I do? What's the difference if he drives you around or if I do? What's the difference if he sleeps next door or if I do?"

"Amy..."

Still pleading. But what exactly is his point here? What can be so upsetting about living with me, that he wouldn't just say it?

"No, please tell me."

"Do I really have to spell out the obvious?!"

The obvious?! He sounds like I should "clearly" know what he means... Am I missing something here?

"Apparently."

"Fine! It's because, you are not _like_ Leonard. You're not my _friend_. You're my _girlfriend_."

Huh?... This is getting ridiculous.

"So?"

"What's there not to understand?"

"Uhm... Basically all of it."

"Ok, here you go. Leonard is my friend and even though I do have feelings for him they're not the same I have for you... Because you are my _girlfriend_... _Obviously_."

Huh? I know he loves me, so that's not it... What feelings is he talking about?... Hmmm... Curious and curiouser... Oh! The eye tick!... Can that even be?... Sure it can. He's already a nervous mess just with me standing "too" close to his bedroom. Ohohohhh! So does that mean, he's actually considering-

"Amy? Why do you smile now? Nothing here justifies smiling, and I don't only mean the surrounding but also this conversation."

I ignore that... He just said something very interesting... Extremely interesting in fact! Was this his problem all along?

"Uhm... Just to be clear: You don't want to live with me because... uhm... Because our bedrooms would be too close?"

"I don't know why you're always so eager to get into my bedroom!"

What? When?

"What are you talking about? I haven't been in your bedroom for months."

He keeps quiet... How intriguing!

"So, these _different_ feelings you have for me, are they-"

"I'm not going to discuss this with you now."

"Why? You know per the agreement you are bound-"

"But you're not upset, so there's no need-"

"But you are upset, so-"

"I'm not upset!"

"You are!"

"I'm not!"

"You-"

"Amy! Enough of that now."

"Ok!"

He doesn't have to answer, his whole behavior is telling enough... I should've known. How could I not see this? Am I that self centered that I really only considered my own wishes and fears about living and dying alone? He did say on "Prom Night" that he feels pressured about "mating". And apparently he meant it for real and not like I thought, just the general idea. Does he actually think about doing it? Ohhh... Although! I really shouldn't get ahead of myself. Just because he's thinking about coitus doesn't mean he really wants to do it. Actually, it doesn't mean anything. He could still think that it's "ridiculous and off-putting"... On the other hand, he did tell Penny that he wouldn't mind catching my eggs if I'd shoot them into space. I didn't quite understand, but Penny was very excited when she told me. Somehow she believes, that it was Sheldon's way of admitting, that he wants to engage in intercourse with me... I'm not so sure though. The topic never came up afterwards... Who knows what's going on in his-

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

"What?!"

He stopped in his tracks, and stares up to a tree with his eyes wide open in shock... What's up there that freaks him out so much?... Oh, I hear it!... And there it is: An owl looking down at us with glittering big eyes... Beautiful creatures... OH DAMN! The bird just spread his wings and- _What is happening?!_

"Sheldon!"

He just tightened his grip on my hand and started to run away!

"Come faster Amy!"

"Stop Sheldon!"

But he keeps running... And running... I didn't know he could be this fast! I can hardly follow him while he keeps jumping over hindrances and just drags me with him. I'll fall down and get hurt for sure! And he pulls too much at my arm!

"Sheldon! You're hurting me! Slow down!"

He does but obviously only very reluctantly.

"Have you seen it? It was HUGE!"

"It was just an owl."

"You don't know that."

"Of course I do. I saw it and I heard it."

He's still walking too fast and I don't know where he leads me. His hand clutches mine so hard as if his life would depend on it. I can't bring myself to ask him to let go or at least loosen his grip a little... We took a few turns. Did he even notice that?!

"Sheldon. Stop!"

He does and looks at me still with an agitated expression on his face. He's breathing fast from the running but probably also from fear.

"What Amy? We need to get going!"

"Are you sure that we're still on track?"

"Uhm..."

"Oh Sheldon! You led us further into the forest because of a tiny owl!"

"It wasn't TINY!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

This is such a nuisance! We hardly come forward, trees and bushes and stones and wood everywhere! I don't believe I'm here! I don't believe I'm walking through a forest in the darkness without completely freaking out... I am so brave!... Although, holding Amy's hand is quite pleasant, makes me feel comforted... Safe... I know from now on we're going to hold hands _constantly_... But her hand isn't sweaty right now. Not like before. It's only warm and soft... Maybe it's not such a bad thing after all?

"Maybe we should go back, Sheldon. It's so dark in here and we are so slow. How long do you think this will take?"

"I estimated 25 minutes. But I didn't think that this area would be so jungle like."

"So should we go back?"

"I don't know... We're already in here for 40 minutes and going back would take another 40 minutes... So I think we should continue this way."

"Ok... As long as you're still sure that this is the right way..."

Why does she keep doubting me? It makes me feel uncertain. Am I leading us into our doom?... Oh God! What was I thinking?!... I'm already so tired and can it be, that I misjudged the situation? Maybe we should go back?... No, no, no! I am right! _Seriously Cooper, have a little faith in yourself! When was the last time you were wrong about something?... _Good point. The last of these very rare occasions is so long ago, I don't even remember... so to speak.

"You're right, Sheldon. We would loose too much time."

Yes, of course I'm right. All is good!... So we keep walking... At least we seem to have a full moon. I wish we'd have a flashlight though... Although, better not to draw attention to us... It's remarkable quiet in here... Like nothing's alive... Probably sleeping... But I know there are night active animals... Oh, no! Don't think about that! Think about something completely unrelated... An equation to solve maybe... Leonard hasn't mentioned moving in with Penny for some time now. I'm sure though, they're planning it. But before or after their wedding? They haven't set a date yet... _Typical._ Why does _no one _see the importance of a carefully planned schedule? If I would get engaged, I would- _Anyway,_ at some point in the not so distant future I have to look for a new place. I'm not particularly thrilled about that. I still don't understand, why people just assume that I have to give up _my_ apartment. Just because-

"What are you thinking?"

"About what?"

"In general. What are you thinking about right now."

"I'm thinking about Leonard and Penny."

"Why?"

"They haven't set a date yet for their wedding."

"I know. Does that bother you?"

"No. I don't care about that. What I do care about is if they want to move in together before they get married or after."

"So you're really thinking about your living condition?"

I so have to be careful! That is one sensitive topic! She will bring up cohabiting again for sure... I wish she would not...

"Yes."

"Well, I'm sure you'll be fine on your own."

"Yes, I will be. But what if Leonard and I live too far away from each other?"

"What would be the problem if you would?"

"Who's going to drive me to work?"

That would really be an inconvenience. It's so comfortable with Leonard driving me every day. But I'm not so sure, if he would agree to pick me up from wherever it'll be where I am going to live. With no Roommate Agreement in place anymore, I have no means to make him... What about a Friendship Agreement?... Hmmm... I somehow doubt that he'd be willing to sign it. He just loves living like a hippie with no proper regulations whatsoever... Tsk, tsk, tsk... So what do I do then?... Ah! Of course! Amy!

"You'll have to take the bus, I guess."

Ugh!

"I don't like the bus."

"I know, but the other alternative is walking."

She's kidding, right?!

"I like that even less."

"I know."

"You could drive me..."

That would be great! Driving with Amy is always so much more fun than with Leonard! And she should be delighted to drive me, shouldn't she?

"You want me to drive over _every day _to _chauffeur_ you to work?"

Didn't I just say that? We should also make it official. I love the Relationship Agreement, it so clearly defines our duties and responsibilities as boyfriend and girlfriend... Even though we amend it way too regularly for my liking... But still, driving duties should be included.

"We could put it in the agreement."

"No!"

What? No? _Why?_

"No?"

"No. You're not using me as your driver like you do with Leonard."

"You have driven me before to work, what's the problem now?"

I really don't understand her. Why doesn't she want to spend more time with me? She always wants to and suddenly it sounds like it's something that should be _avoided_? Whaaat?!

"There's a difference between doing it once in a while or every day."

"What's the difference?"

"Sheldon..."

"No, I want to know. Why wouldn't you drive me?"

"I am not replacing Leonard. I am your _girlfriend_, not your personal _caretaker_."

That sounded a little harsh. Why is she upset now? And what does she mean with "caretaker"? I don't need anyone to take care of me, I just don't want to take the bus or walk! Walk! _What_ a ridiculous idea!

"That's mean."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"What are you so bitchy about?"

"I don't know..."

"Amy?"

Do I really want to know? It will most certainly be about something I did, which I have no clue about, and _surely_ I'll have to apologize for it...

"I still don't know, why you reacted so extreme before you left, when I just _suggested_ that I could be your roommate if things doesn't work out with living alone."

I shouldn't have said something. I knew it! Stupid me!

"Not that again."

"You wanted to know and I'm just honest. Besides, I'm not asking you _now_ to move in together, and I _never_ will again. So you can relax."

Why would she think that I'm not? Just because we disagree on something? We do that all the time. About the value of exciting science fiction movies vs. boring chick flicks, thrilling and artsy comic books vs. torturous poems and romance novels, monkeys vs. cute koalas, physics vs. yucky squishy things, strawberry quick powder vs. syrup, the list goes on and on...

"I am relaxed... Under these circumstances we're currently in."

"Good."

"You on the other hand don't seem to be relaxed. Why?"

"This issue bothers me."

"Why? Because I don't want to move in with you?"

"Because you made it perfectly clear that you'll _never_ want to"

Did I say that? No. She should listen better... And why do I keep talking about that? I was lucky enough to get out of that conversation when we agreed on the new paragraph. Oh yes, that was a smart move from me to exclude everything from the past... Doesn't help me though, when I bring that up in the present!

"I never said 'never'."

Seriously?! I have to acknowledge that my mind and my mouth aren't cooperating properly. Ugh! This is just "perfect"! Nothing seems to follow my orders anymore. My mouth, little Dr. Cooper, my hand...

"No, but what you said meant obviously the same either way... I don't know Sheldon. All I do know is, that I don't want to be yelled at by you just because the topic pops up, and you can't handle it."

I don't like the way she said that. I am a grown up man after all!... I am!

"I can handle it. Obviously, we're talking about it _right now._"

"No, we're talking about who's going to drive you to work should Leonard move away."

Which I still haven't found an answer for... _If_ I'm honest, the last time she suggested moving in on that day last May when I got on the train, I didn't react appropriate. I kind of did yell at her and I shouldn't have. That's no way to speak to one's significant other.

"I am sorry that I yelled at you that day."

"It's alright. I know my timing wasn't the best..."

"No, it wasn't. However, I shouldn't have said what I did..."

And now we just change the topic. We're most likely going to fight about this again, and I really don't want to. What can I say, that would distract her from this topic?... Hmmm...

"But I am not ready to live with you."

I give up.

"But why?"

"Amy..."

"No, it's ok that you aren't, but I just don't understand what the big deal is. I clearly would be a more fitting roommate than Leonard."

"But you're not Leonard."

"No. I'm better."

"Yes, you are. That's not the point."

"What is the point then?"

"You're _not_ Leonard."

Surely she must understand the difference here?

"I think we established that."

"So, you understand?"

"No. I'm not Leonard, but what does that mean? What's the difference if he gets your dinner or if I do? What's the difference if he drives you around or if I do? What's the difference if he sleeps next door or if I do?"

Amy sleeping next door... Hmmm... No! No, no, no!... Why can't she just let it go already?!

"Amy..."

"No, please tell me."

She seriously doesn't get it! And now she's making me say it, because firstly, if I won't, she'll continue asking. And secondly, if I won't, she'll get all sorts of wrong ideas and I see more apologizing happening... I should have kept my mouth shut! Why do we always have to talk about our feelings and thoughts about _things,_ and in the end it's always _me_ admitting horrendous embarrassing details of my inner life?

"Do I really have to spell out the obvious?!"

"Apparently."

"Fine! It's because, you are not _like_ Leonard. You're not my _friend_. You're my _girlfriend_."

"So?"

Huh?

"What's there not to understand?"

"Uhm... Basically all of it."

Really?!

"Ok, here you go. Leonard is my friend and even though I do have feelings for him they're not the same I have for you... Because you are my _girlfriend_... _Obviously_."

These feelings are really annoying. I have them all the time. Even when she's not around. How am I supposed to make a scientific breakthrough when all I have in my head is Amy?... Amy, Amy, Amy... I don't even want to think about how it would be, if she'd be around the _whole_ time... Where did my self control go? I mean, now I'm getting that worked up just by a little kissing?! And what was I thinking agreeing to do that _whenever_ we want to?! I'll be walking around with a... uhm... "situation" _constantly_!... That can't be! I have things to do. Important things. I have to work on my composure... And why does she look so happy now?

"Amy? Why do you smile now? Nothing here justifies smiling, and I don't only mean the surrounding but also this conversation."

Sometimes she confuses me. One moment I think we're going to have a fight about our "favorite" topic, my feelings and commitment issues ("Cosmo" by the way. Interesting, albeit frightening, read when one wants to unravel the mysteries of the female mind... Although, I really should stop reading Penny's magazines. It's indeed quite unsettling what appears to be going on in these creatures... Luckily though, my Amy is nothing like these crazy persons... Usually at least...), and the next she's looking like she just found a treasure map leading to a bucket full of gold.

"Uhm... Just to be clear: You don't want to live with me because... uhm... Because our bedrooms would be too close?"

Doesn't she listen at all? And while we're at it:

"I don't know why you're always so eager to get into my bedroom!"

Really! _She_ has to work on her composure!

"What are you talking about? I haven't been in your bedroom for months."

Really? No, she's wrong. She was in my room just the other day!... No, wait. She wasn't. That was in that hideous dream I had again. The one that's responsible for way too many sleep deprived nights... Oh no! Don't think about that now!

"So, these _different_ feelings you have for me, are they-"

Oh hell no!

"I'm not going to discuss this with you now."

"Why? You know per the agreement you are bound-"

No. No. No.

"But you're not upset, so there's no need-"

"But you are upset, so-"

NO. NO. NO.

"I'm not upset!"

"You are!"

NOOOO!

"I'm not!"

"You-"

"Amy! Enough of that now."

"Ok!"

She still looks quite happy right now... Maybe I should tell her stuff more often... Why would I even think that? Ugh! Okay, let's not forget where we are. I should make sure that we keep on the right way, and I should take a closer look at our surroundings... Which just consists of trees, trees and more trees... Which defines a forest... _Oh, what a smart man you are, Dr. Cooper. Even able to recognize the most obvious things..._ What now? Sarcasm even in my head? When did that start?... However, it's not as bad as it could be. The moon provides sufficient light to see somewhat clearly where we're going. It's still quite warm, so we're not freezing to death tonight. That's something! We have water, but nothing to eat. So we better hurry up a bit, before she starts imagining me as a delicious steak or something. She gets so cranky when she's hungry. I guess the excitement over our situation supersedes her empty stomach. But who knows how long that'll last... It's still pretty quiet, no suspicious sounds to hear. That's reassuring... For the moment... Oh, the stars between the tree tops are quite pretty. And so many. You don't get to see that much in the city. Under different circumstances I would fi-

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

Oh no! A huge monstrous thing in that tree! Eying us as prey!

"What?!"

I knew it! It's opening its wings, getting ready to attack! _Run! RUN!_

"Sheldon!"

We have to save ourselves! It's following us! Oh please God, don't let us die now!

"Come faster Amy!"

"Stop Sheldon!"

Stop?! No! We need to get away from that... _killer bird!_

"Sheldon! You're hurting me! Slow down!"

Alright! But if we're going to be attacked, it's on her!

"Have you seen it? It was HUGE!"

"It was just an owl."

"You don't know that."

"Of course I do. I saw it and I heard it."

We need to keep moving!... "Just" an owl! Like that's supposed to calm me?! They eat prey!

"Sheldon. Stop!"

"What Amy? We need to get going!"

"Are you sure that we're still on track?"

Uhm...

"Uhm..."

"Oh Sheldon! You led us further into the forest because of a tiny owl!"

"It wasn't TINY!"

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading! :)<strong>

**I know that some of my cherished, but impatient, readers (you know who you are!) can't wait for things to heat up. And they will****, I promise. But this is an adventure story, so they have to "earn" the sexy times, so to speak, by overcoming obstacles and maybe even dangers. Like "surving" an "attack" from a "killer bird". I don't want to spoil you, but the next chapter's title is "To boldly go where no woman has gone before"... Where might that be? ;)  
><strong>

**Also, I'd like to thank you all for the reviews, follows, favs. I really wasn't sure, if I should post this story, being in two POVs and first person and such. But your positive feedback is really great and means a lot to me! Thanks so much!  
><strong>


	6. Boldly Go Where No Woman Has Gone Before

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, life's just very busy these days. I hope you'll like this chapter :)  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6 - To Boldly Go Where No Woman Has Gone Before<strong>

**Amy**

The owl was really small and cute... Poor thing. Sheldon must have scared it to death with his scream... And now we're even more lost. Ugh! What a colossal mess! Why am I burdened with a boyfriend who's afraid of _birds?..._ Oh well, at least he looks _sooo_ handsome! He always does, but now his face shines a little from sweat and his usual perfectly combed hair is a little bit disheveled. That's sexy. Very much so. Makes me want to run my hands through it... Hmmm. I also would like to repeat that awesome kiss... I _could_, since it's now allowed to do so... Well, it will be as soon as the paperwork is prepared... Would he mind?... Sure he would. He's upset and most certainly wouldn't appreciate a little fooling around... Although! Didn't we just escape an attack? Wouldn't that be a good reason to celebrate our survival with a kiss?... There he stands, still panting a bit and looking around, probably searching for other "killer birds"... He's right. This is not the place for kissing!... How very, _very_ annoyingly prudential of him... Let's see, if we can get out of this mess then at least.

"Can you find the way back?"

"I'm not going back there!"

"But do you know where we are now? How we find the street now?"

He keeps looking around... He has no idea.

"Sheldon. I know you don't have the slightest clue. So we have to decide in which direction we go from here on."

He looks a little embarrassed, just like he did before, when he first had to admit that we're lost. But this isn't about his hurt ego. This is about us finding a way back to civilization!

"So, I propose we go there."

I point to a path that seems somewhat easier to cross.

"I guess it's as good as any right now."

Without hesitation he takes my hand and starts to walk... Hmmm... About that kiss again... This might not be the right place, but _maybe_ it's the right time? I mean, who knows what other things we'll be faced with tonight? Who knows, if there'll be other- no, _real _dangers? Wouldn't it be so sad if we'd miss this, maybe _last,_ chance for a kiss?... Sure it'd be!

"What is it, Amy? Why aren't you coming?"

What to do now? We haven't really specified the parameters of this new kissing rule. Do I have to ask? Do I have to inform him beforehand? If so, how much prior? And how? A written request? An e-mail?... The lack of a clean set of behavioral rules is confusing me... Maybe I should just go for it. After all, that's what he did too earlier... He looks at me, waiting for an answer... Okay! I can do that! I can just kiss my boyfriend!... Maybe I should start with getting closer... But not too close! Let's not forget the appropriate boundaries.

"What are you doing?"

I stand in front of him and look up with what I hope is an enticing smile... He looks down, clearly confused... Hm. So much for being coquettish. I should work on that in front of a mirror... Anyway. I should also get a _little_ _more_ closer...

_"What are you doing?"_

"Isn't it obvious?"

I take the first aid kit away from him, put it on the ground and lay the blanket on it. No need to get it dirty... I hope we'll do something dirty instead. And for that I need my arms and hands, and I hope he will too...

"I don't think this is a good idea."

Funnily, he doesn't sound very convinced... Doesn't he?

"Just because it's not a good idea, doesn't mean it's not the _right_ one."

"That doesn't make-"

"Shut up, Sheldon."

I put my hands on his upper arms and get up a little on my tiptoes... I love how tall he is. Not like the other tiny guys. No, my Sheldon is one fine exemplar of a man... He just stands there watching me. But I think I see a hint of curiosity in his eyes. That's not so bad, is it? If I can get him at least a little responsive, I would count this as a success. And I know, he's probably still a little shaken from the very _hard_ response of the first-

"Why are you giggling now? We are in the woods and you think kissi-"

Blah, blah, blah! I press my mouth on his... Hmmm. Always so warm and soft... Come on Sheldon!... No. He isn't responding at all, instead he's still standing there with his arms hanging on his sides, and his mouth pressed thinly together... I guess, he's trying to make a point here... Well, try as you might Dr. Cooper, but I won't have it! You're going to kiss me back!... I slide my hands up to his shoulders for better support, and turn my head a bit to the side before I move my lips a little on his... Nothing... Geez! He's _one_ resistant mood killer... Just give in Sheldon!... I won't give up! I just have to step up my game... But what to do now?... If we're like this, there's no risk at all of him getting "too" excited, so no need to keep the "appropriate" distance. So I get as close as I can and wrap my arms around his back, and I seriously hope this wonderful embrace with full body contact will have the wanted effect... Ah! Finally a reaction!... Not the one I was hoping for though. He does have his hands on my waist now, but instead of taking me into his arms as well, he's trying to release himself from my grip. Taking a few tiny steps backwards and bending his head as if he wants to duck under my arms. I'm getting slightly annoyed here. Just kiss me you idiot!... Okay. I have to be really bold... Can I do that? Or will he freak out completely?... _Just do it!..._ Okay, okay. I will!... I am the bravest woman on this planet. If I survive, what I'm about to do, I deserve an award! A statue! A town named after me!... So _here_ it is... Oh God! Slowly and carefully I let the tip of my tongue graze his lips... Oh that's sending thrilli- He's inhaling sharply and I don't dare to move or to open my eyes. Is he very angry? I surely crossed some boundaries that weren't supposed to be crossed anytime soon... Interestingly, he doesn't move either... What does that mean? Is he too shocked?... Oh well, we can't stay like this forever, and when I open my eyes, he's already staring at me... Uh oh... I break the kiss at last and take a step back. I know, the new rule will get retracted effective immediately. Instead I'll get a lecture about germs, boundaries and whatnot... But why doesn't he start? Why does he keep staring at me like that? Maybe I should apologize right away and get it over with.

"Shel-"

OH! He captures my mouth with a force like _never_ before, and he wraps his arms around me... Holding me tightly, pressing me against his body and _oh yeah! _His lips part and I feel the tip of his tongue slowly, but kind of determined at the same time, sliding along my upper lip... Oh this is sooo good! My heartbeat has already accelerated to an alarming degree, and I feel my cheeks heating up fast. He keeps one arm around my back, clasping me to him, while I feel his other hand traveling up my spine until it finds my neck and holds me in a firm grip... I hear myself moan, giving him an opening and oh my goodness! His tongue in my mouth!... Tentatively exploring... I feel a tiny explosion in my groins, when our tongues touch for the first time... I'm getting hotter everywhere... The sounds he makes... OH-MY-GOOOD! He's taking full advantage now... His tongue stroking mine... Over and over and _over_ again... Oh! I think, I'm starting to have a moist situation down there... Uncomf- What?! Is his hand on my butt?! Squeezing?! When did it get there?... His breathing is ragged, and ohhh! Is this his belt I'm feeling, _or- _He breaks the kiss and just like the last time, he instantly takes a step back. But now, he doesn't turn away from me. We keep standing there in the middle of the dark forest, trying to catch some much needed air, and looking at each other... He's not going to freak out now, is he?... _I_ suddenly feel like freaking out though... I don't know what to think of this. What to feel... It was undoubtedly sensational, but at the same time really a lot to take in... I feel extremely aroused, and surprisingly, I'm not sure if I like that... I can't look at him anymore. I need to evaluate this more thoroughly... Later. When my brain, and heart, and legs function properly again... I bend down and pick up the blanket and hand him the first aid kit.

"We should go now, Sheldon."

"Ok."

I just want to walk for a while and not think... At all... I'm taking his hand and we continue our way... One step, two steps, three steps... His breathing calmed down, which is good... Is he still afraid of the birds here or did our "celebratory" kiss distract him from it?... I really believed he got over his fear of birds after the incident in his apartment a few years ago. But obviously he just got attached to this particular bird... Like me... That's actually one of the good things about Sheldon's disinterest in romantic relationships. For the longest time, _before_ his "soul searching" train trip, I did fear sometimes that he might break up with me. However, I was always sure, it would only have been because the whole concept of it is too much for him, not because of another woman. Of course, one never knows, but that must be one extraordinary woman to steal my cuddles and up until now, I haven't met _anyone_ who possibly could. He only cares about the capacity of one's brain and let's face it, mine's so superior... I so wish I could examine it after I'm dead. Hm, too bad, really... Anyway, it's a blessing that most people are so limited in their intellectual proficiency. No, I'm certain that he'll never leave me for someone else... Besides, maybe I'm not the perfection that is Penny (who is?), but I know I have my own physical attractions, which men just can't resist... Look at poor Leonard, just one nice evening at a wedding and he fell for me... Not long after that he and Penny got back together. I wonder, if she ever thought, that it's just because he realized that he has no chance with me? I better never mention that though. Also, I know that he really loves her... Just like Sheldon loves me... And treasures me... I still listen to his recording on the picture frame every night before I go to sleep. I had to change the battery three times already!... For someone who constantly dismisses everything "romantic" as malarkey, he's really impressively proving the opposite on a pretty regular basis lately. I won't tell him, but I think he's the most romantic of them all!... Not to forget, that he finds me so pretty that he got a panic attack!... Hmmm, thinking about that always makes me feel warm and fuzzy... What also makes me feel fuzzy is that kiss. That _french_ kiss... So, this is what all the fuss is about... It's nothing like I imagined it to be in my countless dreams... Better! So much better! But also... I don't know really... I guess, it's just the new sensation. I'm sure, I'll get used to it with more experience... I'm amazed how calm he is considering that he just stuck his tongue into my mouth... I can still feel his taste... His strong grip on me... His body flushed against mine... His belt or his erec-

"Watch your step, Amy. Here are big tree roots sticking out."

Maybe my choice of direction wasn't the wisest. The forest is getting even thicker and it gets more and more difficult to walk. We're _not_ getting nearer to the exit, we're walking straight into the deep forest!

"Sheldon, we should change the direction. We're not getting closer to the street."

"No. We stick to this path now."

"Why when we're _clearly_ taking the wrong one?"

"Because we don't know what the right one would be. Look around, everywhere is the same. This could just be a small thicker part and behind it could be the edge of the wood."

"But it could also be just more deep forest."

"But we're never going to find out of here if we keep changing directions. We might end up walking in circles."

Good point... This is such a nuisance! I'm so tired and my legs hurt... And I'm hungry. So hungry... I need to rest. Yes, that's what we need to do.

"Alright. But then let's take a break."

"Really?"

"Yes. It's really strenuous and we're out here now for what... two hours?"

"Two and a half...Ok, but just a short one."

"30 minutes."

"Half an hour?! Amy, we need to move and not stand still!"

"My legs hurt and I'm tired and hungry. I need a break!"

"Don't blame me if we get attacked again."

"Again?"

"Yes._ You_ can pretend that it was just a _'tiny cute__ birdie'_, but _I_ know what it was and it attacked us!"

There's just no point in arguing with him now about how ridiculous his fear of a tiny, very cute owl is.

"We need to find a comfortable place though. I need to sit down."

"It would be safer on a tree... One devoid of birds of course."

He must be insane, if he really considers that... Yeah, yeah. I know, his mother had him tested.

"I am not climbing up a tree!"

"Don't you remember when we watched 'The Hunger Games'? She _only_ survived because she hid every night on a tree."

I really need to rest. A nap would be the best thing to regain some strenght. I'm so tired and he wants us to climb trees! I'm getting _slightly_ annoyed... Again!

"We're not being hunted."

"How do you know?"

"Because I do. We're alone here... Completely, utterly alone. There is no one here! NO ONE!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME!"

"I'm sorry. I'm just _really_ exhausted. And now it looks like we have to spend the night out here after all. I just need to sleep a little. You should too. This is going to be a _very_ long night."

"I most certainly will _not_ sleep here! That's like offering ourselves as dessert! Why don't we just accept death and rub ourselves with honey to make sure the bears find us?!"

"We don't have honey."

"It's a figure of speech, smarty pants."

"Whatever. Then don't sleep. But I will."

If I could find a place that is... Ah, over there by the tree it looks even enough... Yes, no roots sticking out of the ground... There also seem to be no birds in the tree, which are currently awake. That's probably as good as it gets.

"Help me unfolding the blanket please."

He does, but he still looks pretty uncertain about this. I can't help it. I'm not giving in and keep walking for another minute before I couldn't rest a little. After we're done, I sit down and try to find a good position... The ground is hard but I don't care... Oh yes! What a relief for my poor bones!

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

Tiny?! She must be delusional! She probably found that thing cute. Honestly, what would she do without me? Good thing I saw it earlier as she did, and had the nerves to react accordingly. _Just an owl_. Pah! There's no such thing as _just_ a bird!... Except for Lovey-Dovey. But obviously it was just the exception of the rule. However, on the downside it appears that now we're more lost than before... Why oh why can't I have just a little bit of luck tonight? And on top of it all, I'm sweaty now. Ugh! Disgusting!... There must be other birds here... Other killer birds... Where are they?... Hiding in the trees and probably observing us fools, waiting for the right moment to strike... I'm in hell! Why do I deserve to be in hell?!... My mother would probably know countless reasons. Firstly and most importantly, I deny the existence of the Lord. And secondly, I refuse to go to church more often than once a year. Thirdly, I engage in all sorts of "sins"... Even though, she doesn't know about that... Anyway. My point being: This situation is beyond obnoxious!

"Can you find the way back?"

"I'm not going back there!"

"But do you know where we are now? How we find the street now?"

I keep looking around, hoping for a sign that would lead in the right direction... Nothing. I have no idea... But that's not something I want to admit... _Again..._

"Sheldon. I know you don't have the slightest clue. So we have to decide in which direction we go from here on."

I'm embarrassed... _Again..._

"So, I propose we go there."

She points to a path that looks indeed easier to walk through.

"I guess it's as good as any right now."

I take her hand and start to walk, but after a few steps she stopped moving. Why?

"What is it, Amy? Why aren't you coming?"

Huh? Why is she looking at me like that? And why did she get closer?

"What are you doing?"

She's standing closely in front of me now, looking up with a cute- no, with a seductive smile... Really? Does she do that on purpose or am I seeing things again?... Admittedly, lately I find a lot of things she does kind of seductive. Although, I'm pretty sure she doesn't prepare tea the way she does to be seductive... With her elegant fingers caressing the cup- Anyhow! I'm confused. What's going on? And now she gets nearer?... Oh! Ohhhh...

_"What are you doing?"_

"Isn't it obvious?"

It is, but I'm not sure that's a good idea. I mean, I really doubt it's a good idea... She's taking the first aid kit away from me and puts it on the ground with the blanket... What is she planning to do with her arms? And why can't I keep the kit? Ok, I let it drop earlier, but I'm not planning to do that again. I barely got over the earlier kiss and that _very_ unwanted side effect.

"I don't think this is a good idea."

I should sound more convinced... I am... Sort of... Maybe just a small peck. Nothing could happen then... I hope...

"Just because it's not a good idea, doesn't mean it's not the _right_ one."

"That doesn't make-"

"Shut up, Sheldon."

She puts her hands on my arms and pushes her up on her tiptoes... That's so adoring, how small she is... Really now? Even her _height_ is adoring?! Geez!... Anyway. I'm still not convinced that kissing here is a good idea. I need to keep it simple. At least she keeps a safe distance. How considerate of her... Why is she giggling now? Maybe the excitement of kissing me made her forget where we are. Sadly, I know how easily that can happen.

"Why are you giggling now? We are in the woods and you think kissi-"

OH!... No! Stay firm! This is so not the place nor the time... _Don't touch her!... Don't smell her!... Nothing's here intoxicating!... Ignore her moving lips..._ Her hands on my shoulders... Hmmm... What to do, to resist the urge- I should open my eyes. Yes! Good idea!... No! Bad idea! She looks... Oh, I don't even know... Yummy?... Yes, _yummy_... She's disturbingly determined... Oh what now?! Didn't we agree that there should always be an appropriate distance?!... I need to get away from that warm and... _welcoming_ body of hers. And her arms wrapped around me... That vixen!... I will not give in! Try what you like Dr. Fowler, but _years_ of suppressing any urges whatsover make resisting you a piece of cake!... Oh hell! She just thightened her grip on me. Holding me captured... Shouldn't that upset me? I don't like feeling captured... _Although_... Anyway! This needs to stop now. She got her kiss and now we- OH DEAR LORD! WHAT WAS THAT?!... Her tongue?!... Did she do that on purpose or was it by accident?... An amazing accident!... Can we do that again?... When she opens her eyes she looks uncertain somehow... Why? Didn't she like it? Please, like it! She's about to say something... I don't want to hear anything... I want to kiss her!..._ I'll make her like it!_

"Shel-"

Oh yes! Damn the appropriate distance! Oh, she's so warm... No, hot!... Open your mouth, Amy!... The sensation on the tip of my tongue is incredible, when I graze her lips with it... Open your mouth _now!_... One of my hands is moving of its own accord... Going up her spine to her neck, grasping it tight... Finally! She moans and parts her lips a little. Enough for me to- Oh Jesus! _It's amazing! _Warm, wet, but good. _So_ good!... Uh oh! I feel something twitching when our tongues touch for the first time... I don't care... (What?!)... I don't care!... Her whole body flushed against mine... Her boobs!... I can't help but to press myself closer into her... She tastes delicious... Her tongue, my tongue... It's maddeningly wonderful... The sounds the makes... The twitching down there increases... I still don't care!... My other hand's not on her back anymore... Where did it go?... Ohhh, her cute buttocks! I love it!... I can't breathe anymore... At all... Neither can she... This is phenomenal! I never want it to end!... Even my now pretty hard- _What?! _Oh! Time to stop now!... _But careful! Don't upset her again... _Yes, yes. I _should_ turn around, and try to get rid of that stupid thing, but I _won't_. It's too dark for her to see anything to begin with... She doesn't seem to be interested in that anyway. She just stands there, panting as hard as I am and looking at me... Hm. Her expression is not what I expected it to be. Shouldn't she be thrilled? Deliriously happy?... Instead she looks... kind of shocked? Huh?... And now she looks away... What is going on?... I'm confused again... And a bit unsettled... And a bit insecure... None of these are feelings I'm particularly fond of. At least it helps with my erection. Which is completely gone... Now she's bending down, picks up our stuff, and gives me the first aid kit. Still not looking at me.

"We should go now, Sheldon."

"Ok."

At least she takes my hand... _At least?!... _I'm aware of the hand holding pattern here... _Again..._ But I don't care anymore. I'm not letting her go on her own tonight... Should I ask her if there is a problem and what it is?... Better not. I'm not sure if I want to hear it... Maybe she just needs a moment. Like I did earlier tonight... I'm sure, she liked the kiss. She moaned! A lot! I take that as proof that my french kissing skills are, like everything else I do, masterful. Yes, no need to feel upset. All is alright... Well, except for the millions of bacteria that just got exchanged... Uhhh! How unsanitary! I don't believe that I did that. Kissing her with tongue! What is going on tonight?! This place is doing things to us, I'm sure. Maybe we got stuck in some kind of enchanted forest?... How I hate feeling upset and agitated... I have to say though, that since I'm back from my soul searching (I'll deny that I ever even thought something so hippy like!) trip, the moments where I felt stressed out were rather rare. Not like before, when I basically had to suffer through one crisis after the other... I'm not quite sure, why that is so. It's either me that's changed, or, and that's more likely, my surrounding finally adjusted to my needs... About time, I'd say... Whatever the reason, life's pretty good these days. Sure, there are still things that need to be dealt with. Like my Nobel Prize that I'm still not closer to get, even with my change of fields... Right now, I would even be happy enough to get some recognition at all... Ugh! No, I don't want to think about that... My living condition is also somewhat undecided. Why would they assume, that I need to move out of _my_ apartment? I rented the place after all. And my things are in there! My spot! How can anyone really expect me to give that up?!... Again ugh! I don't want to think about that either... Sooo. French kissing... The bacterias aside, I kinda get what all the fuss is about... Hmmm. I still feel her... Her taste... Her boobs... Her butt... Her boobs... Enough of that now! We are in a forest after all! In the frightening wild nature! With things in it! THINGS!... Speaking of, maybe her choice of direction wasn't the best. The vegetation is getting thicker and there are lots of roots sticking out of the ground.

"Watch your step, Amy. Here are big tree roots sticking out."

"Sheldon, we should change the direction. We're not getting closer to the street."

"No. We stick to this path now."

"Why when we're _clearly_ taking the wrong one?"

"Because we don't know what the right one would be. Look around, everywhere is the same. This could just be a small thicker part and behind it could be the edge of the wood."

"But it could also be just more deep forest."

"But we're never going to find out of here if we keep changing directions. We might end up walking in circles."

"Alright. But then let's take a break."

I don't think that's a wise thing to do... Standing still... That's like giving an invitation to attackers to kill us.

"Really?"

"Yes. It's really strenuous and we're out here now for what... two hours?"

"Two and a half...Ok, but just a short one."

"30 minutes."

"Half an hour?! Amy, we need to move and not stand still!"

"My legs hurt and I'm tired and hungry. I need a break!"

"Don't blame me if we get attacked again."

"Again?"

"Yes. _You_ can pretend that it was just a _'tiny cute __birdie'_, but _I_ know what it was and it attacked us!"

She can roll her eyes as much as she wants. Doesn't change the fact, that I'm right.

"We need to find a comfortable place though. I need to sit down."

"It would be safer on a tree... One devoid of birds of course."

"I am not climbing up a tree!"

"Don't you remember when we watched 'The Hunger Games'? She _only_ survived because she hid every night on a tree."

"We're not being hunted."

She really is delusional. It probably helps her not to freak out... How can she ignore the facts here? And how will she know what's around us to begin with? She can't see what's _behind_ the trees and it's too dark to see anything more than three yards away!

"How do you know?"

"Because I do. We're alone here... Completely, utterly alone. There is no one here! NO ONE!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME!"

"I'm sorry. I'm just _really_ exhausted. And now it looks like we have to spend the night out here after all. I just need to sleep a little. You should too. This is going to be a _very_ long night."

Sleeping?! She's gone nuts! Had her mother her tested?!

"I most certainly will _not_ sleep here! That's like offering ourselves as dessert! Why don't we just accept death and rub ourselves with honey to make sure the bears find us?!"

"We don't have honey."

"It's a figure of speech, smarty pants."

"Whatever. Then don't sleep. But I will."

She looks around obviously trying to find a comfortable place to lay down... This really is a bad idea.

"Help me unfolding the blanket please."

I don't feel good about this... But the spot looks alright. The ground is pretty even and there seem to be no birds in the tree... But I can't really see it. If there are any, they seem to be sleeping... Oh God! We need to be out of here when the day rises. _They will all wake up! _

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading :)<strong>


	7. Schemes Of Life

**Chapter 7 - Schemes Of Life**

**Amy**

"Come on, Sheldon. At least sit down."

He still stands next to me and looks around. "Checking the parameters for intruders"... He really makes me watch his movies way too often... But it's nevertheless sweet, how he thinks it would make a difference if or if not he sees "the attacker" coming. We are defenseless here. I'm not pointing that out though. Obviously there is no immediate danger, since we _are_ absolutely alone, and he seems to consider if sitting down would be acceptable. He just needs a little more pushing.

"Come, sit..."

I tap at the place next to me, hoping my invitation will be accepted. I want my cuddle bunny next to me, and his sexy broad shoulder to lean on. He looks down at me, clearly torn between his wish to rest and his fear to miss something.

"You can still see what's around us."

"Yes, I guess that's true."

_Finally_ he sits down. However he sits straight up and inspects the ground. Obviously for bugs and spiders and such critters. Good idea. Thankfully the moon shines bright enough to see something... So far nothing... Now he takes out the tool of his back pocket... How cute, how he grips it as if his life depends on it... I'm really so in love with him, that I find basically everything he does adorable. Will that ever go away? Will I ever get used to it, so much so, that I stop noticing? I hope not... I wonder what he's thinking now. I always want to know what's going on in his beautiful brilliant mind.

"What are you thinking now?"

"Bridges suck."

I can't help but laugh. He's right though. So right!

"Yes, I doubt that the historic ones you wanted to see are really worth the ordeal we're going through right now."

"I'm sorry that I made you take me to them."

"It's alright. You don't have to apologize for it again... But if you want to make me feel more comfortable, you could allow me to rest my head on your shoulder."

"Now you want to cuddle?!"

Did I say cuddle?... Wouldn't say "no" though.

"No. Just resting my head on your shoulder... Like in the store when you couldn't make a decision which video game console to buy."

"Oh... Ok... Because cuddling would be highly inappropriate here."

Really?! I use to think that the way we cuddle, it would be appropriate even in a church! Who knew?... I should put my glasses into my purse. I don't want to risk stepping on them. That would really be the _last_ thing I need, walking through a forest blind.

"This is so obnoxious! I had _such _a nice hotel booked for us. It's a shame really. I was planning on using their extra large bathtub tonight. But as things look now, I'm lucky, if I _ever_ see running water out of a pipe at all."

"Did my room have an extra large bathtub as well?"

"I don't know."

Typical.

"Nice."

"Sarcasm?"

I won't grace that with an answer.

"You could've used mine."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"That would've been nice."

This time I meant it... Could we've taken a bath together?... Seriously? Delusional much?!... Besides, am I not currently trying to deal with the aftermath of _that_ kiss?... Oh, I'm _so_ tired... I better try sleeping now. When I ignore the place, the quiet is actually soothing. No cars, no people yelling on the street, _nothing_... This is so calm and his shoulder is so comfy... Finally, I feel drifting... Sleep, sleep, wonderful sleep...

"Amy? Are you cold?"

Huh? Man!... But oh! How kind of him to ask.

"Just a little."

"You can have my jacket."

Really?

"You'll be cold then."

"I don't mind."

Really? No.

"You do."

"Yes, but it's still the gentlemanly thing to do."

He is indeed quite the gentleman tonight. With all the hand holding for "safety"...

"Keep your jacket. I'm alright... You really are a perfect gentleman tonight."

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Oh... nah... Nothing."

"If it's nothing, you can tell me."

"Only that you're usually pretty oblivious to the needs of your fellow human beings."

"You're saying, I'm an egoist."

I just find it curious, that lately, not only tonight, he seems to be more perceptive. Is that a conscious change or just something that happened without him noticing?

"Well..."

"I know I am, as a lot of people say, 'self-absorbed'. And I don't mind. You know I have difficulties to understand other people. Their moods, mimics, tones. It's all very confusing most of the time. So while I know perfectly what _I_ need and want, other people's needs and wants are usually a mystery to me. So I just gave up trying a _long_ time ago."

"And when did you give up trying exactly?"

"When Missy cried nonstop on our second birthday. I still don't get what she was so upset about. She _did _get that ugly, and if I may add, really creepy looking doll. While _I_ on the other hand _didn't _get the Lego set I wanted to build my own fortress... I got... And this is really embarrassing... I got Lego _Duplo_... You know, like _stupid_ toddlers..."

"How atrocious!"

_"I know!"_

The outrage about this obvious disregard of his superiority over his peers still pains him a lot. How cute!

"Not to mention that sharing the cake with Missy wasn't pleasant as well. The only time she didn't cry was when she found the cake on the dining table. And when no one but me was looking, she climbed up on a chair, and ruined the whole wonderful thing with her chubby hands... I wanted to eat the cake sooo badly for hours, but my mother said we had to wait. So _I_ waited patiently. But could Missy? No! So I did the _only_ thing I could... It was humiliating..."

He looks down to his hands, and the expression on his face is very stern. His forehead is wrinkled and his lips just a thin line. He must be reliving a most traumatic experience. What can it possibly be?

"What did you do?"

He breathes in deeply before answering. Must be something awful... Maybe he shoved her? I mean, toddlers and little kids can be quite hard to each other.

"I was afraid I wouldn't get any of the cake. So I climbed up as well, and put _my_ hands in it too and we both stuffed our mouths full with it... We ruined our fancy new clothes... I loved the soft yellow sweatshirt and the t-shirt. It had Kermit on it. I loved Kermit. He made me learn things... However, when my mother found us she got hysterical. We ruined the cake, our clothes and the carpet of the dining room. Of course, it's kind of her fault. She left us out of sight just to show the guests something new she got. George junior was supposed to watch us, but even at that age he was not to be trusted... My mother yelled, Missy cried again and it got worse: All the grown-up people suddenly had the urge to cuddle me. That was my turn to get hysterical... So my second birthday was a huge disappointment and it was all Missy's fault!"

I shouldn't laugh... I will _not_ laugh!

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. It does sound... quite unpleasant."

"It was. So when I lay in my bed that night I realized that I just can't figure out why Missy cried so much, why my mother was so tetchy the whole day just because my grandparents came to visit and-"

"Don't your mother and your meemaw get along?"

"No, they do. It were my father's parents that were visiting us. But that's not the point."

I kinda have the feeling it was all those years ago...

"What's the point is, that I decided that night not to dwell over things I can't possibly understand, and I would only concentrate on fullfilling my own needs from that onwards."

That explains a lot. Two year old Sheldon had one bad and confusing day, and he decided to dismiss any attempts to understand other people altogether. And born was the egomaniac that we all adore so much.

"Well then I appreciate the gesture even more."

"No need to. You're my girlfriend, and despite my usual disinterest in other people I do want you to feel comfortable."

Awww...

"That's sweet."

"I know."

I still need to sleep. Desperately. There's not much time left of the half hour we agreed for this break... Oh yeah. Here it comes... Drifting away... Hmmm... Sleep, wonderful sle-

"Amy? Are you sleeping?"

Huh?... Oh God! Why won't you let me?! Just for a _few _more moments!

"No. What is it?"

"What things do you want to do before you die?"

What? He can't be serious! Such a question? Now?!... I raise my head and look at him. He turns his head as well to face me. He still has a serious expression, and he's still clutching the tool in his hands... Oh, my cute frightened sweet baboo! He must _really_ believe that it's possible that something bad happens to us in here... Maybe a consoling hug / cuddling would be in order after all?... Yes, it most certainly is! I wrap my arm around his belly. He'll let me know, if he has objections... He doesn't seem to have any though... Good!

"So what do you want to do?"

"We're not going to die tonight, Sheldon."

"Yeah... I know... I _hope_... But anyway."

I don't need to think about that. I already did. Many times to be honest. Who hasn't? One should know, what one wants to achieve in life. Luckily, I'm pretty much on track with most of it. I'm a renowned neurobiologist, studying the field I'm interested in. I invented some languages, and also many fun games one can play alone. These I made up before I met Sheldon. And games for two. After I met him. I'm playing the harp, although not as good as I wish I would. Nevertheless, there are still some things I want to do before I die.

"I want to find a cure for a neurological disorder and of course I want to get the Nobel Prize for it... I also want to write a science book and get the Pulitzer Prize. Wouldn't that be awsome?... I want to travel around the world at some point. There are so many great things to see... I also thought about going to a expedition to observe monkeys in their natural habitat and not only at the zoo... I want one of my invented languages or games to get popular... I want to get better at playing the harp, maybe even compose music for it."

Yes, that's pretty much it... I can't think of anything else at the moment... _Except_ of course...

"That's it?"

"There's just one more thing on my list."

"What?"

I really shouldn't say it. He will be enormously annoyed that I bring that up... But on the other hand, he did ask me and I should always be honest... And also it's basically an invitation to continue our conversation from earlier, that got interrupted from the owl incident... About his fears of "too" close bedrooms... And his apparent open mind to catch my eggs...

"I want to have intercourse with you."

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

I'm not sure, if sitting down would be acceptable... I really would like to, though. I'm exhausted too, and my legs hurt a little as well. Sitting, just for a few moments, would be indeed nice...

"Come on, Sheldon. At least sit down."

But I need to focus on what's happening around us. I need to make sure, she's safe while asleep. How can she even- Ah, whatever. Must be the exhaustion and the hunger.

"Come, sit. You can still see what's around us."

Could I? Probably. And if not, I can just get up again.

"Yes, I guess that's true."

Oh yes! _What_ a relief for my bones!... Don't think about spiders! Don't think about bugs! Don't think about other disgusting creepy crawlies! Uuhhhh! _Don't think about that!... _I should take out the tool. Better be prepared for all eventualities... Everything seems to be quiet... I don't believe that we're really here! I don't believe that I feel surprisingly comfortable sitting on a blanket leaning against a tree in a forest!... I don't believe that I'm going to spend the night here... Outside!... And all that because I wanted to see some stupid bridges!

"What are you thinking now?"

"Bridges suck."

She's laughing. But it's not funny at all. Our doom is all my fault.

"Yes, I doubt that the historic ones you wanted to see are really worth the ordeal we're going through right now."

"I'm sorry that I made you take me to them."

"It's alright. You don't have to apologize for it again... But if you want to make me feel more comfortable, you could allow me to rest my head on your shoulder."

She can't be serious!

"Now you want to cuddle?!"

"No. Just resting my head on your shoulder... Like in the store when you couldn't make a decision which video game console to buy."

"Oh... Ok... Because cuddling would be highly inappropriate here..."

I think... Wouldn't it? Inappropriate I mean?... Yes! Totally! Ugh! What I would give to be in the hotel instead of being here! Everything! Literally _everything_ I own!

"This is so obnoxious! I had _such _a nice hotel booked for us. It's a shame really. I was planning on using their extra large bathtub tonight. But as things look now, I'm lucky, if I _ever_ see running water out of a pipe at all."

"Did my room have an extra large bathtub as well?"

"I don't know."

"Nice."

That sounded a lot like sarcasm... I'm getting better at recognizing it, but I can't be sure.

"Sarcasm?"

She doesn't answer, but the look on her face tells me she is not pleased. How am I supposed to know, that I have to know, what kind of bathtub her room has? She doesn't mind claw-foot bathtubs!... I have to acknowledge the disturbing fact, that the things she wants me to care about are not getting less with the time but more and more... Anyway, she could have taken a bath in my room... With me getting dinner, or taking a walk, or doing something else _outside_ my room... The image of Amy in the bathtub is one that's haunting me since the time she got sick... Thankfully her health has been perfect since then.

"You could've used mine."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"That would've been nice."

This time it sounded like she really meant it. Good. I don't like it when Amy is upset with me... She looks so cute right now. With her head on my shoulder, which I don't find unpleasant at all... She's drifting off to sleep... But wait. Maybe she's freezing? I should take care of her wellbeing. I really don't want her to get sick... There's no bathtub anywhere near.

"Amy? Are you cold?"

"Just a little."

"You can have my jacket."

"You'll be cold then."

"I don't mind."

I do.

"You do."

"Yes, but it's still the gentlemanly thing to do."

It is!

"Keep your jacket. I'm alright..."

That's good, because I would indeed be cold otherwise, even though it's still pretty warm out here. But I'm tired too. And hungry... So hungry!

"You really are a perfect gentleman tonight."

Of course I am! Why does she sound like that's something unusual?!

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Oh... nah... Nothing."

Hmmm... What did she want to say? I shouldn't ask though... Who knows where that will lead to... Yes, just be quiet and rest a little...

"If it's nothing, you can tell me."

It's hopeless... I better make sure then, that we're not going to talk tonight about some topics, that I really have no wish whatsoever to talk about with Amy. God knows, what I'll end up confessing!

"Only that you're usually pretty oblivious to the needs of your fellow human beings."

"You're saying, I'm an egoist."

"Well..."

Oh, that's alright. I don't mind... At all! She's definitely not the first one to say that.

"I know I am, as a lot of people say, 'self-absorbed'. And I don't mind. You know I have difficulties to understand other people. Their moods, mimics, tones. It's all very confusing most of the time. So while I know perfectly what _I_ need and want, other people's needs and wants are usually a mystery to me. So I just gave up trying a _long_ time ago."

"And when did you give up trying exactly?"

On a most, _most _disappointing day! I haven't thought about it in a while, but that day was a lesson well learned. _Missy... _Ugh! I know I'm supposed to love her, and I do, but she was singlehandedly responsible for many, _many_ unpleasant experiences in my life. Starting with this one!

"When Missy cried nonstop on our second birthday. I still don't get what she was so upset about. She _did _get that ugly, and if I may add, really creepy looking doll. While _I_ on the other hand _didn't _get the Lego set I wanted to build my own fortress... I got... And this is really embarrassing... I got Lego _Duplo_... You know, like _stupid_ toddlers..."

"How atrocious!"

_"I know!"_

I really don't like remembering that particular day. When I woke up I had hopes, big hopes. But when I went to bed that evening, they were all crushed.

"Not to mention that sharing the cake with Missy wasn't pleasant as well. The only time she didn't cry was when she found the cake on the dining table. And when no one but me was looking she climbed up on a chair, and ruined the whole wonderful thing with her chubby hands... I wanted to eat the cake sooo badly for hours, but my mother said we had to wait. So _I_ waited patiently. But could Missy? No! So I did the _only_ thing I could... It was humiliating..."

I never forgave Missy to _this _day, that she made me do that!

"What did you do?"

Ugh! I can still feel what it was like. Sticky and messy but at the same time so delicious! I _just_ couldn't help myself.

"I was afraid I wouldn't get any of the cake. So I climbed up as well, and put _my_ hands in it too and we both stuffed our mouths full with it... We ruined our fancy new clothes... I loved the soft yellow sweatshirt and the t-shirt. It had Kermit on it. I loved Kermit. He made me learn things... However, when my mother found us she got hysterical. We ruined the cake, our clothes and the carpet of the dining room. Of course, it's kind of her fault. She left us out of sight just to show the guests something new she got. George junior was supposed to watch us, but even at that age he was not to be trusted... My mother yelled, Missy cried again and it got worse: All the grown-up people suddenly had the urge to cuddle me. That was my turn to get hysterical... So my second birthday was a huge disappointment and it was all Missy's fault!"

Did she just suppress a chuckle?! How inappropriate!

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. It does sound... quite unpleasant."

"It was. So when I lay in my bed that night I realized that I just can't figure out why Missy cried so much, why my mother was so tetchy the whole day just because my grandparents came to visit and-"

"Don't your mother and your meemaw get along?"

"No, they do. It were my father's parents that were visiting us. But that's not the point. What's the point is, that I decided that night not to dwell over things I can't possibly understand, and I would only concentrate on fullfilling my own needs from that onwards."

I also learned that the most important thing is self control. As much as I loved the cake, the perfect mixture of creamy and sugary, I swore to myself never to give in such urges again! I ruined my favorite clothes, I got yelled at, and even more unacceptable: touched by people!

"Well then I appreciate the jacket even more."

"No need to. You're my girlfriend, and despite my usual disinterest in other people I do want you to feel comfortable."

"That's sweet."

"I know."

She's so calm, so undisturbed by our surroundings... How does she do that? She knows what kind of things occupy this unfriendly environment, and yet she doesn't seem to mind at all... Maybe she purposely ignores it... Or has she already accepted fate? Does she think that we're going to die tonight?... No. She wouldn't want to sleep and waste precious time with me... I wouldn't... There are so many things I want to do before I die. I have plans... Including finding a way not to die in the first place. Living for eternity and bless the world with my genius and wisdom... And I know, Amy has plans too. But what is it exactly, that she wants to do before she dies?... Which she won't do ever anyway... And together we will rule the world forever like deities... A religion named after us... Churches... Altars... Holidays celebrating our birthdays... Forget Jesus! Here's Sheldon and Amy!... Anyhow, what are the most important things she wants to achieve?

"Amy? Are you sleeping?"

"No. What is it?"

"What things do you want to do before you die?"

She's not saying anything, instead she just looks at me... Curious, I guess... And now she's putting her arm around my waist and leans her head back on my shoulder. Why is she cuddling me now? Didn't I say it would be inappropriate?... Should I remind her?... No, maybe she is scared after all and needs consolation...

"So what do you want to do?"

"We're not going to die tonight, Sheldon."

"Yeah... I know... I _hope_... But anyway."

She's quiet. I guess she needs to think about that first. I'm surprised she has to. One should always know what the things are one wants to achieve in life. Otherwise, what would be the point of doing anything at all?

"I want to find a cure for a neurological disorder and of course I want to get the Nobel Prize for it... I also want to write a science book and get the Pulitzer Prize. Wouldn't that be awsome?... I want to travel around the world at some point. There are so many great things to see... I also thought about going to a expedition to observe monkeys in their natural habitat and not only at the zoo... I want one of my invented languages or games to get popular... I want to get better at playing the harp, maybe even compose music for it."

I'm a little surprised about the traveling and expedition. She would be gone all the time. I don't like that... _At all... _I could accompany her I guess... Ugh! Flying?! And no way I go into the jungle to observe stupid monkeys! And you aren't either, little lady!... But I better don't say that now... Was that all, or does she has some more crazy wishes?

"That's it?"

"There's just one more thing on my list."

"What?"

"I want to have intercourse with you."

Ohhh boy... _Why did I ask?_

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading :)<strong>

**Sorry, this is more of a filler chapter, an intro for the next one basically. Where they're going to have "the talk" about the huge tweepodok in the room. I hope you'll like it.**


	8. Who's In Denial?

**Chapter 8 - Who's In Denial?**

**Amy**

"Amy!"

Sheldon looks at me with his usual indignant face, as it was to be expected. But I don't care. I have some questions and I want- no, I _need_ some answers.

"What? You asked and besides, you already knew that."

"Yes, but the other things are certainly much more important."

"That's what _you_ think."

"That's what you _should_ think."

"I didn't say that it's on top of my list, just that it's there."

"Well, at least you still know how to prioritize correctly."

"Although, it is quite at the top."

He sighs annoyed. I still don't care. I don't want to upset him, but I just can't help it. Besides, if he asks things like that, he has to deal with the answers he gets. Now back to the original topic: What I want to know is, what he truly thinks about intercourse. We never really speak about it. Except for the moments when I can't stop myself and make another stupid remark about the lack of it, or when he freaks out about it, we avoid this topic like the devil avoids holy water. And I just think, that with all the progress we made, we really should talk about it. In a honest and grown up way. I know, he does think about it, but I just don't know _what_. And I really, _really_ want to know.

"Are you really not curious at all?"

"About what?"

Now _I_ sigh annoyed...

"Save it."

"No."

_Please!_ His insistence, that he's so "above" his baser urges _never_ weakens. Even though his own body seem to differ _a lot. _As it was proven just earlier when he kissed me... Twice!

"Really? You don't want to know _at all _what all the fuss is about?"

"No."

"I don't believe you."

"You can believe it or not."

"Ugh, Sheldon. Why can't we talk honestly about that?"

"We are."

"No, we're not."

"Just because you don't like what I say, doesn't make it untrue."

This isn't going to be easy. I know he doesn't _want to _want to know what all the fuss is about. But that doesn't mean, that he really doesn't... I think... I hope...

"Ok. So let me get this straight. You're saying, that we're _never_ going to have intercourse?"

I feel slightly panicked... Shame on me...

"I didn't say that."

That's something, I guess.

"What did you mean then?"

"I don't know. And I don't want to continue this conversation."

I should let this go. Nothing good can come out of it. This stresses him out, I know that. But it's stressing _me _out as well. Is it still something he generally has an aversion against? Or is he not that opposed anymore, but just not ready? Or is it something in between these two options? His statement at "Prom Night" could've meant all of the above. Naturally, I spent a lot of time since then with analyzing what he said, and also what his panic attack could've meant. He finds me pretty. That's great, but does it mean, he also desires me in a _carnal_ way? He likes kissing me and apparently that turns him on (YAY!), but does that mean, he_ wants_ to know me in a carnal way as well? It's one thing to say, that he would be open to catch some imaginary eggs in his imaginary alien form, but a whole other thing to do the real deed... I _guess_, at least... This issue bothers me a lot. Not because we're not even close to know each other remotely carnal. No, that's alright... _-ish_... It's more the uncertainty of it. Will it ever happen or not? And what _exactly_ is he thinking about it?

"A few years ago, you said, you haven't ruled it out. Did you change your mind? Have you ruled it out?"

"Can't you just let it go?"

"No."

"Oh dear Lord! Why not?"

"Because we never really speak about it and now seems to be the right moment."

"Why would this possibly be the right moment?"

"Because you asked me, what I want to do before I die. And the way I see it, if we are indeed about to die in here, the _only_ thing we're actually able to experience before is having intercourse."

I probably shouldn't have said that... Well, I'm really exhausted, and it's getting difficult to think properly first before I speak... But he's amazingly calm... Thinking about it maybe?... Ah! _Here it is._ He tenses and sits up straight, looking at me wide eyed and clearly aghast.

"You want to have sex?!... _Here?!... NOW?!"_

He sounds kind of scared. This doesn't look too good. I removed my arm from him and sit back, leaning against the tree. Keeping a safe distance again... Isn't it kind of sad, that I still need to keep safe, "appropriate", distances?

"No, of course not. Calm down. I'm just saying."

"Stop saying things like that!"

"Why? Why does the thought of having coitus with me upset you so much?"

This is highly unsatisfactory. I just wish, I would know what exactly it is, that freaks him out so much. Yes, the germs and body fluids, but he's kissing me now... With tongue!... So it must be the intimacy, right? The emotional side of it... Why? He already admitted to love me and he doesn't seem to have any troubles with it... He leans back, stares into the sky, and doesn't say a word. I have to force the truth out of him, if I want to get any useful information.

"You never thought you would like kissing, but you _clearly_ do now. What makes you think, that it would be different with coitus?"

"What makes you so sure that you'll like it?"

"Uhm... Everyone does."

"You don't know _everyone_."

"The main purpose of it is procreation. It's _made_ to be pleasant. Otherwise people wouldn't do it _all - the - time."_

"Just because-"

"Sheldon. I know I'll like it. And besides, unlike you, I know what an orgasm feels like. And I highly suspect that it would feel even better if one hasn't electronic devices plugged on to stimulate one's pleasure centres of the brain..."

Or using Gerard. But I won't mention him. Some things should always stay private!... Sheldon is quiet again, still looking anywhere but at me... I really should let this go now... Really...

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"You said at 'Prom Night' that you feel pressured by the ritual of mating. I told you, that there is no pressure. Not from me. And I mean it. I just want to know, what you really think about it."

"Why can't we change the subject? Didn't you want to sleep?"

"I would be sleeping, if you wouldn't have brought the topic up."

"I didn't! "

"You kinda did. And we can't change the topic because I want to know where we're going."

"Through hell."

"You're an idiot!"

"No, I'm most definitely not."

This is ridiculous. We aren't adults. We're two stupid teenagers only pretending.

"Sheldon..."

"Alright. You wanna know what I really think about intercourse?"

"Yes!"

"Ok, but don't blame me, if it's not what you want to hear."

"I won't"

I so will... _Shame on me..._

"I, as you and everyone know, I like to think I'm above these primal urges. I don't want to be like ordinary men. Thinking about getting laid all the time. I have plans. Great things to achieve. And nothing can distract me from reaching my goals."

"And making love to me would?"

At last he looks at me now... What was that? Something with his eye... The tick? No... Some sort of flickering? I don't know, maybe I imagined it. He turned his head away again and stares straight ahead into the forest... Will he answer? Do I want to hear it? Probably no-

"Most likely."

This sucks!

"Unlike playing fantasy board games, video games, watching the same tv shows and movies for the umpteenth time, reading comic books and whatnot?"

Whoops...

"I see what's going on with the other guys. Neither of them is living up to their full potential, as limited it is to begin with, just because they're wasting precious time with obsessing over sex... And by the way: I don't appreciate your _constant_ dismissal of the things I love."

He does have a point here.

"You're right. I'm sorry... So you have indeed ruled it out? We're never going to have intercourse?"

I could cry!

"This is getting extremely tedious."

Indeed!... But wait!

"If you really never want to do it, why am I not allowed in your bedroom? Is it because you fear I would somehow trick you into doing something you don't want? I would never do that and I sincerely hope you know that... Besides, I wouldn't even know how to seduce you."

I'm sure though, that seducing Sheldon involves some role play and advanced knowledge in Star Trek Wars... But I don't want to seduce him, like Penny and Bernadette suggested a few times. I want him to really want it. To want me. It shouldn't happen just because he has a thing for space uniforms, and can't stop his baser urges taking over while I'm pretending to be someone (or something?) else.

"I'd rather be dead now, than to continue this conversation."

"Why am I not allowed in your bedroom?"

"I love you, but I really don't like you right now."

"You don't need to like me, your love is enough. Just tell me the truth. Why do you freak out when I'm close to your bedroom?"

"I'm not 'freaking out'."

"Your eye is ticking like crazy whenever I-"

"Nothing about me is crazy!"

"Not you! Your eye!"

"Nothing is wrong with my eye. It just looks like that I need glasses. I'm-"

"You're in denial, Sheldon. It's not your eye-sight that's causing this. It's a nervous tick that only occurs when I'm about to enter your bedroom. And I find that very curious."

"You're the one that's delusional. I'm getting older, and apparently my once perfect eye-sight-"

"Stop it! Believe whatever you want, but it doesn't change the facts."

"_You_ can believe whatever you want. I know-"

"Sheldon, please. Just tell me. I only want to know, what you think. What you feel. There is no need whatsoever for us to quarrel about this. You know exactly what I think and feel and hope. Why can't you tell me in honesty, what it's gonna be?"

This is indeed so tedious and exhausting. He's still staring straight ahead and stays quiet. Do I want too much? Am I pushing too hard? We know each other now for almost five years. FIVE YEARS! Shouldn't it be possible to just talk about these things? Without this kind of drama? But no. Sheldon acts like I want to know something completely inappropriate.

"What would you do, if I say 'no'?"

"Are you saying 'no'?"

Don't! Dear God, if you, against all odds, really exist, please don't let him say "no"!

"Answer first."

"I could live with it. I already do..."

True... Five years... I'm a freaking saint!

"... I love you no matter if we're ever going to have coitus or not. I don't want you to just 'give in', so to speak, only because I or the others make you feel pressured or because you fear I would leave you otherwise. I'll _never_ do that. I just wanted to know what you honestly think about it. If 'no' is your answer, so it is."

"Well... The truth is, I don't know... Maybe."

Huh?

"What does that mean?"

"It means perhaps."

"No, _what does that mean?"_

"Maybe!"

"Sheldon."

"Ok! I would say at this moment it's a preliminary yes."

He's grinning now. Apparently very pleased with his answer. Which is better than "no", but still with an exit strategy...

"And what does that mean now?"

"That I haven't ruled it out."

"You're killing me."

"That's not my intention."

I give up.

"Alright. I take your 'preliminary' yes."

"Good. And now enough of that."

I lay my head back on his shoulder and put my arm around his belly again... No objection from him, so I'm good... Okay, so what did I get out of this mess of a "grown up"-conversation? He fears, that intercourse would distract him "most likely" from achieving his goals... As much as I hate to admit it, but he even might have a point here. I don't see any of the guys being remotely close to winning the Nobel Prize, or any other prestigious award. Damn! But at least he hasn't ruled it out completely. Which is exactly the same status as before. Preliminary! Pfft! But what did I expect? Really, what _could_ I expect? That he would all of a sudden declare that he's ready for intercourse? No, that's not going to happen anytime soon... But other things could happen, or not? Less distracting things... Besides, I'm not really ready to have coitus anyway. I wouldn't even know what to do. Also, usually people are naked when they engage in intercourse. As much as I would like to see Sheldon naked, just the thought of him seeing me is... _scary_. Oh no! That's so not going to happen anytime soon either!... But! I'd like to try french kissing again. I'm sure, I was just a bit overwhelmed by it earlier. I honestly didn't expect, that it would arouse me that much... Anyway. And a little exploring wouldn't be bad... Over the clothes. Like touching his manly chest. Also, I wouldn't mind him finding second base. That's not too much, is it? Maybe he just needs a reminder that they're there?

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for being honest. I know, I shouldn't have pushed you to talk about it. But I-"

"It's alright."

"Ok... But there's just one _tiny_ thing."

"What?"

"I'm really happy with the progress we made... You know, with all the kissing lately, and now even _whenever_ we want to."

"Good."

"And doesn't it prove, that new things aren't always bad things?"

"What's your point?"

"That I would be extremely glad, if you would at least find second base one of these days."

"I know, where second base is."

"That's not what I mean."

I draw myself nearer to him and he puts his arm around me. Not even close to second base, but that's alright... I need to sleep... Just for a little while... Almost there... His breathing calms me... His chest rising and falling... So relaxing... But what now?! He tenses up, removes his arm from my waist and sits up straight... Oh no!

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"There's something here. Close!"

"I don't hear anything."

"Because you don't have my superior hearing."

"Because _nothing_ is here."

"Listen!"

His hand holding the tool is raised now... Ready to what? Fight air? He's imagining things... This is even worse than I thought.

"Sheldon, pl-"

"Quiet!"

Oh, he's right. There _is _something... Sounds like... Hmmm... Like an insect? Or something?... Now he's on full alert... The sound gets closer. It's right around us. And he starts flipping out! He jumps up and he starts swinging his arms around. He won't catch a flying insect with a tool like that... I stand up as well. I need to calm him down. But I also need to be careful, before he accident-

"OUCH! Sheldon! You hit me!

"Oh! Sorry! Where?"

"My forehead! Owww!"

Damn that hurts!

"I'm so sorry!

"I think it's bleeding. Take a look."

"Amy... I can't"

Is he kidding me?!

"Sheldon! Take a look if I'm bleeding! And if you dare to faint, I'll leave you here!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

"Amy!"

"What? You asked and besides, you already knew that."

So true.

"Yes, but the other things are certainly much more important."

"That's what _you_ think."

"That's what you _should_ think."

"I didn't say that it's on top of my list, just that it's there."

That's reassuring.

"Well, at least you still know how to prioritize correctly."

"Although, it is quite at the top."

That isn't reassuring at all... Well, I'm to blame. Why did I ask her in the first place, if I don't want to hear the answer? Oh, where did the times go, when I couldn't care less about other people? And now I'm purposely asking for intimate details of their inner lifes?!... Okay, Amy isn't anyone. But still, this better ends here.

"Are you really not curious at all?"

It ends here!

"About what?"

She inhales deeply... Annoyed?... Probably...

"Save it."

"No."

"Really? You don't want to know _at all _what all the fuss is about?"

"No."

"I don't believe you."

It's true though. I don't _want to _want to know what all the fuss is about. I really don't!

"You can believe it or not."

"Ugh, Sheldon. Why can't we talk honestly about that?"

I am honest... And I hate this topic _sooo_ much!

"We are."

"No, we're not."

"Just because you don't like what I say, doesn't make it untrue."

"Ok. So let me get this straight. You're saying, that we're _never_ going to have intercourse?"

If she really won't let this go, she should at least listen properly.

"I didn't say that."

"What did you mean then?"

Ugh! What do I mean? She's never satisfied until I spilled everything out! But there just isn't much to say. Why won't she get that?!

"I don't know. And I don't want to continue this conversation."

She's quiet. I hope that means, we're done with this. Nothing good can come out of it. This stresses me out, she should know that... But apparently it's stressing _her _out as well... Not that I didn't already know that, I just prefer to ignore it and not-

"A few years ago, you said, you haven't ruled it out. Did you change your mind? Have you ruled it out?"

"Can't you just let it go?"

"No."

I could cry!

"Oh dear Lord! Why not?"

"Because we never really speak about it and now seems to be the right moment."

It so isn't the right moment. Because if I think about it, it would lead to one annoying and frightening conclusion: Of all the things we cannot achieve before we die in here, this one is the only thing we could. But I will not tell her that. She might get funny ideas.

"Why would this possibly be the right moment?"

"Because you asked me, what I want to do before I die. And the way I see it, if we are indeed about to die in here, the _only_ thing we're actually able to experience before is having intercourse."

How I even thought she wouldn't get that too, is beyond me! What have I started here?... Her arm is still around my stomach... _Tightly_, now that I think about it... She isn't seriously considering-

"You want to have sex?!... _Here?!... NOW?!"_

What should I do?! Should I reject her?!... Do I want to reject her?!... Ohhhh Gooood! I don't feel so good!

"No, of course not. Calm down. I'm just saying."

Thank the Lord! I wouldn't have known how to get out of it!... _What?!._.. Uhm... Nah, I just blame Amy.

"Stop saying things like that!"

"Why? Why does the thought of having coitus with me upset you so much?"

Of course, she would make it personal. It's not really about her. It's the idea in general. The germs, the body fluids, the nakedness... Ugh!... And I don't even want to imagine what feelings may occur. It's almost impossible to handle them as it is... At least she's keeping an appropriate distance now... I feel kind of cold though...

"You never thought you would like kissing, but you _clearly_ do now. What makes you think, that it would be different with coitus?"

"What makes you so sure that you'll like it?"

"Uhm... Everyone does."

As if she would know.

"You don't know _everyone_."

"The main purpose of it is procreation. It's _made_ to be pleasant. Otherwise people wouldn't do it _all - the - time."_

She's not indicating that I'm like everyone, is she?

"Just because-"

"Sheldon. I know I'll like it. And besides, unlike you, I know what an orgasm feels like. And I highly suspect that it would feel even better if one hasn't electronic devices plugged on to stimulate one's pleasure centres of the brain..."

Unlike me?

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"You said at 'Prom Night' that you feel pressured by the ritual of mating. I told you, that there is no pressure. Not from me. And I mean it. I just want to know, what you really think about it."

I'm in hell. What can I say to make this stop?

"Why can't we change the subject? Didn't you want to sleep?"

"I would be sleeping, if you wouldn't have brought the topic up."

Excuse me?!

"I didn't! "

"You kinda did. And we can't change the topic because I want to know where we're going."

"Through hell."

"You're an idiot!"

"No, I'm most definitely not."

"Sheldon..."

Fine! If she insists.

"Alright. You wanna know what I really think about intercourse?"

"Yes!"

"Ok, but don't blame me, if it's not what you want to hear."

"I won't"

I don't believe that for a second. But she wants me to be honest, so I'll be honest.

"I, as you and everyone knows, I like to think I'm above these primal urges. I don't want to be like ordinary men. Thinking about getting laid all the time. I have plans. Great things to achieve. And nothing can distract me from reaching my goals."

"And making love to me would?"

Making _love_... ... ... ... ... to_ Amy_... ... ... ... ... ... ... Uhm, what?... ... ... What was the question?... ... Ah, yes. Distraction... And as it was just proven, it already does!

"Most likely."

She doesn't look happy with what I said. But I can't change the truth, just because she doesn't like it.

"Unlike playing fantasy board games, video games, watching the same tv shows and movies for the umpteenth time, reading comic books and whatnot?"

Again?

"I see what's going on with the other guys. Neither of them is living up to their full potential, as limited it is to begin with, just because they're wasting precious time with obsessing over sex... And by the way: I don't appreciate your _constant_ dismissal of the things I love."

"You're right. I'm sorry... So you have indeed ruled it out? We're never going to have intercourse?"

I want to be someplace else... A happy place... The train store. The comic book store... Anywhere else but here...

"This is getting extremely tedious."

"If you really never want to do it, why am I not allowed in your bedroom? Is it because you fear I would somehow trick you into doing something you don't want? I would never do that and I sincerely hope you know that... Besides, I wouldn't even know how to seduce you."

You're doing a fine job either way... Ugh! Oh dear Lord, please release me from this! I am begging you! I know I asked for the opposite earlier, but I was wrong. Dying seems to be a good alternative to this nightmare.

"I'd rather be dead now, than to continue this conversation."

"Why am I not allowed in your bedroom?"

I really, and I mean it, _really_ don't want to continue talking about this.

"I love you, but I really don't like you right now."

"You don't need to like me, your love is enough. Just tell me the truth. Why do you freak out when I'm close to your bedroom?"

Pfft! That's _highly_ over-exaggerated!

"I'm not 'freaking out'."

"Your eye is ticking like crazy whenever I-"

"Nothing about me is crazy!"

"Not you! Your eye!"

I don't know why she brings that up again. Like it's so unusual that people need glasses when they get older. That by the way should freak me out! I'm not even close to be forty and my body seems to degenerate already!

"Nothing is wrong with my eye. It just looks like that I need glasses. I'm-"

"You're in denial, Sheldon. It's not your eye-sight that's causing this. It's a nervous tick that only occurs when I'm about to enter your bedroom. And I find that very curious."

Why does she insists on this ridiculous idea? Yes, I don't want her in my bedroom, but that has nothing to do with my eye. No girls are allowed in my room!

"You're the one that's delusional. I'm getting older, and apparently my once perfect eye-sight-"

"Stop it! Believe whatever you want, but it doesn't change the facts."

"_You_ can believe whatever you want. I know-"

"Sheldon, please. Just tell me. I only want to know, what you think. What you feel. There is no need whatsoever for us to quarrel about this. You know exactly what I think and feel and hope. Why can't you tell me in honesty, what it's gonna be?"

Ugh!... But if I'm honest, at some point in the last months, or maybe years, I really should've taken the time to think about that whole mating business thoroughly. But it scares me. Usually I'm all for considering the great schemes of things, but in regards to _this_ topic, I'd like to think in small... tiny... _miniscule_ steps. If I have to think about it at all. But here I am now, with no escape, and Amy's asking if I ever want to take the last ultimate step or not. And I haven't evaluated it... I haven't really. Not at all... Not thoroughly... Not thoroughly _enough_...

"What would you do, if I say 'no'?"

Would she break up with me? Looking for someone who will have coitus with her? Someone like Stuart or Zach?... Oh no! What a horrible thought!

"Are you saying 'no'?"

"Answer first."

"I could live with it. I already do... I love you no matter if we're ever going to have coitus or not. I don't want you to just 'give in', so to speak, only because I or the others make you feel pressured or because you fear I would leave you otherwise. I'll _never_ do that. I just wanted to know what you honestly think about it. If 'no' is your answer, so it is."

Of course, she wouldn't leave me. She loves me!

"Well... The truth is, I don't know... Maybe."

I'm so above giving in... Or I used to be... My body seems to have a different opinion about that. Which is so uncalled-for! What's the point in supressing the need for... uhm... _all sorts_ of physical activities when your own body betrays you like that? And while we're at it: What about these dreams? I used to dream about fun stuff. Like getting awards and being celebrated for my brilliance... Or sci-fi dreams, like being in space discovering alien races... Or being a superhero fighting the evil... But since this whole kissing business started, I dream about that... and other things... And they torture me! And they wake me up in the middle of the night! It's horrendous, really. No wonder I'm not even close to achieve anything remarkable professionally. I'm constantly sleep deprived!... Anyhow. As annoying all of this is, the _most_ annoying thing is, that I find myself indeed wondering... A lot lately... But I won't tell her that. That's like opening Pandora's Box, except that I know _exactly_ what's in there.

"What does that mean?"

"It means perhaps."

"No, _what does that mean?"_

"Maybe!"

"Sheldon."

"Ok! I would say at this moment it's a preliminary yes."

That's such a great answer. Why haven't I thought about it sooner? It would have spared me most of this unpleasant conversation!

"And what does that mean now?"

"That I haven't ruled it out."

"You're killing me."

"That's not my intention."

"Alright... I take your 'preliminary' yes."

"Good. And now enough of that."

She leans her head back on my shoulder. That's alright. Oh, maybe I could close my eyes. Just for a few moments. I'm tired. And hungry... All this talking about sex and stuff is exhausting!... Preliminary! Ha! I'm so smart. It's not a no, it's more a yes, but with a way out. And most importantly, without a specific time frame. That yes could stay preliminary forever!... Although, forever seems to be an awful long time frame... Whatever. Enough of that now!

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for being honest. I know, I shouldn't have pushed you to talk about it. But I-"

"It's alright."

"Ok... But there's just one _tiny_ thing."

Ugh!

"What?"

"I'm really happy with the progress we made... You know, with all the kissing lately, and now even _whenever_ we want to."

Alright. So far so good...

"Good."

"And doesn't it prove, that new things aren't always bad things?"

No, that doesn't sound too good anymore...

"What's your point?"

"That I would be extremely glad, if you would at least find second base one of these days."

Yeah, me too.._._ I'm _really_ tired. And sooo hungry... She smells delicious... I won't tell her, this is getting way out of hand. I need to concentrate or I might do something really stupid!

"I know, where second base is."

"That's not what I mean."

She snuggles herself closer... Oh, this feels good... Well, the very least I should do is to put my arm around her. She might be freezing after all... But I need to be careful and stay away from second base... Even though I find myself wondering lately if they feel that pleasant as they look... Well, I just can't help noticing them! They're there_ all the time!... _There's one recurring dream that slowly but surely is driving me insane. Amy and I are together, doing something. That changes every time. A few times we played one of our games, or we watched tv, ate dinner, drank tea, and so on. But at some point, we're suddenly in my bedroom. I don't know how we get in there, yet we always do. Kissing each other... Not unlike the kiss earlier... And I _have _found second base... And I want to see them, so I start to undress her... _I know! _Even in my dream I think every time how inappropriate that is... Nevertheless I do and she doesn't seem to think it's inappropriate. She's all excited and her hands are all over me... ... ... ... _Anyhow._ I always start to open the cardigan, and then the blouse, and then the next shirt, and the next, and the next after that. And it goes on and on and on. Because here's what makes it the most torturing nightmare: No matter how many shirts I get rid off her, there's always another one underneath. After countless shirts I mostly wake up, panting and frustrated. _Very_ frustrated. About the tedious shirts, but also about the dream itself. Some evenings I'm even afraid to go to sleep... I shouldn't think about that now. Think about something- Wait! What's that sound? Where is it coming from? I can't see anything but it's getting closer! _Danger!_

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"There's something here. Close!"

"I don't hear anything."

"Because you don't have my superior hearing."

"Because nothing is here."

"Listen!"

Sounds like an insect! Iiieeehhh... I hate insects! Flying aliens! It sounds _big!_

"Sheldon, pl-"

"Quiet!"

It's here! It's attacking us! I need to fight it! But it's small and fast and I can't really see-

"OUCH! Sheldon! You hit me!"

Drat!

"Oh! Sorry! Where?"

"My forehead! Owww!"

Oh no!

"I'm so sorry!

"I think it's bleeding. Take a look."

WHAT?!

"Amy... I can't"

"Sheldon! Take a look if I'm bleeding! And if you dare to faint, I'll leave you here!"

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks a lot for reading :)<strong>

**And I know, I don't say it often enough, but I love your feedback. Thank you for the reviews, follows and favs. It really keeps me going. And btw the story will begin to deserve it's m-rated status soon. Let's see how long that "preliminary" stands... ;)**


	9. Stopping By Neanderthal

**Chapter 9 - Stopping By Neanderthal**

**Amy**

That did the job! He nods and steps a little closer. Of course, I wouldn't leave him here. But he hit me! Over the head! Because of some other imaginary threat of a tiny, harmless animal!... Oh. Even in this lighting he looks paler than before. He _really_ doesn't look very healthy. He won't faint for real now, would he?

"Amy, can we sit down, please?"

"Sure."

We do and he draws closer to examine the wound. It really hurts. I don't believe he hit me with that stupid thing!

"Turn your head a little, so I can see better."

Please let this be nothing too serious!... But how fortunate that we have the first aid kit with us. Sheldon was at least right about that... Although, he really didn't have to _injure _me to prove it.

"No. The other direction."

He grabs my chin and positions my head. He doesn't let go of it though. Instead he- _What? _He's _caressing_ my cheek? Huh?

"It's just a scratch... It's bleeding a little though."

He's swallowing hard, and probably demanding himself not to loose consciousness. He lets go of my face, opens the first aid kit and searches for the band-aids... He looks a bit ashamed. And he should!

"I am really, really sorry Amy. I didn't know you were standing so close."

Is he trying to put the blame on me?!

"I should've been more cautious."

No, he isn't. Good for him!... While he opens the wrapping of the antiseptic wound cleansing pad he gazes up at me with regretful eyes. Ohhh... _Seriously?_ He gave me a _bleeding_ wound!

"Are you very mad at me? I was just trying to protect us... you know that, right?"

Awww. And how adorable he looks, trying to be brave. I _just_ can't stay mad at him for too long.

"I know and I'm not mad at you... anymore."

He lets out a sigh of relief, and I watch him bracing himself for the task to put a plaster on my bleeding scratch. When he takes the pad and swabs the blood away, his breathing is noticeably faster and his hand is shaking a little. Oh, that's so cute... _Really? Even that is cute?... _Yes! And I don't care if it's ridiculous!... When he's done, he sighs again. Glad, that the worst is over... Still cute.

"The blood is gone... I put the band-aid on it now."

"Ok."

Ohhh, his left hand's on my chin, and his fingertips are stroking my cheek again. So softly though, it's hardly recognizable. But I feel it. Every time he touches me my whole body is alerted... He looks at me somewhat strangely before he puts the plaster on with his other hand... Strangely how? Like that split second earlier, when I mentioned the love making with me... Something like flickering in his eyes... I never saw that before... Fascinating...

"It's done..."

Why is he whispering?

"Does it hurt much?"

What's happening? His hand is still on my cheek and the way he looks at me... I don't know... With an _intensity_ that goes straight down my stomach... And lower... I don't feel the wound at all anymore. All I feel is his touch and the turmoil in my belly. Butterflies all over the place. _I_ might be the one fainting here...

"No..."

Oh. My voice is small... His fingers softly draw lines on my face... Wonderful... When his thumb brushes my lower lip, I hear his breathing hitching. My heart is pounding in my chest again, and my own breathing dangerously close to hyperventilating. I know, he's going to kiss me, and I'm eagerly awaiting it. But at the same time, I can't help but to feel nervous. He's different somehow. That look in his eyes, it's- OH! He lunges at me, pushing me against the tree! His hand on my face moves around my head, and he pulls me closer to him. _What_ is happening? His other hand grabs me around the waist and he _groans_! Oh my freaking God! We're making out! _For real!..._

I should do something with my hands. I should also stop thinking and just enjoy this! I grab his shoulders and return the kiss... Oh, how he moves his mouth on mine... ... ... Fervor is the word... ... ... It's phenomenal! Pressing his lips on mine, releasing them, sucking on my upper lip. I can't help but to moan and- Oh yes! He takes the opportunity to put his tongue into my mouth... ... ... This is so amazing!... ... ... He presses himself so hard against me, that I'm gliding down... He's laying half on top of me... ... ... ON TOP OF ME!... ... ... Don't faint. Don't faint!... He's _so_ close now! I feel his chest on mine... ... ... Ohhh, his heartbeat... ... ... So fast!... ... ... My hands move up and down his back, his shoulders, his arms. He doesn't seem to mind. He would say, if he would... He feels great, but it would feel better, if the jacket wouldn't be in the way. I want to get rid of it...

The damn zipper is stuck... Oh no. He breaks the kiss... Oh yes! He helps! He sits up and takes it off! Oh what wonderful sight that is... Huh? He pulls at my arms, dragging me up and oh! He takes off my jacket!... Sheldon is _undressing_ me. HOOOOOO! I _must_ be dreaming!... I watch him as he pulls the sleeves down my arms. He's breathing _so_ fast, and when it's off, he looks at me for a split second with the darkest eyes I have ever seen... ... ... His tongue... ... ... Wet and hot... ... ... He's so close... Are we laying down again?... His fingers on my nape keep digging into my skin... ... ... I like that... I _love_ that... ... ... And his soft shirts... His buffed up biceps... What exactly is he doing in his spare time?... ... ... This is so sensational!...

His one hand keeps my head firm in position, and his other hand moves down on me... Like it knows exactly where to go... ... ... Oh-my-freaking-_freaking_-God! His hand on my breast! He _really_ does know where second base is! He groans with the first contacts... ... ... Or I am... ... ... And I feel getting aroused... _Again_... ... ... Very much so... But it's alright... I feel good. So good!... He keeps kissing me with such a fervor, I can't find any air to breathe. But I don't want to breathe. I don't want to ever stop kissing Sheldon... Ohohhh myyy! He's getting bolder and begins to play with my boobs... He finds the hard-

"Ohhh..."

He's squeezing it!... ... ... Electric shock waves _everywhere!..._ ... ... He's getting more and more frenzied... ... ... I can feel his erection pressing on my thighs... Oh God! It's hard... Really, _really_ hard... And not small... ... ... I feel something funny in my stomach... ... ... Nooo! He stops kissing me... But oh, that's good too. His mouth moves down my neck... I think, he's licking me a little... ... ... Amazing... ... ... His hand fondling my breasts... ... ... I don't believe this is really happening, but I _never_ want this to end...

"Sheldon, don't stop..."

_Did I just say that out loud!?... _But he doesn't stop... He puts kisses around my ear... ... ... And his hand on my breast... ... ... Squeezing... Releasing... ... ... Squeezing... Releasing... ... ... _Crazy_... ... ... It's driving me _crazy_... ... ... I can't lay still... ... ... This is so exciting! So beyond _anything_, I've ever felt... ... ... I'm so turned on... ... ... I feel my panties getting damp... ... ... Funny feeling in my belly again... ... ... But this is so amazing... ... ... So amazing... ... ... I might experience an orgasm just by Sheldon caressing me like _that_... His hands on me like _that_... His mouth on my neck like _that_... What's that funny feeling?... ... ... I need air... ... What's happening?... ... ... He feels heavy suddenly... ... ... The way he keeps fumbling my boobs... ... ... It's so wonderful... ... ... Why do I feel so funny then?... ... ... It's a little too much now... ... ... I can't take it anymore... It's too overwhelming... I feel my stomach cramp... This isn't good... _What_ _is happening?... ... ... _Oh no, I'm freaking out... _I am freaking out!_

"Sheldon... You need to stop, please."

He doesn't though. Maybe he didn't hear me?

"Please stop."

I try to push him a bit off me. I need distance. Now he does stop instantly. Looking down at me with a concerned expression on his face. He's still breathing hard, and I'm not sure without my glasses, but I think I can see his fully grown arousal pressing in his pants... I can't help but to gulp.

"Oh God! Amy, I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me!"

He looks shocked now. This time, I'm sure he really is. His gaze goes down to my slightly exposed state. My shirts are pushed up a little and my skirt is as well. I haven't even noticed that... I look at him and now he swallows hard, but he also looks like he's about to cry... No, no, no! I didn't want to upset him!

"Sheldon, please. It's alright. Really! It was just... well, a little too much."

"It most definitely was!"

He stands up and turns around... He's a bit standoffish again. Maybe he just needs another moment to calm down? I most certainly do need a moment... I also need to pee.

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

She wouldn't just leave me here, _would she_?! I'm not going to faint! I'm not going to faint! I am a man! It's just blood!... Red and sticky and- _I will not faint!_

"Amy, can we sit down, please?"

"Sure."

"Turn your head a little, so I can see better... No. The other direction."

She isn't doing it right. I just grab her chin and position her head... Oh drat! It _is _bleeding! What have I done?!

"It's just a scratch... It's bleeding a little though."

I'm not going to faint! I'm not going to faint! I _am_ a man and it's _just_ a little blood! NO BIG DEAL!... Okay, so what do I need? Something to clean the wound... Oh God, I gave her a wound! I _wounded_ my girlfriend! This is just terrible!... What else?... Of course, a band-aid... Ahh good, here is everything I need. How smart that was to take the first aid kit with us. And there she tought, we wouldn't need it... Although, we probably wouldn't, if I wouldn't have injured her... I should apologize. She must be so mad at me. What was I thinking?! Throwing my arms around with a dangerous weapon like that?!

"I am really, really sorry Amy. I didn't know you were standing so close. I should've been more cautious. Are you very mad at me? I was just trying to protect us... you know that, right?"

Please, please, please don't be angry with me. Even though I really deserve it.

"I know and I'm not mad at you... anymore."

That's a relief... _Okay now, be strong and get it over with! Clean the wound first... _Ugh! I feel strange in my stomach... _Remember! Do not faint!... _No, no. I won't... _Control your breathing. Do not hyperventilate!... _No, no. I won't... She's so close. I feel the body heat from her... I demand you, precious brain of mine: DO NOT GIVE UP ON ME NOW!... Ah good! The blood is gone! And I didn't pass out! Yay me! And now just the band-aid and it's done!

"The blood is gone... I put the band-aid on it now."

"Ok."

Her skin feels sooo good... I just hold her... For putting the plaster correctly on the scratch, of course... Ohhh, so... What's the word?... _Velvety_... I see her observing me... The way she looks at me is somewhat strange... Her eyes shine... Even in the dark... Her lips... Oh, _her lips..._

"It's done..."

Why am I whispering?

"Does it hurt much?"

The way she looks at me... Ohhh... Turmoil in my belly. _Again?!_... Stupid butterflies! This is so not the time to make me all fuzzy feeling!

"No..."

Ohhh, her voice! So low and what's with her eyes? So dark and yet so... ... ... _Don't! Let go of her! You just hit her! This is so inappropriate!... _Alright. I will ignore her sparkling eyes. I will ignore her soft skin under my fingers. I will ignore her scent. I will ignore the urge to kiss her... ... ... I will ignore everything around us... ... ... I will ignore annoying voices of reason in my head... ... ... Her lips are always _so_ soft and warm... I need to feel her closer... Not close enough... She moans!... ... ... That is so good!... ... ... I feel her hands on me. Grabbing my shoulders. Pulling me closer to her... She's kissing me... ... ... Fervently... ... ... Oh. I feel something down there... ... ... I don't care... _Again_...

Her hand around my neck, tight... The fingers of her other hand on my shoulder digging into my skin... I like that... I _love_ that... ... ... Her lips are restless, pressing on mine, releasing them, sucking on my lower lip... I've never felt anything so good before... She's groaning... Or am I?... Or both?... Doesn't matter. It's sounds wonderful!... ... ... Oh dear sweet Lord! Her lips are so hot and her tongue so wet and warm... ... ... Glorious!... ... ... Her _boobies_ pressed against my chest... Hmmm... Feels great... ... ... How did that happen? Are we laying down? Am I laying on top of her?... ... ... ON TOP OF HER?!...

Ah, who cares?... Her heartbeat... So fast... Her hands moving up and down on me... I love it! This is- Oh, she's trying to get the jacket off me. Good idea! I'll help and let's get rid of hers as well!... I'm undressing Amy... ... ... Oh! She looks... I don't know. Different, but so beautiful... She's panting heavily, and her hair is messed up... Did I do that?... I never felt so... uhm... _whatever_ I feel right now... But I'm going to burst, if I don't taste her again... Oh yes! So delicious!... ... ... Good... ... ... So good... ... ... But not enough. I feel her chest even closer on mine now. I want to feel her... I want to feel _them_. She _just_ said she wants me to... Oh, here they are!... ... ... Soft... ... ... Full ... ... ... Perfection... ... ... I think I'm groaning... ... ... I think I'm going to lose my mind... ... ... Her... ... ... Nipples... ... ... Hard!... ... ... Awesome!

"Ohhh..."

That sound! I need to hear it again!... Squeezing... Releasing... Squeezing... Releasing... ... ... Too many shirts... ... ... Huh? What was that?... ... ... Ohhh dear. I'm losing it! She moves... ... ... Perking up her boobies... I need more! More of her lips and mouth... ... ... More of her... ... ... I'm having a serious hard situation down there... ... ... She can feel it... I still don't care... ... ... This better never stops!... ... ... Her skin on her neck tastes sweet... ... ... Like honey... ... ...

"Sheldon, don't stop..."

Did she really just say that or did I imagine it?... Like in my dreams... Either way, I won't... I never will! I will make this even better... Moving from one to the other... Squeezing... Releasing... I put kisses right below her ear. I read that the skin is sensitive there... She likes it! She moans harder and louder now... ... ... Ohohh dear God! I might have a sticky situation soon... ... ... But the sounds she makes... ... ... I won't stop... ... ... I can't... ... ...

"Sheldon..."

... ... ... ? ... ... ... ? ... ... ...

"You need to stop, please."

I don't understand what she's saying... Did she say stop?... No... _Did_ she?

"Please stop."

She did! And she's pushing me off her! Oh no! What have I done? What was I about to do?!

"Oh God! Amy, I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me!"

I feel horrible! I didn't even notice that she's uncomfortable! I didn't even care for one second, if she would want me to do what I did. How could I have let this go so far?

"Sheldon, please. It's alright. Really! It was just... well, a little too much."

"It most definitely was!"

I need to get away from her. I'm not to be trusted. At all! Her pushed up skirt isn't helping me. I need to turn around away from her. This cannot be happening again! She said she enjoyed it, but _obviously_ not as much as I did. And I didn't mind bothering. All I wanted, was to take care of my needs... What I want to do to her... No! I can control myself! I always do and I will again!

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading and please don't hate me. Sometimes it's really not what it looks like. :)<br>**

**I have to say, as much fun it is writing a story in first person, the parts when finally something sexy happens, are pretty difficult. I knew that from my previous story, but there it was only Sheldon's mind I dealt with. Also, I kind of forgot that when I started this one. Not very smart, I know. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. If not, let me know and I try to do better next time. But of course, you can also tell me if you liked it. 'Cause reviews make me happy. :)  
><strong>


	10. To Be Or Not To Be Screwed

**Author's Note: This chapter seems to appear and dissappear for some reason. I have no idea what's going on, but I'm sorry for any confusion this might have caused :(  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10 - To Be Or Not To Be Screwed<strong>

**Amy**

He seems to be more upset than I thought. He doesn't even look at me when he bends down to pick up his jacket and messenger bag.

"Get up, Amy."

Hm. That could've been said nicer... But I do, straighten out my clothes and put my jacket on as well. He's picking up the blanket now and folds it... And now he puts the tool back into the kit, and what?! He just walks away? Still not even looking at me _once_... I'm really starting to feel upset by his attitude. And I will tell him so!... After I peed though.

"Sheldon, wait up! I need to take care of something first."

He stops and turns around. At last looking at me. Do I see annoyance in his face? What the hell?!

"Can't it wait?"

"No! Stay here."

"Where are you going?"

"Finding a moment of peace!"

"Why? It's not safe! We shouldn't seperate... And why would you need a moment of peace? What does that even mean?"

"It means, that I need to urinate! And unless you wanna watch, I need to find a bush!"

"Ohhh... Uhm... I'll wait here."

"Good!"

I'm walking around finding an adequate place. Well, as adequate as it can be here... I am positively angry with him now! How can he be like this? After _that_ and everything else that already has happened tonight?... Granted, that was definitely much more intense. I still feel a little shaken... But this isn't about _me_, it's about _him_... As usual... Why am I surprised though? Sheldon is who he is. He hates feelings and urges. That didn't change, just because he found second base after all... And seemed to enjoy it... _A lot.._. And it didn't change, just because he admitted to love me. It took him years for that! And I'm pretty sure, before he finally accepted, that what he feels is not some parasite living the good life in his brain, or whatever other ridiculous explanation he considered, he was putting up an epic internal fight... Whatever. No reason to treat me like that!

"Amy! Don't go so far away!"

Oh, he sounds distant. I look back and see, that in my anger I walked quite the distance... Ah, here's a bush... Ugh! Don't think about crawling insects. Don't think about spiders. Damn! DON'T think about spiders! How unpleasant that is. Sheldon is right. Nature is no place for humans... Thank the inventor for wipes!... Sheldon stands there waiting. I should calm down. If I yell at him, he will switch into defensive mode instantly, and nothing but a nasty fight will come out of it. I have to explain to him in a rational way, why he hurt me, and why his behavior isn't appropriate. Considering that I just let him grope my boobies... Yes, so breathe in and out... In... And out... He doesn't do that on purpose... In... And out... In... And out... He doesn't hurt me intentionally... In... And out... In... And-

"Good Lord! What took you so long? We're trying to get out of here, and you walk back 12 yards just to egest your unsanitary body fluids?!"

"Screw you Sheldon!"

He lets out an indignant snort and looks at me shocked. But yes, screw him!

"_Excuse me? Screw me?! _What language is that? You clearly let yourself influence by Penny's simple upbringing. It doesn't suit you."

"SCREW YOU!"

"AMY!"

I could kill him! And no one would know! The surrounding here is perfect for an undiscovered murder. Sadly, I don't have a shovel...

"What is going on with you suddenly?"

"WHAT IS GOING WITH _ME?!"_

"YES! WITH _YOU! _And we really should keep our voices down, and not attract to much attention to whatever-"

"NOTHING IS IN HERE! YOU HEAR ME? NOTHING!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!"

This isn't going anywhere! He doesn't even have the slightest idea what's wrong. He is so unbelievably dumb!

"Let's go Sheldon."

"Finally. We wasted enough time already."

I hate him. I do. Of course, he would define making out with me as a waste of time... We're walking again... Over woods and stones... Over and over again... I hate this place as well... _What now?! _He can't be serious! He thinks I would want to hold his hand?! I pull mine away from his grip, and he stops walking immediately. Are you very much confused, Dr. Cooper? Doesn't your girlfriend behave like you want her to? Well, suck it!

"Amy. I don't understand you. Why did you yell at me, and why wouldn't you want to hold my hand? We might get separated. It's for saf-"

"If you say just _one_ more time, that you want to hold hands just for _'safety'_,_ I_ am going to hit you."

"And now you're threatening me with physical violence?!"

I'm tired. I didn't rest at all. Because he hit me over the head, and then went all neanderthal on me... Don't think about that now. Don't think about the glorious feeling of his lips and tongue and his hands on me... I just want to keep walking and not talking. What would be the point anyway? But he grabs my arm, preventing me to walk away.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

When I look up at him I see concern in his eyes. But who knows what he's concerned about? Probably just the prospect of me hitting him.

"Tell me."

"It's just that... I mean, one moment everything seems to be alright and the next everything... just isn't anymore."

"I don't understand."

"Really? You don't realize the way you act and then _react_ to the same thing is completely contradictory?"

"Uhm..."

"You don't realize that one moment you get all handsy on me, and the next you act like just the thought is the most unpleasant thing ever? After all these years with no physical contact _whatsoever_, you don't realize that now that we have it, your deprecative demeanor might be devastating for me? So I guess, I got my honest answer after all."

Preliminary yes. My ass!

"Amy..."

"No, you wanted to know! How do you think does it make me feel, when I open up to you and let you touch me like that, and then you turn away not even able to look at me? I tell you how: It makes me feel horrible! It makes me wish we would've never gone so far! It makes me wish you'd _never_ kissed me on that stupid train!"

"Amy..."

He sounds pleading. For what? To stop stating the ugly truth? To stop talking altogether? Who knows. UGH! And here come the tears... No, no, no! I won't cry! Looking down and blinking a few times helps. Good, emotional disaster averted! He hates crying... Which would actually be a good reason to do just that in front of him for _hours!_... I need sleep and food! Oh God! I'm so hungry!

"You don't mean that."

He sounds like I _did_ hit him. I look up and he looks... Devasted? And sad? Oh my...

"I don't know right now, Sheldon. Let's just go. I don't want to talk anymore."

This is a nightmare! I hear him following me a few steps behind. At least he has the sense to keep his mouth shut. I don't want to think about _that_ at all anymore. About his shocked face when he got up, and looked at me laying there totally exposed... I don't believe that he actually did that! He was so... _determined_. Strong in a way... In a sexy way... _Manly_... Oh hell no! _What is wrong with me? _He treated me like dirt, and here I am reminiscing the cause of it! I am in control of my betraying baser urges. I am _not_ a slave to my endocrine system. I do not care about his soft and warm lips... His big hands... His big... That really felt big... And hard... Hoooooo... _NO! Listen Dr. Fowler! You are brilliant! You are bound to discover the mysteries of the human brain! You do not need Sheldon's reciprocity of any mumbo jumbo touchy feely humbug! You spent your whole life abandoning these things, and look what he did to you when you let your guard down? You became an overly sensitive emotional wreck!..._ Okay! No more of this! If he wants a relationship of the mind, so be it!... No! He doesn't even deserve the company of my brilliant superior mind!... I should stop thinking now. Just keep walking. One step and then the next...

Two steps... Three steps... Four steps... I can hear him breathing close behind me. What is he thinking now? I didn't really give him a chance to say something in his defense... But he wouldn't know what he needs to defend in the first place. He's so clueless. It's cute at times. Mostly really... But not now... On the other hand, wasn't I the one, being completely clueless about his fears regarding moving in together? Wasn't I the one, who turned out to be so naive, that I _never_ thought, that living with Sheldon would be anything more than two roomates sharing an apartment? And why would he agree to amend the Relationship Agreement with kissing allowed _all the time_, if he wouldn't like to do it? And why would he have kissed me, with tongue _twice_, if he wouldn't enjoy it? He did it even though he was so upset after the first kiss tonight. Why would he say and do all that, if he wouldn't want to?... He wouldn't! Sheldon never does anything, what he doesn't like doing. Especially when body contact is involved. Or exchanging body fluids, like bacteria infested saliva... I shouldn't have said, that I wished he would've never kissed me. Really, I shouldn't have. I feel a bit guilty now...

_But_ nevertheless, he did behave awful when I just asked him to slow down... Although, I didn't asked him to just slow down. I asked him to stop altogether. And I even pushed him off me... Why did I? It felt amazing. I never felt so close to Sheldon as I did right there. So, why would I possibly want it to stop? After way too many years of fantasizing about something like that! I still don't believe, that we made out. _Made out! _And here of all places! No one will ever believe that... Anyhow. So why in the world did I end this?... Because it was just a little too much. I felt a bit overwhelmed by the feelings of his touching and kissing me, and the crazy upheaval going on in my belly... And down there... I've _never_ been so aroused before. Which is pretty scaring... And that's what I felt. I felt scared... Of what exactly? He knows how the female body functions, right? Besides, he wouldn't have touched me there anyway. Or would he? I never thought, he would go as far as he did, so what would've happened if I didn't say stop? He wouldn't have touched my vagina, right?... But the way I felt, he wouldn't have had to anyway. Only a few more squeezes on my breasts, and I would've had an orgasm just by that... Which would have been _extremely_ embarrassing. Another reason why I needed him to stop. I'm not ready to let go like that in front of Sheldon... _Huh?! _But why am I even talking about having intercourse, when apparently I can't even handle a little making out?... How confusing.

The truth is, that making out feels _so_ different as I imagined it to feel like in my dreams. In them, he's mostly impersonating one of the heroes of my favorite books and movies. I mean, I still call him Sheldon and not "Mr. Darcy" or "Heathcliff" or something. And it's always so very romantic. He would say the most lovely things. And he would be so gentle... Well, mostly at least. Once he made me watch an episode of that tv show, he likes so much. "Throne Games" or something. And boy! That one scene was so explicit, I felt like I'm watching a dirty movie with Sheldon. Well, if he wouldn't have gotten up after a few seconds and made tea, that is. I don't believe, that he is watching such things regularly! But that was one nice dream I had that night... Anyhow, so he is mostly very sweet in my fantasies... Except for the ones, where he would just take me... _Anyhow_. My point is, that he's not fictional, he's a real person. And this feels real. The emotions I have, the sensations when he touches and kisses me like that, are _far_ more intense than what I ever felt in my dreams... And apparently I have a hard time handling them. Ugh! This is exhausting!... Wasn't the first thing he said after we stopped, that he's sorry? Why would he think he needs to apologize? What for? It was just too much. _He_ of all people surely understood what I meant, right? But he didn't seem to listen. Not really at least. He was already shutting down... This isn't helping. This isn't going _anywhere_. I need to think about something else.

We're in here for over five hours now, and not a sign that we're getting anywhere nearer to the exit... I'm so hungry, I could kill something. Wow! Interesting. So it's true that only after a few hours in rural, primitive surroundings the human brain switches to hunting mode, when faced with the prospect of starving. Maybe we could hunt for a rabbit or something. We could make a fire and grill it... Pfft! Sheldon would rather starve than to hunt down a bunny... He must be so scared in here. But he's impressively calm. This must be his worst nightmare come true. And yet he doesn't freak out... _That_ much... If I think about it, that makes our little make out break even more extraordinary. Considering the surrounding... Oh nooo! I'm a horrible girlfriend! I didn't think about him at all! How big a deal this must have been for him too! How he abandoned once again his own limitations and restrictions. How he, _unlike me,_ wasn't afraid to let me feel his arousal. _He_ opened up to _me,_ and I yelled at him, and accused him basically of being cruel to me and whatnot! I feel awful! I don't even know what I could possibly say now... The very least I can do is to take his hand, making sure that he's safe.

"Amy?"

"It's for safety."

"I told you so."

"Yes, you did."

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

This can't be happening! Again!... We need to get away from here. She needs to stand up. She needs to cover herself. _Don't look at her! Do not look at her!_

"Get up, Amy."

I just pick up the blanket and fold it... Good... The tool should be put away, it already caused too much damage... And now just walk away... _Don't look at her... Just keep walking..._

"Sheldon, wait up! I need to take care of something first."

_Don't look- _oh, it's safe. She looks normal... Like before... _Dressed_... And why is she still standing _there?_

"Can't it wait?"

"No! Stay here."

"Where are you going?"

"Finding a moment of peace!"

Huh?

"Why? It's not safe! We shouldn't seperate... And why would you need a moment of peace? What does that even mean?"

"It means, that I need to urinate! And unless you wanna watch, I need to find a bush!"

Oh!

"Ohhh... Uhm... I'll wait here."

"Good!"

She walks pretty fast. I don't like the sight of her walking away from me. Like she's not about to come back... Ugh! Enough of that now! I am in control of my feelings!... Sort of... They cause discomfort and confusion. They make me think things. They make me _do_ things. But they won't control me. I control them. And they need to disappear now... Like Amy seems to do!

"Amy! Don't go so far away!"

She stops and turns around, looking at my direction. I have an unsettling feeling in my stomach, seeing her so distant. In the dark. Like she's about to vanish... I can't think straight. This is tedious!... Now she's gone... ... ... What's taking so long?... I need to get it together again. _Feelings_. What a malarkey!... Ah, there she is. Finally!

"Good Lord! What took you so long? We're trying to get out of here and you walk back 12 yards just to egest your unsanitary body fluids?!"

"Screw you Sheldon!"

"_Excuse me? Screw me?! _What language is that? You clearly let yourself influence by Penny's simple upbringing. It doesn't suit you."

"SCREW YOU!"

"AMY!"

She looks at me angry. _No_ doubt about that. Why though?

"What is going on with you suddenly?"

"WHAT IS GOING WITH _ME?!"_

"YES! WITH _YOU!_ And we really should keep our voices down, and not attract to much attention to whatever-"

"NOTHING IS IN HERE! YOU HEAR ME? NOTHING!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!"

_What is up with her?_ She has no reason for such a behavior!... Must be the hunger.

"Let's go Sheldon."

"Finally. We wasted enough time already."

Yes, we really, _really_ should concentrate on the matter at hand. Finding a way out of this mess... I don't believe that we _made out_ here. That I groped her boobies! That I kissed her... Like _that_... This is neither the place nor the time for activities like that... Where would be the time and place though?... Stop that now! I got carried away. Dangerously so, and she even had to _beg_ me to stop! And she pushed me away from her! No, I won't let that happen again. She deserves better... Much better!... I'll take her hand. That she likes and besides, it's for safety... But what?! Did she just snort dismissively? Why now? _Is_ something going on?

"Amy. I don't understand you. Why did you yell at me, and why wouldn't you want to hold my hand? We might get separated. It's for saf-"

"If you say just _one_ more time, that you want to hold hands just for _'safety'_,_ I_ am going to hit you."

"And now you're threatening me with physical violence?!"

Would she really do that? I mean, I know she has a, frankly quite unnerving, tendency to lash out when she's upset. But why would she be upset now? She doesn't say anything, just looking at me and now away, inhaling sharply. An indication that she feels... dispirited?... Well, her whole attitude since we stopped doing what we did on the blanket wasn't really happy. Was it?... She starts to walk away, but I really want to know, what's upsetting her so much all of a sudden.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Hm. The way she said that... Something is clearly wrong here... What is going on?

"Tell me."

"It's just that... I mean, one moment everything seems to be alright, and the next everything... just isn't anymore."

"I don't understand."

"Really? You don't realize the way you act and then _react_ to the same thing is completely contradictory?"

No. Not really... Right?

"Uhm..."

"You don't realize that one moment you get all handsy on me, and the next you act like just the thought is the most unpleasant thing ever! After all these years with no physical contact _whatsoever_, you don't realize that now that we have it, your deprecative demeanor might be devastating for me? So I guess, I got my honest answer after all."

WHAT IS GOING ON?!

"Amy..."

"No, you wanted to know! How do you think does it make me feel, when I open up to you and let you touch me like that, and then you turn away not even able to look at me? I tell you how: It makes me feel horrible! It makes me wish we would've never gone so far! It makes me wish you'd _never_ kissed me on that stupid train!"

She didn't mean that! No, she didn't... She can't!... I feel like she kicked me in the stomach. I feel sick.

"Amy... You don't mean that."

I wish she would look at me. I could see then if she really meant it. But she looks down on the ground... Sniffing a little... Is she _crying?... _Oh God! Please don't! I can't handle crying... Did _I_ make her cry?... Oh, I'm _so _confused!

"I don't know right now, Sheldon. Let's just go. I don't want to talk anymore."

And she just walks away... From me... I don't know what to do. What to think. How did we end up here?... I'm not in control of _anything!... _Should I say something?... Better not. She'll probably yell at me again, and might say something even more horrible, than that I'm basically _cruel_ to her... She's walking pretty fast. I need to make sure to stay close behind her. She might not want to hold my hand for safety, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't take care that she is anyway. Even though she doesn't seem to appreciate my efforts very much right now. She doesn't seem to even _like_ me that much right now... I don't feel good.

I just don't understand what has happened. Why would she have said something horrendous like that? She asked me to stop, and I did right away!... Sort of... I _apologized_ for my behavior! I know, I shouldn't have lost it the way I did, after I _hit_ her. And I feel ashamed. I truly do. That's no way to behave. That's not how I imagined it would be... Not that I did... That much... But if there would be a right way, it would have been indoors. After a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant Amy likes so much... But now I really doubt, that it will _ever_ happen again... Not that I want to anyway... No, if I'm honest (again), I do... I _really_ do... It felt good... Good is actually not the fitting word. I don't think, I know a word fitting... That cannot be. I know every word that exists... It was sensational. Spectacular. Fabulous. Marvelous... Although, I shouldn't think about that. Now, that it won't ever happen again. I hurt her, and not only with the tool. I hurt her feelings, and I keep thinking about kissing her... And her amazing boobies. Ohhh. They're perfect! They feel phenomenal!... This is not alright! She's upset and sad, and I'm musing over the miracles that are her breasts. Even in my head I treat her badly. I'm the worst boyfriend ever.

Which I find truly surprising. I used to think that I'm a great boyfriend for Amy. We even have a test, that states how happy we are with each other! And yet she doesn't seem to think so... Did she lie when we took the test? No. Amy would never cheat on a scientific endeavor. She is happy! And she should! She made it perfectly clear for years, that she wants a physical intimate relationship with me and I denied her... Stupid me!... So logically, she should be even happier now that we kind of have one... This doesn't make sense at all! I need a break. I need to think about something else entirely.

My stomach is making uncomfortable sounds constantly now. What would I do for a burger! I would kill for it!... Oh, interesting. So spending just a few hours out of civilization, makes one throw all limits away, and regress back into stone age mode. Historically we are hunters... Well, I'm a hunter. Amy should make our cave nice and comfy, and make sure the fire, that_ I_ made, doesn't die... What would happen if we don't find a way out of here? Could we survive? Could I hunt? I'm a good shot... When the target is moving on my tv screen that is... But we don't have a weapon anyway. I could make a bow though. But just the thought of killing something living... Could I possibly shoot _Bambi?..._ No! Never!... Which makes me a pretty sorry excuse for a Texan man, my father would say... Anyhow. Amy could though. Not because she's heartless, but because she would do everything necessary to take care of me. I just know she would, and I wished I could say the same thing about me... Well, then I'd just be the one making sure our cave is warm and homely. I'm not above admitting, _to_ _myself only_, that she is much stronger than I am.

Look at her. There she keeps walking in the forest not afraid at all... I wish she would let me take her hand. I feel alone. I wish she would at least talk to me... What did she say exactly? That I didn't look at her after she made me stop. She said that in an accusing manner. Surely, she must understand, that I needed to calm down after what we just did. That I couldn't look at her, without giving into the urge to attack her again. She said she wanted it to stop... Why did she? Was it something I did specifically, or the whole thing in general?... No, she liked it... Mostly at least... She said _explicitly_ "Don't stop"... The way she said that... Oh, dear Lord! I'm getting... horny... No! I take that back. I do not get "horny"... _Whatever.._. She felt _it..._ Oh no! I let her feel it! Haven't I _just_ declared, that private parts are not to be touched? At _any_ time? Boundaries! Not to cross anytime soon!... But here I am, having broken my own rule _again_. Just after a couple of hours! This is getting ridiculous! Not to mention, that I didn't even care if she would mind feeling it. Maybe that was what made her uncomfortable... No... Maybe... But not much. She did say "Don't stop.", even after I was having a pretty grown situation down there... This is embarrassing. Even in my head!... _Anyway._ Then she changed her mind. Why? Why would someone want something to stop, after someone just declared that this something shouldn't stop?... And why did she _interrogate_ me for almost an hour, if I want to have coitus or not? And _then_ telling me, that she wants me to find second base _at least, _when she can't even decide, if _she_ really wants that!? It sure looks like, that she has troubles making up her own mind about the whole touching thing!

I wish, she would talk to me again. She was angry at me before, and she always forgave me. She will this time too... Even though I didn't do anything wrong! She just misunderstood. When she's calm again, I'll make that clear to her... How long isn't she talking to me now? 42 minutes. It's almost half past midnight... This is a nightmare! This is indeed the _worst_ nightmare ever!... Oh! Why did she take my hand now? Does that mean she's not angry anymore?

"Amy?"

"It's for safety."

"I told you so."

"Yes, you did."

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading :)<strong>

**Like some of you mentioned in your reviews, I also always thought, that Amy is mostly just all talk about how much she wants to get some "action". And also highly influenced by the likes of Jane Austen. But when it would really happen, I could imagine her freaking out. I also think, that it's not always Sheldon messing up. As patient as Amy usually is, she does have a temper and she's not always fair. And in a situation like this, when the nerves are raw, carefully built up walls are crumbling and long hidden desires float to the surface, I think it's possible that one of them would overreact. But for a change, I didn't want it to be Sheldon. Do you agree, disagree, don't care? Let me know!**

**Happy New Year everyone! :)**


	11. Reaching Hypothetical Peaks

**Chapter 11 - Reaching Hypothetical Peaks**

**Amy**

He holds my hand pretty tight. Like he's afraid I would let go again. I feel really bad. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions that fast. I guess, it might have something to do with having to deal with the "old" Sheldon for so long. Where such a reaction would clearly have meant, that he was repulsed by what happened. Well, it wouldn't have happened at all to begin with. The "old" Sheldon suppressed even the urge to _hug_ me... My poor sweet baboo. I was _so_ mean!

"Sheldon, I want to apologize for what I've said to you."

"Why did you?"

"I felt bad when you behaved so distant afterwards, and I thought it meant that you didn't like it. But I can see now, that I was wrong."

"Really _completely_ wrong."

It feels good to hear that... Although, I'm not _absolutely_ sure, if he meant me being mean, or the making out itself.

"About what I said or making out?"

"Both."

Oh good! We're _finally_ on the same proverbial page it seems... Although, I really have to work on my nerves. How come, that I'm losing them and not he, whenever things heat up?... Oh my God! Things are finally heating up! Yayyayyay!

"What you've said, was really mean."

Not yay. He sounds serious and a bit uneasy. I feel horrible. A big lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach.

"I know. I didn't really mean it. You know that, right?"

"So you don't wish, that I would've never kissed you on that fabulous train?"

"No! Of course not. That's one of the best moments of my life."

"Why would you say it then?"

Because I'm an idiot.

"I don't know. As I've said, I was upset."

"It hurt me."

Oh no. The way he looks at me. Sad big puppy eyes. The lump and knot just grew by leaps and bounds. I'm the worst girlfriend ever!

"I'm so sorry, Sheldon. _So_ sorry."

He doesn't say anything. Just keeps walking next to me and looking ahead... What is wrong with me? Saying something horrendous like that?! I wouldn't be surprised, if he wouldn't forgive me. I'm not sure, if I would, had he said something like that... But then again, he did say some hurtful things over the years, and I always forgave him... Still, I wish, he would say someth-

"Ok."

Oh! And he just squeezed my hand a little!

"I don't like it, when we fight like that. It reminds me of my parents. You once said, we wouldn't be like that. Screaming and being mean to each other."

"I know... I promise to try not to be like that anymore."

"Ok... I'll try too..."

Huh?

"I'm aware, that I... uhm... wasn't always as nice to you as I should've been."

"Yeah... But I know, you were just having difficulties with accepting your feelings for me. That you're not so above these hippy dippy things."

"Please. Nothing about us is hippy dippy."

Really?

"If you say so."

"I say so."

"I love you, Sheldon."

"I love you too."

Awww. He smiles bright at me. Oh, what a relief. No more fights tonight. Or preferably, never!... _Seriously, _I need to relax a little. So making out turned out to be even better than I thought. No need to freak out!... So, I'm thinking, if we'd do that regularly, I wouldn't be so overwhelmed by all these emotions anymore...That's a good idea. Practice makes perfect! Also, no need to rush things. We can take things slow. No peak reaching anytime soon!... But how soon can we do that again?

"Are we going to do that again?"

"What?"

"You know..."

"Amy! Remember where we are! This is neither the place no-"

"Nor the time. I know... But anyway. Are we?"

He sighs... I really should let this go. For once tonight, I really should.

"Maybe."

_Again_ with the "maybe"?

"Just maybe?"

"Probably."

Which is a lot better than "maybe".

"Just probably?"

"Most likely."

I could live with that!

"Most likely?"

"Amy!"

"Sheldon!"

He clearly doesn't appreciate my mocking his disapproving tone. I'm definitely sleep deprived and half starved now! Another break would be good...

"What do you want me to say? _Yes! _We will do that again! _Yes! _We will kiss like maniacs again, not caring about bacteria and saliva at all! _Yes!_ I will grope your boobies again, trying to ignore the tenthousand layers you wear to hide them! But _not_ here! _Indoors! _Where humans belong!"

Tenthousand? Gee, what's up with the over-exxageration of things?

"Alright, alright! I get it... Indoors, not here..."

"Besides, why are you so eager to repeat that? You're the one who said stop."

Uhm. I really don't want to reveal all the details. Why though? It makes me feel great, that he would get so aroused by kissing and touching me. Wouldn't it make him feel also good?... _Or_, and that's much more realistic, it would make him uncomfortable... Or would it? He changed so much over the last few months. Hardly noticeable for other people, but they don't get to see the Sheldon I get to see. The one laying half on top of me... Ohohoh my. Just the thought!

"Amy?"

Huh? Oh, yes. He asked me something... I need sleep!

"I obviously didn't want to stop because I didn't like it... I just... uhm... thought at the moment, that we shouldn't go any further... You know, here... _outdoors_."

Not exactly the real reason, but nevertheless also a valid point.

"Where further do you think would we've gone?... Also, I think you're not telling me the truth. So what is it really?"

Damn!

"Uhm... The truth is... I just felt... overwhelmed a bit..."

"Overwhelmed how?"

"Why do you want to talk about the details of my feelings all of a sudden? You find that topic uncomfortable."

"Yes, usually I do... _Usually_ though, I don't find myself in the forest fumbling on my girlfriend's breasts until she begs me to stop."

If he wouldn't have that slightly accusing tone, it surely would have been the hottest sentence he ever said!

"I didn't beg... I just... uhm... suggested... sort of..."

"You said, 'Sheldon. You need to stop, _please_.' and then '_Please_ stop.'. How is that not begging?"

"Ok... Maybe... But as I've said, not because I didn't enjoy it."

"Why then? And don't say because you were overwhelmed. I wanna know _why_ you were."

Ugh! What's going on here? I always wished he would be more open about his emotions and more interested in mine. I need to reevaluate that. Disinterested and ignorant Sheldon has its perks. I want this conversation to be over. Really. I want a break... Sleep... Eat!

"Ok, I'll tell you. I felt so aroused by what you did, that I thought I might have an..."

I can't say it... Really? Since when am I too shy to talk about absolutely natural body reactions?

"Yes?"

Is he really that clueless?

"I thought, if you would've had continued, I would've had an... orgasm... Happy now?"

He keeps quiet. That was surely enough information to make him feel uncomfortable. I wish he would say something though.

"Why would you want me to stop then?"

HUH?!

"What?!"

"Why wouldn't you want to... uhm... experience _that?"_

Who is the attractive man walking next to me? Most certainly not my Sheldon.

"Uhm... I... Uhm... Would _you_ want to?"

"We're not talking about me."

We _so_ are!

"We are now. I know you've been... _enjoying_ what we did as well... I felt-"

"Amy..."

He said my name like a warning... But _that_ I really want to know.

"So, would you've felt comfortable with reaching your peak?"

"It's different."

"How so?"

He looks at me, like I asked the stupidest question ever. But I don't know, what he means. How is it different?

"How so?! Do you need lessons in the male anatomy and-"

"No, I know how that works. As I've said, I felt it _pretty_-"

"_Ok! _So then..."

"So then what?"

"I don't believe you. You just want me to spell it out."

"No. I just want you to tell me what you mean."

He inhales sharply and I think, that's it. I'm fine with it though. Let's talk about less embarrassing things.

"I mean..."

No, that's not it. He keeps surprising me over and over this night.

"... it would be different, because unlike you, I would have to deal with a very... uhm... _messy _situation. Naturally, I wouldn't find that very comfortable."

You're wrong, Dr. Cooper. I know messy... But I won't tell him that... Does _he_ know messy or just in theory? I know I said earlier, that he wouldn't know what an orgasm feels like, but actually I don't know if that's true. I'm just assuming really.

"So, that would be the only reason? Otherwise you would be _totally_ ok with it?"

"Uhm..."

"Aha! I knew you wouldn't! And I wouldn't either."

"Ok! I get it... Sooo, you _liked_ it, huh?"

He grins, like he just solved some difficult equation... Cute...

"Yes, I already told you, I did."

"Good... I'm happy that you're not mad at me anymore."

"I know now that I had no reason to be. I'm glad, that you're not angry with me, that I was so mean to you."

"I'm not."

We continue walking, and the scenery didn't change at all for the last hour or so. We're definitely not getting closer to the edge of the forest. But I'm way too exhausted to really care anymore. I just want to sleep and eat... Something... _Anything!..._ He's really quite the gentleman. Whenever there is a hindrance we have to overcome, like an huge old tree trunk, he helps me to climb over it, making sure that I don't slip or hurt myself. My clothes must be getting dirty though, with all the moss around. I don't care about that either... Sometimes I can't believe how great my life has become since that day nearly five years ago. That glorious day when I met Sheldon. Not that I knew back then what would become of it. Of _us_. I just thought he's _finally_ someone not as tediously idiotic as all the other morons I dated to please my mother. The things one has to put up with just for using the perfect grill... _Anyway_. What did I know, that meeting Sheldon, who hates change more than anything, would be the sole reason for turning my world upside down? But in a good way. A _great_ way. Not only do I have the best boyfriend ever, I also have the best friends one could wish for. And with this "new" Sheldon, it's even better now. I'm really happy... But still unbelievably hungry. Maybe I find some berries? But that's dangerous. In the dark I can't really say which one's are safe and which not. I might kill myself accidentally. And boy, would I be pissed, would I die here, now that making out is finally happening... Uhhh, it's getting chilly. Or maybe it's just because I'm so tired.

"Are you cold, Amy?"

"It's a little chilly now, don't you think?"

"No, I'm alright. Do you want my jacket now?"

"Yes please. But when you're freezing you get it back."

"Ok."

He let's go off my hand and that instantly feels wrong. He puts the first aid kit down, takes off his jacket and hands it to me... He's so adorable... Man, this lovey dovey stuff really never ends!

"Hold my purse and the blanket for a moment please."

I feel like I'm putting Sheldon on me. The jacket has his scent. Or more accurately the scent of his washing powder. I love it!

"Thank you for giving me your jacket."

He just smiles at me, and the butterflies in my stomach are in full motion... We keep walking, and after a while the vegetation gets less thick. That's something at least! I'm so exhausted, I can't even think about anything except sleeping and eating. I don't know what I want to do more. At least we didn't have a wild animal scare for a while. I know, that there must be real animals in here. The ones that could indeed finish us off. But what's the point in worrying about that, when we can't change it anyway? Neither Sheldon nor I would know what to do.

"Amy! Do you see that?"

Oh no! I spoiled it... But he didn't sound frightened.

"No. What?"

"There's a light!"

"Where?"

"Over there. Between the trees. Do you see it?"

"No."

"There! On the left... I'll show you."

He steps behind me, and lays his hand on my waist... _Nice_... His head close over my shoulder. His cheek is almost touching mine... He turns my body slightly to the right, and I see in which direction he's looking.

"There. It's small, but definitely man made light."

"Yes. I see it. It might be the edge of the forest... Finally!"

"Yay!"

And with that he steps away from me, and reaches out his hand for me to take. I guess, with the rescue so close, we're not pretending it's for safety anymore... I'm relieved! _So_ relieved! I hope there is something to eat!

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

I better hold her hand tight. Just in case she changes her mind again. Does that mean, she isn't angry anymore? Should I ask? But maybe it's better not to say anyth-

"Sheldon, I want to apologize for what I've said to you."

"Why did you?"

"I felt bad when you behaved so distant afterwards, and I thought it meant that you didn't like it. But I can see now, that I was wrong."

So wrong indeed!

"Really _completely_ wrong."

"About what I said or making out?"

Isn't it obvious?

"Both."

She lets out a deep breath. Like _she's _relieved? Why? She confuses me. She _really_ does sometimes... I still don't feel so good. The words are still ringing in my ears loud and clear: _"It makes me wish you'd never kissed me on that stupid train!"_

"What you've said, was really mean."

Did she really mean it? Even just a little? That would be horrible! In retrospect, that kiss was one of the best moments of my life!

"I know. I didn't really mean it. You know that, right?"

"So you don't wish, that I would've never kissed you on that fabulous train?"

"No! Of course not. That's one of the best moments of my life."

Oh good! And it should be!

"Why would you say it then?"

"I don't know. As I've said, I was upset."

"It hurt me."

She looks up at me... Sad puppy eyes... Ohhh...

"I'm so sorry, Sheldon. _So_ sorry."

It really did hurt. A lot... I hate feeling like that. It makes me... Vulnerable. I don't like that at all. I saw the guys getting hurt over and over again. Leonard was heartbroken for a significant amount of time since he met Penny. Who can blame me, for never wanting this?... But then again, Amy never dumped me, and she never will. I know that... Also, mostly she makes me happy. And feeling happy I like a lot.

"Ok... I don't like it, when we fight like that. It reminds me of my parents. You once said, we wouldn't be like that. Screaming and being mean to each other."

"I know... I promise to try not to be like that anymore."

And I should too. If I think about it, I did say a few things to her as well, that I wished I wouldn't have said.

"Ok... I'll try too... I'm aware, that I... uhm... wasn't always as nice to you as I should've been."

"Yeah... But I know, you were just having difficulties with accepting your feelings for me. That you're not so above these hippy dippy things."

Pfft!

"Please. Nothing about us is hippy dippy."

"If you say so."

"I say so."

"I love you, Sheldon."

"I love you too."

Awww. She smiles bright at me... Sooo, I'd really like to know, if the whole making out upset her, or just my "apparent" inappropriate behavior afterwards. Should I ask her?... No, better not. Better we don't talk about anything at all, as long as we're here. And as long she hasn't eaten something... What would really suck is, that if we're not going to find a way out of here, I would miss the new "Star Wars" movie. I know, December is over half a year away, but I'm really looking forward seeing the movie. It will be bad, of course. Everyone was so excited about the trailer, but I'm not sure. But then again, I doubt it could be as disappointing as "Episode 1"... Although, now that it's Disney, they probably fill the thing with countless annoying creatures of the likes of Jar Jar Binks. Oh, it will be horri-

"Are we going to do that again?"

Huh?

"What?"

"You know..."

Is she serious?! We just spend over an hour after we did _that_ with yelling and then silence, and she wants to do it again? _Here?!_

"Amy! Remember where we are! This is neither the place no-"

"Nor the time. I know... But anyway. Are we?"

What am I supposed to say? I feel the peace is fragile, and one misunderstood word and she's off screaming at me again and accusing me of God knows what. Even though, she just promised she wouldn't. But I know women. They're not to be trusted, when it comes to emotional things. So I better be vague.

"Maybe."

Will that be good enough? Although, she didn't like "maybe" before, when she asked me if I'd be curious about intercourse.

"Just maybe?"

I knew it! Nothing is ever enough for her!

"Probably."

Which is a lot better than "maybe", she has to admit that.

"Just probably?"

She can't even accept that? Oh, what the hell!

"Most likely."

This is almost as good as "definitely", which would be the honest answer... Seriously, why can't she read between the lines? And there people say, _I_ have no clue.

"Most likely?"

"Amy!"

"Sheldon!"

Is she mocking me now? Unbelievable!

"What do you want me to say? _Yes! _We will do that again! _Yes! _We will kiss like maniacs again, not caring about bacteria and saliva at all! _Yes!_ I will grope your boobies again, trying to ignore the tenthousand layers you wear to hide them! But _not_ here! _Indoors! _Where humans belong!"

"Alright, alright! I get it... Indoors, not here."

Finally!... Although I have to wonder, why she would be so impatient to do that again? She clearly was upset about something when we did. She wanted it to end, not me... Why didn't I though? It's actually quite surprising that it wasn't me... Nah, don't think about that now. Better find out what _her_ problem was, that ended that amazing occurence.

"Besides, why are you so eager to repeat that? You're the one who said stop."

Where exactly would it have ended, if she didn't say that it should?... Better not to think about that either now... Or even better: never!... She doesn't answer. Maybe that's good. Maybe I don't want to know.

"Amy?"

Apparently I want to know... Ugh! I'm so tired and hungry, my brain _really_ doesn't function properly anymore.

"I obviously didn't want to stop, because I didn't like it... I just... uhm... thought at the moment, that we shouldn't go any further... You know, here... _outdoors_."

Valid point. But not the reason she said stop... Interesting though, that she mentioned that we shouldn't have gone further. Where does _she_ think would that have been?... Uhm. Didn't I just decide not to think about that _ever_ again?... I won't ask her. God knows, what she will answer. God knows, what happens then, when I hear her say _things_. It usually ends up with me doing them. Like finding second base. _So, Dr. Cooper, you just shut your mouth now!_

"Where further do you think would we've gone?"

Damn! _Change the topic!_

"... Also, I think you're not telling me the truth. So what is it really?"

"Uhm... The truth is... I just felt... overwhelmed a bit..."

"Overwhelmed how?"

"Why do you want to talk about the details of my feelings all of a sudden? You find that topic uncomfortable."

"Yes, usually I do..."

Usually though, it doesn't involve me examining the secondary sex characteristics of my girlfriend.

_"Usually_ though I don't find myself in the forest fumbling on my girlfriend's breasts until she begs me to stop."

"I didn't beg... I just... uhm... suggested... sort of..."

_Please. _It's like she forgot I was there.

"You said, 'Sheldon. You need to stop, _please_.' and then '_Please_ stop.'. How is that not begging?"

"Ok... Maybe... But as I've said, not because I didn't enjoy it."

"Why then? And don't say because you were overwhelmed. I wanna know _why_ you were."

What's going on here? What do I really want to hear? She already said that she did like it, so shouldn't that be enough?... She seems to be uncomfortable... So you see how that is? How unpleasant it feels getting questioned over and over about your feelings and thoughts and whatnot?

"Ok, I'll tell you. I felt so aroused by what you did, that I thought I might have an..."

Oh!... Ohhh... _How _interesting! But I can't be certain that she really means _that_. She could also mean a stroke.

"Yes?"

She looks at me like I'm the most clueless person. I'm not, but I need to be sure.

"I thought, if you would've had continued, I would've had an... orgasm... Happy now?"

I am... Which is also pretty intriguing... Do I care about my... uhm... performance?... I do. Apparently I really do. Which leads me to the next question: Why, when I'm so good (YAY ME!), did she want to stop?

"Why would you want me to stop then?"

She looks at me now, like she's never seen me before. Her eyebrows raised and her mouth slightly opened in surprise. I think though, that I asked a very reasonable question.

"What?!"

"Why wouldn't you want to... uhm... experience _that?"_

"Uhm... I... Uhm... Would _you_ want to?"

That _so _wasn't the question!

"We're not talking about me."

"We are now. I know you've been... _enjoying_ what we did as well... I felt-"

"Amy..."

No! We won't go there now. Moving on!

"So, would you've felt comfortable with... reaching your peak?"

No, we're not moving on... I don't believe I'm here wandering around in the dark talking about reaching peaks!

"It's different."

"How so?"

"How so?! Do you need lessons in the male anatomy and-"

"No, I know how that works. As I've said, I felt it _pretty_-"

"_Ok! _So then..."

"So then what?"

I know what this is. She just wants to know, if I even know what it feels like. I won't fall for that trap though, missy!

"I don't believe you. You just want me to spell it out."

"No. I just want you to tell me what you mean."

Okay. But then we can hopefully _finally_ move on, and talk about less embarrassing topics.

"I mean, it would be different, because unlike you, I would have to deal with a very... uhm... _messy _situation. Naturally, I wouldn't find that very comfortable."

"So, that would be the only reason? Otherwise you would be _totally_ ok with it?"

_In front of her?! _Just over my_ very_ dead body!

"Uhm..."

"Aha! I knew you wouldn't! And I wouldn't either."

"Ok! I get it..."

So _this_ is the reason! I do understand that. Although, I wouldn't have minded... _Really?!... _But I should have, because if she would've reached her peak, I would've as well. I'm sure of that. So she kind of saved us from an unimaginable embarrassing situation. Not to mention messy... However, I'm really good, am I? I master everything indeed!

"Sooo, you _liked_ it, huh?"

"Yes, I already told you, I did."

"Good... I'm happy that you're not mad at me anymore."

"I know now that I had no reason to be. I'm glad, that you're not angry with me, that I was so mean to you."

"I'm not."

The vegetation hasn't changed at all for the last hour. We're not getting closer finding a way out of the woods. Strangely it seems that I got used to this surrounding. I feel pretty calm... I'm probably just too exhausted to mind anymore. I wouldn't mind a break. I would even consider sleeping a little right now. I would even shoot Bambi, if I had the chance, I'm so hungry... I should think about something else. Something pleasant... Sometimes I can't believe how different my life has become since that day I met Amy. If I would've known back then what would become of us, I probably would've run away as fast as I could. But she and her alluring ways slowly but surely caught me. She's like a spider, spinning her web, entrapping her prey. And before one knows it, there's no way to escape. And here I am almost five years later, thinking about sharing a room with her... And doing things with her... French kissing now, and _whenever_ we want to! Anarchy!... Groping her boobies... Hmmm... And I always care about how she is. Is she happy? Is she sad? Is she upset or angry? All the time! It's exhausting, but I can't help it. She does care about me as well, so I guess it's just the way it is, when one is in a romantic relationship... Romance... How I despise that word and the concept. _Yet, _I do all the obligatory things that come with the territory: Valentine's Day dinners, Anniversary Date dinners, Date Night dinners, watching boring romance movies, really fun boyfriend-girlfriend-sing-a-long-nights, the list goes on and on. And don't forget the gifts! I am indeed the best boyfriend she could wish for... Oh, I think she's shivering a little.

"Are you cold, Amy?"

"It's a little chilly now, don't you think?"

"No, I'm alright. Do you want my jacket now?"

"Yes please. But when you're freezing you get it back."

"Ok."

"Hold my purse and the blanket for a moment please."

She puts my jacket over hers and she just looks cute... This lovey dovey stuff never ends, does it?

"Thank you for giving me your jacket."

She smiles at me, and I feel that tingling in my belly again... Butterflies... I think the forest is getting less thick. Which is so helpful! We had to step and climb over many big roots and trunks of trees, and all other sorts of hindrances. Now we can finally move forward faster! Maybe we even get out of here before the sun rises and the birds wake up. Oh no, don't think about that again!... What's that flickering thing over there?

"Amy! Do you see that?"

It's a light! I'm sure!

"No. What?"

"There's a light!"

"Where?"

"Over there. Between the trees. Do you see it?"

"No."

"There! On the left."

She looks around but not in the right direction.

"... I'll show you."

She's so warm now. I am a little cold since she wears my jacket. But I won't say so, she would give it back to me, and then she would be freezing again... Her face so close...

"There. It's small but definitely man made light."

_Don't pull her closer! You just want to show her the light, and not your growing "excitement"! Remember, this is neither the place nor the- _Shut up! I know!

"Yes. I see it. It might be the edge of the forest... Finally!"

"Yay!"

_And now get the hell away from her!... _Alright, but I still want to hold her hand. Even though it looks like, we might have escaped any dangers and rescue is within our reach. Who cares! It's just holding hands and I like it! So what?! No big deal!... I just hope there is something to eat.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading! :)<strong>


	12. Peeping Sheldon

**Chapter 12 - Peeping Sheldon**

**Amy**

We work our way through the woods, getting slowly closer to the light. I guess, it's still 30 yards away. I can't make out to what the light belongs, there are too many trees blocking the view and it's also too dark. It can't be a proper building though... Maybe a car or something?

"Can you see what it is?"

"No, not yet. But it can't be big."

He doesn't sound so certain and relieved anymore as before when he first found it. But I'm still convinced, we'll find help there. Someone with a car or at least a phone that works... Or maybe just something to eat.

"Hmmm... I don't know Amy."

"What?"

"Don't you think, there would be more signs of civilization by now so close to the light?"

"What do you mean?"

"Shouldn't there be at least a proper path?"

"Maybe we're not close enough yet."

"Yeah, maybe."

He is getting nervous. I hear it in his slightly higher voice, and also in the way he clutches my hand like I'm about to get snatched off him. It hurts a bit, but I won't say anything. This will be over soon, and we will get to a gas station, and someone nice will take us back to my car, and we will get to the hotel and sleep in comfy beds _at last. _Everything will be alright... Although, there is really nothing here that would indicate we would nearing the edge of the forest... Only 10 yards now. I can make out something. The light shines through two windows. It's a cabin!

"Shel-"

"It's a cabin."

"Yes! Isn't that great?"

He stops in his tracks and I walk straight into him.

"Ow! Sheldon!"

"Shhh!"

"What?"

He looks in the direction of the hut, and apparently is on full alert mode. Why?

"Come on! Let's check if the people in there can help us."

"Alright. But be quiet now. We don't know what kind of people are in there."

"What kind of people?"

"Yes, think about it. Who would be in a cabin so deep into the forest by this time? Could be gangsters... Drug lords... A meth lab..."

"You're watching too many movies and tv shows."

"I also watch the news, and I tell you that the world is a nasty place full with criminals and other low-life people."

He has some good arguments, but I'm not willing to let this opportunity pass.

"I still want to go. It will be alright. You'll see."

"You're too trusting. Good thing you have me to save you from walking straight into a trap."

"What do you want to do? Just walk pass it and miss this opportunity to get help? You can't be seriously considering this."

He doesn't say anything, just observing the cabin and its surroundings. We can't make out much though.

"We go and check the place out first. See if there's something suspicious. And then we decide what to do next, ok?"

"Ok."

So we basically sneak closer to the cabin.

"Shhh! Don't walk so loud!"

He whispers now, but even then his voice is positively his typical agitated one. High pitched and thick with fear.

"I'm sorry, but there is lots of brushwoods around. I can't help it."

He just nods and continues to walk closer to the cabin. He apparently doesn't even touch the ground, while I'm trampling so loud, that whoever is in the cabin must have already heard us. With every sound I make, he lets out an annoyed sigh. Which annoys me... Finally we made it, and we stop three yards in front of the cabin. He's kneeling down, and just yanks at my arm pulling me down with him.

"Ow again! Sheldon!"

"SHHHH!"

"Alright!"

Hmmm. He wasn't wrong before, this doesn't look too reassuring. The cabin is really small. Just a door and the two windows. There's a car in front of it. A black SUV. Suspicious indeed. No street. Not even a proper path. They must have driven through the wild... Why would anybody want to have a cabin here? Maybe there's a lake close by?... He'll _never_ going to knock on that door.

"Sheldon. I know this doesn't look too good, but we have to take a chance here."

He inhales deeply and looks at me... Big frightened eyes... Ohhh...

"It'll be alright, I'm sure."

I'm not sure at all! But what's the alternative? Go away and risk being stuck here forever? I'm about to stand up when he grabs my arm.

"Wait. I'll go, and maybe I can sneak a peek through the window first. When it's safe, you can come too."

That's so unbelievable brave I'm lost for words. I just nod and smile at him... But that doesn't feel sufficient enough for what he's about to do. He starts to get up, but I grab his arm, put my hands on his cheeks and pull him into a kiss... It's like I have to put _everything_ I feel for him in this one kiss... To make sure that he knows... Just in case... Just in case it's the last kiss I'm ever going to give him... Which is such a devastating thought, I could cry!... It's over too soon when he breaks it and stands up.

"Stay here and take care of the first aid kit."

"Ok. Be careful."

He nods and smiles shyly before he inhales deeply and walks towards the hut. I never loved him more like I do right now... He's extremely cautious and moves forward very slowly... Nothing bad will happen, I'm sure... Right?... Finally he reaches the outer wall. He stands straight with his back to it, and tiptoes toward the window. For a few moments he just stands there completely still. I can't see his face clearly, but he must be very concentrated... He turns his head a little, and looks through the window... ... ... What is it that he sees? What is happening in there?... ... ... He keeps staring into the cabin... ... ... What the hell is going on in there, that keeps him so captivated? Minutes must have passed! Oh no. Must be something really bad! Why isn't he coming back?... Get away there! Come back to me! Ugh! I'm getting anxious!... Maybe I should get him. Yes, I'll get up and- Oh what a relief! He turns around and walks back... Hm. Not very careful anymore. So he didn't witness a murder. That's something!... Although, now that he's close enough, he does look like he did.

"What is it, Sheldon? You look like you saw a ghost!"

"No ghost. Let's go. We can't knock."

"Why? What did you see? Did they kill someone in there?"

"No. Let's get away from here... Fast."

His tone is strange... Deep and eerily calm... He must be under shock... He picks up the first aid kit, grabs my hand, and starts to walk away from the hut. Just dragging me with him.

"Tell me what you saw. Why can't we just knock?"

"Amy. Let's go!"

"No!"

He turns around when I just stop... His eyes are so dark... Something is off here.

"Amy. Move!"

"No! And if you won't tell me I just go and look for myself."

"Don't do that!"

I jerk myself free from his grip and start walking back. But he just reaches out and clutches my arm.

"Sheldon!"

He lets go off me, and sighs. Like he's giving up or something. This is so damn strange!

"Ok, ok! I tell you."

But he doesn't. Instead he's looking down at the ground before he lifts his head, looking at the sky, and after a few more moments he closes his eyes... What can he possibly have seen, that he has to _brave up _for telling me?

"They were having sex in there."

Ohhh, that of course explains his behavior _perfectly_.

"Really?"

"Why do you sound like that's something worth watching?"

Uhm...

"I'm only relieved that it's just that and nothing bad."

"It was bad enough, I assure you."

"Ok. But we could just wait until they finished, and ask for help then."

"They won't be finishing soon."

"How do you know?"

"Let's just go, alright?"

"No. That's still the best chance we have to get out of here. So we will just wait a little. Besides, I could use another break."

I shouldn't have mentioned a break. Clearly the memories of our last "break" combined with what he just saw, is too much for him to handle. His breathing is dangerously close to hyperventilating.

"Sheldon, calm down. I just want to rest my legs and my eyes. Aren't you tired?"

"No."

Indeed he looks like he's able to run a marathon if necessary.

"But I am. Come on, it can't take that long."

"How do you know how long it can take?"

Argh! I _really_ just want a break, and not waste an opportunity for help. The _only_ opportunity!

"I don't, but sooner or later these two have to stop."

"I doubt it."

I start looking around for a place to rest. I don't care if he wants to or not, but I'm tired, and not willing to miss a chance getting rescued just because he finds naked people unpleasant!... If I think about it, it's kind of funny, that of all the things he could have witnessed, he saw people engaging in intercourse... I bet, he wishes he saw a murder... He follows me, but isn't saying anything anymore. I guess, he just accepted that we're going to stay here now.

"Amy, look over there. There's a deerstand. That'll be at least safe."

We walk over to it, and it does look pretty stable and new. He climbs up the ladder and disappears.

"It looks good here. Come up!"

I do. And I have to say, this is surprisingly roomy... And clean. So it must really be quite new... Anyhow, I just want to rest.

"Since you're not planning to sleep, you can keep watch."

He seems really stressed out. And I guess, the prospect of laying down with me doesn't help his nerves... I'll keep my distance though. I understand that despite everything that has happened tonight, he still has his limits... And so do I... Oh yes! That feels good! Resting my bones again and I just hope that this time, I'll really get some sleep! I lay down and close my eyes... Oh, I have to put my glasses away again. They really are my most valuable possession right now... He's still kneeling and looking out into the forest, obviously not daring to sit or to lay down.

"Sit down Sheldon. It's alright. I really just want to rest a little."

After a few seconds of looking suspiciously at me, he does, and leans against the wall. I mean it though. I _just_ want to find some rest. I'll keep my distance, and let him calm down. I'm a good girlfriend, and I won't try to get any juicy details out of him about what he just witnessed.

"You know. If you think about it, it's kind of romantic."

He just snorts... Yeah, yeah. I know. How "despicable"!

"Two lovers out here in the woods to make love..."

"They're not making 'love', they're... fornicating."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know what the difference looks like."

"How can you _of all people_ know that?"

"Because there are tv shows and movies."

"Movies with people not making love?"

He's not answering... What does he mean?... Does he mean that tv show, we watched together? That really was not very gentle... Or another movie?... _Or_... Can that even be?

"You saw a porn movie?!"

He's still quiet, but now he turns his head in the other direction, so that I can't see his face. Is he ashamed?! So he did! _Whaaat?!... _And why do I find him just incredibly cute right now?... Even though I strongly oppose to the idea of men watching movies in which women are depicted as always ready and available for all sorts of wicked sex games... Not that I ever saw one. I really didn't. My point is though, that Sheldon did, and I really want to know, how in the world that have happened.

"Sheldon? Did you?"

"Yes."

"When? How? And most importantly: _why?"_

"8 years, 6 months and 5 days ago. And to the how and why: Because I lost a bet to Howard."

"And he made you watch a porn?"

"Yes... Well, not all of it, because I was about to throw up on his carpet."

"How much did you see?"

"Awful 156 seconds."

Not even three minutes and he already felt like throwing up?!

"That bad, huh?"

"The worst."

I can't help it, but I find this funny.

"Stop snickering! It was horrible! It took me forever to abandon these images out of my head."

"I'm sorry."

I can't stop laughing.

"Amy! Shhh! Do you want us to be noticed? By _them?"_

So that's even worse than to get noticed by the animals in here?! Wow!... Oh God! My stomach hurts... I'm having a laughing fit! Think about something not funny!... Nope, nothing...

"Amy pleeaase!"

Breathe in... And out... In... And out... That helps... In... And out...

"It's just... This is just 'perfect'! Finally we find possible help, and yet it's no use because Howard traumatized you with watching a porn movie."

"I'm not 'traumatized'."

"What are you then?"

"Opposed to the idea, that this is what intercourse should be like."

"It doesn't have to be like that."

He's quiet. Looking up to the ceiling... So, does that mean, he has ideas about how intercourse should be like?

"I know, I saw my mother."

"Oh God! We're NEVER going to have sex, are we?!"

"Not, if we keep talking about my mother."

He turns around to face me, and I see a small but malicious grin on his face... You ass! I get it. No more of this now!

"Whatever. Let's just rest for a while."

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

What could the light possibly be? Out here? Or maybe we're really close to the edge of the forest... The light is still approximately 27 yards away, but we're moving forward so annoyingly slow. It's better than before though. Not so many fallen trees laying around, less out sticking roots, but still...

"Can you see what it is?"

"No, not yet. But it can't be big."

Somehow I have a bad feeling about this. Like we're walking straight into our doom.

"Hmmm... I don't know Amy."

"What?"

"Don't you think, there would be more signs of civilization by now so close to the light?"

"What do you mean?"

"Shouldn't there be at least a proper path?"

"Maybe we're not close enough yet."

"Yeah, maybe."

I'm getting nervous. I have that feeling in my stomach that I know so well. Fear. I think, I might hold Amy's hand too tight, but I can't help it. Something is about to happen, and it isn't something good. I doubt, that there are nice people driving us to a gas station, and back to the car... Here is really nothing, except for the strange light... We're almost close enough... Just twelve yards left... Looks like... Windows... It's a cabin!

"Shel-"

"It's a cabin."

"Yes! Isn't that great?... Ow! Sheldon!"

"Shhh!"

"What?"

This isn't right. Why would there be a cabin in the middle of nowhere?

"Come on! Let's check if the people in there can help us."

"Alright. But be quiet now. We don't know what kind of people are in there."

"What kind of people?"

"Yes, think about it. Who would be in a cabin so deep into the forest by this time? Could be gangsters... Drug lords... A meth lab..."

"You're watching too many movies and tv shows."

"I also watch the news, and I tell you that the world is a nasty place full with criminals and other low-life people."

"I still want to go. It will be alright. You'll see."

"You're too trusting. Good thing you have me to save you from walking straight into a trap."

"What do you want to do? Just walk pass it and miss this opportunity to get help? You can't be seriously considering this."

She has some good arguments, but I just can't get rid of this unsettling feeling, that this is not safe. We should be cautious. Extremely so!

"Ok. We go and check the place out first. See if there's something suspicious. And then we decide what to do next, ok?"

"Ok."

We have to be quiet... Sneaking closer... But Amy just trampled on some woods.

"Shhh! Don't walk so loud!"

"I'm sorry, but there is lots of brushwoods around. I can't help it."

Apparently she really can't. She's so loud, that whoever is in there must already be aware of our existence... Finally! Safe distance, three yards away from the hut. It's small... Strange... Why is she still standing?

"Ow again! Sheldon!"

"SHHHH!"

"Alright!"

What kind of cabin is that? With just a door and the two windows, but no veranda and no garden or something that would indicate that this is a place for recreation... There's a black SUV in front of it. That itself is pretty suspicious. I see no street, not even a path big enough for a car like that. How did they get here?... Maybe this is a safe house?... CIA? FBI?... We shouldn't be here.

"Sheldon. I know this doesn't look too good, but we have to take a chance here."

At least she sees it too. But she also has a point. If this is a safe house, then there will be agents in there. Hopefully ones on our side... Even though I'm not sure what that means... Also, I'm still kind of on their watch list since that plutonium incident _all_ those many years ago (these people are annoyingly resentful, I have to say), and Amy basically just got off the No Fly list... We're going to be arrested right away!

"It'll be alright, I'm sure."

I'm not sure at all! But what is the alternative? To risk being lost in here forever? What's she doing now? Does _she_ want to go there? That's not right. _I_ should go. If it's really dangerous, she at least can safe herself.

"Wait. I'll go, and maybe I can sneak a peek through the window first. When it's safe, you can come too."

She nods and smiles. I guess to make me feel better. It kind of does, but not much. She grabs my arm before I can stand up and leave. Maybe she changed her mind, about me going? I wou- Oh! She kisses me... So full of... What?... No words... _Love_... Like goodbye... No! No goodbye!

"Stay here and take care of the first aid kit."

"Ok. Be careful."

_Okay, brave up Cooper! What's the worst that can happen?._.. Uhm... Getting shot?... Kidnapped?... Enslaved by druglords for smuggling or cooking blue crystal meth?... Cut to pieces by a serial killer?... Eaten by zombies?... Bitten by vampires?... The horrendous possibilities are _endless_... I kind of feel like I'm walking straight into my death... But better me than Amy... I hope she doesn't have to witness it... How will she be when I'm gone?... Sad and devasted for sure. But for how long? Will she mourn me forever, or will she forget about me? And find someone else... Someone who will sleep with her probably right away. On the _third_ date, as it is customary in our sex obsessed society... Oh, interesting. The thought of _that _makes me even more salty than dying?!... I hope, she'll be happy though. Even though I doubt, she'll find anyone who could possibly be such a fitting match for her as I am. She probably has to settle for someone like that Bert guy... A _geologist_... No, she'll never settle for anything less than a neurobiologist, physicist, or at the very least a chemist or mathematician... So here I am. Pressing myself against the wooden wall... I hear strange mumbling sounds... Doesn't sound like someone being killed though... _Just breathe in and take a look..._ I see a small kitchen... A table and a chair... Where do the sounds come from?... Further to the right there is a- OH DEAR LORD! ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... _Look away!... ... ... ... ... _?_ ... ... ... _?_ ... ... ... Why are you standing there staring?_... ... ... What?... ... ... ... _Go away!._.. ... ... ... What?... _... ... ... ... Are you dumb?! GO AWAY!.._. ... ... ... Oh, yes. Back to Amy... _Don't tell her what you saw!_... Why?... _She'll go and look for herself and you don't want that, do you?._.. No, I don't want that. My smart voice of reason in my brilliant mind is right, as always... Reminds me of that hideous movie Howard made me see eight and half years ago... _Except that this here didn't make you want to throw up now... _What do you know?! That doesn't mean _anything!_

"What is it, Sheldon? You look like you saw a ghost!"

"No ghost. Let's go. We can't knock."

"Why? What did you see? Did they kill someone in there?"

"No. Let's get away from here... Fast."

She doesn't move. Didn't she hear me? We need to go! I just take the first aid kit and grab her arm... Getting away from that "scene"...

"Tell me what you saw. Why can't we just knock?"

"Amy. Let's go!"

"No!"

"Amy. Move!"

"No! And if you won't tell me I just go and look for myself."

"Don't do that!"

I can't let her see that. She'll be shocked... I hope...

"Sheldon!"

Why wouldn't she just listen, and believe me _for once_ when I say that we have to leave? Now I have to tell her.

"Ok, ok! I tell you."

I can't say it. What if she wants to look anyway? Ugh! Just get it out!

"They were having sex in there."

"Really?"

I knew it! She sounds excited! Now she'll go and see for herself!

"Why do you sound like that's something worth watching?"

"I'm only relieved that it's just that and nothing bad."

"It was bad enough, I assure you."

"Ok. But we could just wait until they finished, and ask for help then."

"They won't be finishing soon."

"How do you know?"

I don't, but I really want to get away from here.

"Let's just go, alright?"

"No. That's still the best chance we have to get out of here. So we will just wait a little. Besides, I could use another break."

Oh God! She wants to make out again! _I knew it! _Oh how I wish I would have witnessed a murder!... I don't feel so good... I need air! Why is there no air here?! Again?! What's up with this place?!

"Sheldon, calm down. I just want to rest my legs and my eyes. Aren't you tired?"

Is she kidding me?!

"No."

"But I am. Come on, it can't take that long."

"How do you know how long it can take?"

"I don't, but sooner or later these two have to stop."

"I doubt it."

She just leaves me standing here and starts looking for a place to make out... Or rest... Maybe she really just wants to take a break... I hope... Or not... I'm confused... I better just follow her, making sure she picks an acceptable spot at least... Oh! There's a deerstand. That's as good and safe as climbing up a tree. At least we won't get attacked by some predator.

"Amy, look over there. There's a deerstand. That'll be at least safe."

It looks new and robust. Like the hut... Don't think about the godforsaken hut! Oh no, I can't get the images out of my head... It's like a video clip on repeat... Curse you, eidetic memory!... I get up and check the place out. It's surprisingly clean. That's good.

"It looks good here. Come up!"

She does and instantly unfolds the blanket... To lay down on it... So close... This place is quite squeezed.

"Since you're not planning to sleep, you can keep watch."

She lays there, calm and with her eyes closed... Pretty... _Don't look at her. Just check the parameters. It's your job to make sure she's safe_... Right... Nothing to be heard or seen at the moment... At least something... What is she doing? Ah, just taking off her glasses... She lets out a small moan, when she lays down again and closes her eyes... Oh God! I need to stay away from her... These images in my head... They make me feel fuzzy...

"Sit down Sheldon. It's alright. I really just want to rest a little."

Sitting down is great... But! Distance! That's the most important thing right now! Keep my distance!

"You know. If you think about it, it's kind of romantic."

She's just crazy!

"Two lovers out here in the woods to make love..."

"They're not making 'love', they're... fornicating."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know what the difference looks like."

I shouldn't have said that. She'll want to know how.

"How can you _of all people_ know that?"

I'm so stupid.

"Because there are tv shows and movies."

"Movies with people not making love?"

I'm not going into the details of that terrible experience! She won't know anyway. She never saw something like that! I am sure of it! Not my Amy!

"You saw a porn movie?!"

I'm so ashamed, I can't look at her, and I'm not sure if I ever can again. Not with her knowing, how disturbingly long I was standing there watching... Why did I? Why didn't I turn around immediately? This is so humiliating!

"Sheldon? Did you?"

"Yes."

"When? How? And most importantly: _why?"_

"8 years, 6 months and 5 days ago. And how and why? Because I lost a bet to Howard."

"And he made you watch a porn?"

"Yes... Well, not all of it, because I was about to throw up on his carpet."

"How much did you see?"

"Awful 156 seconds."

It was horrendous!... Admittedly, these two in the cabin weren't exactly like the people in the movie... But that's not the point... So not the point!

"That bad, huh?"

"The worst."

She finds that funny?! One of the most unpleasant moments of my life and she laughs?! HOW inappropriate!

"Stop snickering! It was horrible! It took me forever to abandon these images out of my head."

"I'm sorry."

"Amy! Shhh! Do you want us to be noticed? By _them?"_

She doesn't stop... I wish she would... I wish this wouldn't have happened...

"Amy pleeaase!"

I wish she wouldn't look so adorable laying next to me holding her stomach, little sparkling tears around her eyes, trying to calm down...

"It's just... This is just 'perfect'! Finally we find possible help, and yet it's no use because Howard traumatized you with watching a porn movie."

Pfft! "Traumatized" is a little over-exaggerated.

"I'm not 'traumatized'."

"What are you then?"

"Opposed to the idea, that this is what intercourse should be like."

I shouldn't have said that either. Now she knows, that I have ideas about how sex should be like.

"It doesn't have to be like that."

I won't let her talk about that any further. This topic is no good, and I need to distract myself from thinking about... _things_... What to say now that would shut her up for good? Hmmm... Oh! I know!

"I know, I saw my mother."

"Oh God! We're NEVER going to have sex, are we?!"

"Not, if we keep talking about my mother."

"Whatever. Let's just rest for a while."

That did the job! And now enough of that!

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading :)<strong>

**And no. So not enough of that... **


	13. Watershed

**Chapter 13 - Watershed  
><strong>

**Amy**

I really should try to sleep a little, and let him vanquish this obvious terrible experience of witnessing people having intercourse. Or as he classified it: fornication... Although, he _did_ stand there for quite a while. Definitely longer than three minutes. If it would've been _that_ disgusting, wouldn't he stepped away from the window much earlier? What exactly did he see? Oh, I'm so curious. But! I shouldn't ask him. Really, I shouldn't. I just sleep now... ... ... Oh yeah, I feel falling... ... ... Drifting away... ... ... Hmmm... ... ... Wonderf-

"Amy! Wake up!"

Huh?

"What is it?... Are they done?"

"I don't know."

"Why did you wake me then? Couldn't you let me sleep a little longer?"

He looks a little bit embarrassed. Good! I don't feel even remotely rested enough!

"I'm sorry. I was just laying here and thinking."

He does lay next to me now. Wasn't he sitting, when I fell asleep?

"About what?"

"Uhm..."

"You better tell me now after you woke me up for it... And it better be good."

"Don't be so cranky."

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired. What were you thinking about?"

"About something you said earlier."

"I said a lot."

"About _you_ knowing, what _it _feels like."

Huh? Can't he be a bit more specific?... Wait! _Oh! _I said, I would know what an orgasm feels like. Seriously?! What could he possibly want to say about that now? Hours later?... It's probably something different.

"Yes?"

Alas, he's not saying anything, just looking at me. What is he waiting for?... So it _is_ about that, right? How curious! How immensely curious!... Hmmm. This is really quite nice here. We're both laying on the blanket, our bodies facing each other. Our heads resting on our bended arms. It's so quiet. The moon shines on his face. It's beautiful. I don't think, that we ever have been like that. Just the two of us, so close. This is so peaceful... _Although_, I _really_ want to know what he has to say.

"Sheldon?"

My voice is low, whispering almost. I don't want to disturb the peace._.. Sooo? _What's so interesting about orgasms, that he woke me up for it?

"It's just that... You're wrong."

Huh? Maybe this is about something else after all? I mean, I do know what it feels like. Why would he doubt that?

"About what?"

"You said, that you would know what it feels like, '_unlike me'._ And you're wrong."

It's not about _my_ orgasms. It's about _his! _Seriously now?!

"When?"

"That's highly personal."

Why start this then?

"You know about me."

"Yes, but you were part of a scientific experiment."

_Uhm_... But I better spill the beans, if I want him to tell me more about his... Experiences... Oh, that is so hot. Just thinking of Sheldon experiencing!

"No."

"No?"

"I mean, yes. But that were definitely not the only times I experienced that."

"No?"

"No."

He seems to be relieved... So just to make sure that I got that right: He's basically admitting here, that's he's jerking off?!... What about that Kolinahr nonsense he keeps preaching about?

"If you tell me, I'll tell you."

Oho! What's gotten into him? Suddenly _so_ curious? I can't help but smile... I'm probably grinning all over the place.

"Really?"

"Yes."

He smiles back... I must have woken up in a parallel reality... But alright. If that means, I get to know everything about his "private moments", then I'll share mine happily!

"Ok. What do you want to know?"

"Uhm... Since when?"

"Out of scientific curiosity, I did it once with 17... Then there was the experiment... And then..."

And then I met him, and everything I believed to be true about myself went out of the window...

"And then?"

"And then... uhm... I started to do it again."

"When?"

He knows. It's written all over his face with that slightly pleased expression... Shouldn't it freak him out and not please him?!... Maybe I am dreaming, so I should just go with it.

"Since I met you."

He smiles again... Just a little... But he does!

"How often?"

He's one curious cat tonight!

"I don't count."

"Once a month?"

I wish!

"Maybe."

"Once a week?"

What can I say? I have urges!

"Maybe."

He's quiet for a moment... Was that it? Will he tell me now?

"How?"

Is he kidding me?! But he just lays there next to me, totally calm and apparently _very_ serious about this.

"How?"

"Yes."

We're entering embarrassing territory here...

"Sheldon..."

"Tell me."

I gulp... I can't tell him in _detail_ how I touch myself, can I? I'm _not_ going to mention my good companion Gerard, that's for sure.

"I... uhm... I usually do that under the shower or when I'm taking a bath... But..."

Oh, he _swallows_ now. Does he _like_ that?!

"But?"

He stares at me... Waiting... Breathing slightly faster... _Oh my..._

"I also do it in my bed."

His gaze just got hazy! He must be imagining it. His tongue darts out and he's licking his lips! He _does_ like it! _Oh-my-God!_

"What are you thinking about, when... you do... it?"

His voice just went down a few octaves deeper... Really now, I _am_ dreaming, right? If so, I hope I never wake up!... At least, that's an easy question to answer.

"I think about you."

His eyes lit up! He likes, that I'm thinking about him!

"How?"

"How?"

"Yes. What do I do?"

I'm dying here... I feel warm... No, hot... He hasn't moved an inch, but whatever is going on here, is freaking hot!

"You tell me now."

"You're not finished... _What do I do?"_

He _is_ serious. I can't tell him that, can I? About how I imagine him kissing me deeply, touching me in places, where no one has ever touched me before. About how I fantasize about how it would be, to feel him... But he just keeps looking at me. I should say _something_.

"Uhm... You... uhm... you kiss me."

"How?"

"Passionately."

"Do I do more?"

Oh yes, you do! _A lot _more!

"Yes."

"What?"

"You... touch me."

"Where?"

I see that flickering in his eyes again. And _I_ feel turned on. Very much so in fact. Not that I would know, but this conversation feels a lot like foreplay.

"Everywhere."

The flickering intensifies and he inhales deeply, licking his lips again. He's turned on as well!

"Your turn... Since when?"

"The first time out of curiosity with 19."

"Just this once at that age?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because just like you, I didn't need it."

I notice that he speaks in past tense. Oh God, this is... I don't even know...

"What changed?"

I know, and I'm pretty sure,_ I_ have that pleased expression on _my_ face now.

"I met you, and everything I believed to be true about myself was proven wrong."

What happened to him, while I was sleeping?... Even though, I should still consider, it's possible, that I'm dreaming _right now._

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I sometimes think it is..."

I don't feel hurt by that. He said that without the slightest hint of accusation. And besides, he's still here with me after all these years. He never really left me, despite his persistence to accept any change or his feelings.

"Since when do you do it again?"

He doesn't answer, just looking at me... Probably after the first kiss. I guess, after he came back from his summer journey.

"After I took care of you when you got sick."

Whaaat?! That's over two years ago!

"How often?"

"At first not that often... Every other month... But lately..."

He doesn't need to say more. I get it. With all the kissing...

"How?"

"Under the shower... Naturally."

"What are you thinking about?"

He smiles and I can't help but to return it. This is the _best_ moment _ever!_

"You. I always think about you."

I'm dead!

"What do I do?"

His smile vanishes, and even in the dark, I can see his pupils dilating even more. He must be thinking about whatever it is, he has me do in his... _fantasies_...

"What do I do, Sheldon?"

I whisper now. I feel the tension thick between us. It was never like this before. Not even when we made out earlier.

"You kiss me."

He whispers too and his gaze goes down to my lips... Please, kiss me! Kiss me now!

"Do I do more?"

"You touch me."

"Where do I touch you?"

"Amy..."

I want to know! I want to know everything!

"You don't have to tell me."

We just lay here and look at each other... Oh, how I wish this moment could last forever.

"I've been thinking something else."

Can this even get better?!... Maybe I really died, and now I'm in heaven?

"About what?"

"You asked me, if I'm curious."

I can't breathe! Where did the air go?!

"Yes?"

"I am."

_Ohohohhh myyy God!... _My heart stopped beating for a moment... It's not, that I didn't already suspected it. Which is why I didn't believe his "No" earlier, when we spoke about it. With everything that happened in the months since he kissed me for the first time, I was at least much more hopeful as I was before. But to hear him actually saying it out loud, is something altogether different... But he just lays there, apparently totally at ease with everything... Did I understand him right?

"You are?"

He just nods and keeps looking at me, with these beautiful big and dark eyes... That makes me nervous... Did I _really_ understand him right?

"What does that mean?"

"Just that. I am curious."

But wait! Oh!

"Did you just scratch the 'preliminary' from before?"

"Yes."

I'm having a heart attack! I hear myself inhaling deeply and he smiles again... _Get yourself together Fowler! Ok, so finally he admitted that he wants to sleep with you. No big deal! You kinda knew that anyway..._ True, but still. He said it!... Why though? Why now?

"What made you change your mind?"

"I...uhm..."

Aha! Finally he's showing some familiar hesitation... Oh good! Maybe I'm awake after all, and in my own reality, and not dead.

"I don't want to talk anymore."

HOO!... He pushes himself up, and draws closer. I have to change my position, so that I'm laying on my back now. He hovers his head above mine, and just looks down at me... The army of butterflies in my belly is having a field day... A thrill of anticipation... I know, what's to come. I know, what I'm about to feel. And this time, I'm ready... I can't wait for it... He's already breathing a bit faster, but so am I... Slowly... _Very_ slowly he lowers his head, and I can just close my eyes...

He's kissing me so softly... Everytime he moves his warm lips over mine, I feel tiny tingling waves wandering through my body... This is so wonderful... I raise my arms, and wrap them around his neck and pull him closer... But just a bit... No pressure... His hand on my cheek, caressing me with his fingertips... Just _so_ slowly... Everything so slowly and softly... His fingers draw a line from my face down my neck to my throat... I feel the heat in me rising with every second... He opens his mouth a little... Moaning quietly... I want to taste him again... I need to... The tip of my tongue slowly touches his upper lip and he opens his mouth... ... ... This is just so... ... ... _Perfect_... ... ...

His touch on my face becomes more intense... So does this amazing kiss... Nothing's slow anymore... His hand grabs my neck tightly... I hear him moaning... Not as quietly as before... Or is it me?... I move my hands over his back... And up again over his shoulders to his neck... Through his hair... Oh. I hear the zipper of his jacket, that I am still wearing, and he pushes it to the side, immediately starting to open my own underneath... I open my eyes, when he breaks the kiss. He pushes himself up and now he kneels next to me... Why? Oh! He's grabbing my arms and pulls me up as well. As soon as I sit, he tears the jackets off me... I just can let it happen. I feel like I'm in shock... But the good kind... The great kind... The life altering kind... He pulls me in for a kiss again, and oh! He takes me down with him... ... ... All I feel is his body on top of me... _Completely_ this time... His weight is pressing me to the ground, but it feels wonderful... So wonderful!... ... ... I hear our shallow and fast breaths in the midst of the peaceful quiet of this paradise we're in... I'm thinking too much...

His hand is traveling to my breasts... There are the tingling shock waves again!... ... ... Oh, his scent! His taste! I'm in heaven!... ... ... Although, it's getting uncomfortable now, my kneecaps hurt... What to do?... I just pull my legs out, and bend them a little and- Oh! He's sliding in between them... ... ... Feels great!... But my skirt's pushed up now... ... ... I don't care!... ... ... Good God! He is hard... _Really_ hard... ... ... And I am getting wet... _Really_ wet... ... ...

I need air, I don't want to but I have to breathe... I move my mouth to his cheek and down his throat... Kissing him all the way... He buries his head in my neck... Feeling him breathing in and out so fast, the air on my skin... I shiver everywhere... I want to make him shiver... I trail his pulsing artery with my tongue... Tasting every inch of him... Yes! ... ... ... He presses his body into mine!... ... ... Oh my freaking God!... ... ... He's grinding into me.. ... ... It's amazing!... ... ... Here's the hem of his shirts, and I just can't stop my hands to slide underneath them... ... ... His skin! ... Oh, so warm... Hot... Feverish... ... ... I think I'm going to faint... ... ... He gets more and more fervent... I can feel it... I hear it... He moans over and over again... Is he thinking at all? Why am _I_ thinking at all?... ... ... I feel him kissing my throat... ... ... Licking... ... ... Sucking even a little bit...

He begins to unbutton the cardigan... I'm ok with it... Totally ok... But I also know, I'm wearing two more shirts underneath... He groans in frustration when he realizes that too... I'm having another stroke, I feel like my heart stopped beating altogether when he raises his head and looks at me... The intensity kills me...

"You're wearing too much."

His _voice_ kills me. Deep and hoarse and low. A voice so beautiful I have never heard before... He shifts his body to the side, but our legs still intertwined... What's he up to? He watches his own hand moving from my collarbone over my breasts down to my belly and- OH! Without hesitation he just grabs my shirts and pulls them all up!... I need to lift my back a little, so that he can drag them over my breasts... Hidden behind my bra... And I _so _wish I would wear my Victoria's secret today. But instead it's just a plain white one... He doesn't seem to care though. He's just staring at them... Like he just discovered a long lost world wonder... I think I'm smiling... I'm not nervous at all...

He lifts his head, still breathing hard and I see him gulping... He isn't sure if he can touch me... So I nod... And he does... Oh God! _He does! _He lays his hand on my belly and starts to caress me... Slowly first but with every second more pressing... I close my eyes again, enjoying the feeling of his touch on me... He doesn't waste time and his hand is on my boobs again. His thumbs grazing my once again hard nipples, and I feel more and more aroused... But this time I won't freak out... I grab his head and pull him up for another kiss... Our tongues... Like they're dancing... My hands under his shirts again... Maybe I can too?... I pull on them... Up... And up... I hope he gets what I'm trying to do here and helps me... He does! I think?... He lets go of me and sits straight up... Oh no! Was that it?! He can't stop now?!... But no, he grabs his shirts and takes them off! Oh my! What a glorious sight that is!... I reach my arms out immediately and start to touch him... His arms... His belly... His chest... I run my fingers through the smattering dark hair there to see how it feels... Wonderful... He feels wonderful... His hands are on me again... ... ... His lips on mine... ... ... Our tongues swirling ... This can't possibly getting any better... ... ... ...

Although, it can! He rolls half on top of me again, grabbing my leg on my thigh. He pulls it up, forcing me to bend it and make room for him... ... ... ... He just slides between my legs once more, and doesn't stop for a moment when he presses himself against me... _... ... _Oh, my freaking God! I'm not wearing tights today, and my skirt is way up around my waist now. He's grinding against my panties. My oh so freaking wet panties... ... ... Can he feel it? Can he feel me, like I feel him?..._ Stop thinking now!._.. ... ... ... ... ... ... Oh Jesus! YES!

"Oh God, Sheldon..."

I didn't plan that! It just escaped!... ... ... His head rests on my shoulder, his one hand still clutching my leg, his other wrapped around my neck... He's holding me captured, and I love it!... ... ... ... He's moaning so loud and hard... ... ... ... I think he's coming fast... ... ... ... I'm rising to crescendo as well... ... ... And oh, this is going to be a high one... ... ... Feeling him between my tighs, pushing and pushing and pushing against me... ... ... Rubbing his oh so marvelous manhood- Seriously? This isn't a romance novel!... But he does rub it against my own pleasure zone over and over again... ... ... ... His naked belly on my naked belly... ... ... Skin so hot!... ... ... I feel my hands digging into the skin of his back... ... ... ... I bury my face in his neck and kiss him and he's not slowing down... ... ... ... ... ... He holds me so tight... ... ... ... ... Oh, _here_ it is! He let's out such a deep groan, it's-... ... ... ... ... Ooohhhhh Gooood!... ... ... ... ... This is... ... ... No words... ... ... _Don't scream!_ ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Awesome. AWESOME!... ... ... Oh. I think, I bit him... I did! There's a bite mark on his shoulder... Well, it was all I could do, to prevent myself from screaming out loud and wake up the whole forest!... He's still laying on me panting hard, just like I am... I wish this would never end. I wish we could lay here forever. So close. So warm... I am so beyond happy... ... ... He lifts his head, and looks at me, breathing so fast... I love him so much. Does he know, how much?... He leans down and kisses me. Almost chaste now, in comparison. But sweet... It's just short, and then he pushes himself up and rolls off me... I feel cold instantly... He searches for his shirts while I pull mine down, straighten them and my skirt again. I take a last look at his fabulous bare chest before he puts the the shirts back on.

"I need to... uhm... clean up."

"Sure."

"Do you have a tissue or something?"

"Yes. I have wipes."

"Perfect."

We climb down the ladder, and I hand him a few. He looks around scanning the place for a private spot... He seems to consider that the big tree a few yards away is sufficient, and walks to its direction. I take a look in the other, and find a tree good enough for me to clean up as well... Although my panties are useless now... Ugh!... But I'm not complaining! Not at all!

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

I didn't do me a favor, bringing my mother up... That is seriously a memory, I'd like to cut out of my precious brain for good... Even though I think, considering everything, I handled that pretty cool. Would that have happened a few years ago, I probably still wouldn't be able to speak with, let alone look at her... Anyhow, no reason to think about that now... Or ever...

Amy actually fell asleep here. I was tired before, but I'm _wide_ awake now. Why can't I get these two persons in that cabin out of my head?... I told Amy that they weren't making love but fornicating. Truth is, I don't really know. They were under the sheets mostly... But how they moved... Anyhow! Also, it reminded me of Howard's movie, because it "played" in a cabin at some remote location as well. The man, apparently a "handyman" came to fix the pipes. But the woman didn't even show him one pipe at all. Anyway, I didn't see a lot there either. It was just the beginning, and except for kissing and taking clothes off and some really inappropriate touching, nothing much happened. But that was already enough to make me feel sick. So Howard stopped the video right away. In hindsight, I really shouldn't have agreed to watch it in the first place. But how could I have possibly known, how horrible these movies are? Why men watch them, is beyond me. It didn't do anything for me, beside to reinforce my decision to never engage in activities like that... But I have to admit, the way the handyman ripped off the clothes of that woman, found its way into my dreams lately... Except that, however many shirts_ I_ rip off Amy, I _never_ get to the last one... She's doing that on purpose, I'm sure. To drive me into insanity... _Anyway. _But, there's no denying, that I know what the difference between love making and fornication looks like. Thanks a lot to cable tv. Why they have to include these things in otherwise great shows like "Game of Thrones", I honestly don't know. It's such a buzzkill... For someone trying to survive in the wild, I spend an awful lot of time with thinking about stuff like that. I need to keep my mind occupied with something else now...

I should recite Pi. That always helps: 3,14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 6939... They looked like they enjoyed it... Where was I? Drat!... 3,14159 265... The woman was smiling at the man. Like she's... I don't know... Happy? In love?... Amy smiles at me much more often lately. Which makes _me_ smile a lot more often... And the way they kissed!... No! Get out of my head already! 3,14159 26535 89793 23846... Sweaty... Which is _so_ repellent... Two sweaty bodies grinding at each other... Ugh!... 3,14159 2... But they really didn't seem to mind... I used to mind the thought of exchanging body fluids. But now, the way I'm kissing Amy, there's a lot of saliva involved. And I don't mind that. I also didn't mind her sweaty hand earlier tonight as much I used to. Maybe I wouldn't mind other body fluids...

Ok, from the start: 3,14159 26535 89793... Finding second base was great though. How they would feel without her many many many, _way_ too many layers of shirts and cardigans? Probably even better... Much better... Naked Amy's boobies... _Stop that now!... _3,14159 265...

Look at her. Laying on her side, the legs bended, her head resting on her hands under her cheek. Slightly snoring. Cute... I want to lay down as well... Oh, that is so relaxing!... What bugs me, is something she said earlier. That she thinks, I wouldn't know what an orgasm feels like. I get why she would think that. However, hearing her say that out loud didn't feel good. Like I'm not capable or something. But I am. Not that anyone would know. Not that I would _want_ anyone to know. Except Amy. I want her to know, that I'm not completely clueless. I know little enough of that whole intimacy business... Good God! Now I think, that the fact I'm gratifying myself on a pretty regular basis lately is a _good_ thing?!

Where was I? 3,14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 74944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 34825 34211 70679… Does _she_ have private showers, too? And if so, how often? What is she thinking about? About me? I sure hope so! I should find a way to include that in our Relationship Agreement. No one is allowed to think about others of the opposite gender while pleasuring oneself...

3,14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 749... So, if I think about it _logically_, then I can draw only one conclusion: I enjoy my very private secret showers. I enjoy kissing Amy. I also enjoy touching her. Therefore I must be enjoying having a more intense physical relationship with her, culminating in an orgasm as well... Probably even more... Because of her soft lips... And skin... And warmth... Wow. Now I'm looking for "logical" reasons to grope Amy? Must be the surrounding, the looming doom of death here... No more of that!

3,14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 8327- Ah, screw Pi! How does it feel for her? I always feel quite uplifted. How does she do it? With her hand most likely. But I also know, that there are all sorts of crazy things for women. They call them "toys", even though I highly doubt that this is an accurate term for stuff like that. Just that I know about these things, is unacceptable... Penny... And Howard again, with his big mouth, always happy to explain and show things to me, that I know nothing about... Amy doesn't have the "toys" though, I am sure... Ugh! Now I have images in my head of Amy with that pretty huge thing that Penny had under her bed... How Leonard can compete with that, I don't know. He can't most likely. I on the other hand, _could_. Being tall and all. Every body part of mine fits perfectly in relation to my height. I'm sure, Amy would prefer me any time, and not a fake- _Anyhow!_ I know she doesn't use these things to begin with. Not my girlfriend. Not my Amy!

_Although_, what do I know about her private showers? Maybe she doesn't even shower when she's doing it? Maybe she's in her bed then? Laying there. Naked most likely. Touching herself down there. And her boobs... Ohhh dear. This thing is getting out of hand!... Pi! I should give it another try.

3,14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41... How would it feel, being with Amy like that? Like these two in the hut? How would making love be? I'm wondering a lot about that. Under the shower, and in my dreams. Even at work sometimes, when I get one of my vixen's sexting messages... Huh?! I think I heard something... Where did it come from?... No, all is quiet... Am I hearing things now?... Amy's still sleeping. The moon shines on her face. It's really beautiful. She really is... Maybe an animal is preying us. Waiting for us to come down and to attack... If that would be so, I should wake her up and enjoy the time we have left together... Shouldn't I feel much more upset? I feel disturbingly calm... Maybe I gave up? Maybe I accepted fate?... _Maybe_ finding out what Amy does alone with herself is just much more interesting?

"Amy! Wake up!"

She does with a start... Whoops.

"What is it?"

It's so sweet how she rubs her eyes, blinking rapidly. Coming back to her senses...

"Are they done?"

"I don't know."

"Why did you wake me then? Couldn't you let me sleep a little longer?"

Uhm... But now that she's awake, no need to waste the opportunity... And let's not forget the preying animal. We might not have much time left!

"I'm sorry. I was just laying here and thinking."

"About what?"

"Uhm..."

But how to start? Unfortunately, she is no mind reader.

"You better tell me now after you woke me up for it... And it better be good."

"Don't be so cranky."

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired. What were you thinking about?"

"About something you said earlier."

"I said a lot."

"About _you_ knowing, what _it _feels like."

She lookes puzzled. She doesn't know what I mean. I have to realize, that it's only in theory an easy thing to do... Ah, she remembers. A curious look on her face, wondering what I have possibly to say.

"Yes?"

I should just be honest. She loves me. I have nothing to fear.

"Sheldon?"

Her voice is low. Like she doesn't want to disturb the peaceful quiet around us. She doesn't know about the preying animal and I won't scare her... She looks calm and comfortable. That calms me. I feel good. I feel safe.

"It's just that..."

It's just that I want you to know, that I know _perfectly_ well how an orgasm feels like, as I am having those quite often.

"You're wrong."

She doesn't get it. I have to be more specific. Should we survive, our next joint project will be finding a way of reading our minds.

"About what?"

"You said, that you would know what it feels like, _'__unlike me'._ And you're wrong."

I see a hint of surprise flashing on her face. She tries to hide it though... Sweet.

"When?"

Whoops! I didn't expect _her_ to ask questions like that! I haven't thought that through properly.

"That's highly personal."

"You know about me."

"Yes, but you were part of a scientific experiment."

"No."

"No?"

"I mean, yes. But that were definitely not the only times I experienced that."

"No?"

"No."

I expected that anyway, but knowing feels better. _Knowing_ things _always_ feels better... So now, let's get to the interesting part. But she won't spill the beans, if I won't. So I better brave up to share some very private information.

"If you tell me, I'll tell you."

She looks surprised again, and I don't blame her. I don't really know what's gotten into me, being so curious about these things tonight... Maybe we got drawn into a parallel universe... No, we're not. I just want to know Amy's secrets... _All _of them.

"Really?"

She's in. Of course, I knew she couldn't resist the opportunity to have me say things. To confess things. She smiles again, and I can't help to smile too... This is going to be highly interesting! Embarrassing, but interesting none the less.

"Yes."

"Ok. What do you want to know?"

"Uhm... Since when?"

"Out of scientific curiosity, I did it once with 17..."

I knew she wouldn't just give into primitive urges, and waste her time with this, like any other regular pheromone addicted teenager. I'm so proud of her.

"Then there was the experiment... And then..."

She doesn't continue. She just looks at me with a look so lovingly, that I feel my heart drop into my stomach... That happens a lot, when I'm around her, so I'm not worried anymore about my cardiac condition.

"And then?"

"And then... uhm... I started to do it again."

"When?"

When she met me. I know that to be true, and strangely it makes me feel extremely good.

"Since I met you."

Hmmm...

"How often?"

She raises her eyebrows a bit... Yes, I _am_ a curious cat tonight!

"I don't count."

No? I do.

"Once a month?"

"Maybe."

Nope.

"Once a week?"

"Maybe."

Ah, that's closer to the truth... Oh good, so it's not only me having embarrassing many unscheduled showers... _Does_ she do that under the shower?

"How?"

I think, she fears I lost my mind. Even though she lays there apparently calm, I can see confusion in her eyes.

"How?"

"Yes."

The confusion gets replaced with uncertainty. She doesn't want to tell me. I understand, but I also need to know.

"Sheldon..."

"Tell me."

Oh, my voice? Lower and slightly husky... I'm just so excited by the possibility of hearing her confessing all the things that I imagine her to do... She gulps... Cute...

"I... uhm... I usually do that under the shower or when I'm taking a bath... But..."

I can't breathe... Amy under the shower... Naked... She said "But". But what?!

"But?"

"I also do it in my bed."

Her bed! Naked Amy in her bed... Her hands on her... Touching... My lips are dry suddenly.

"What are you thinking about, when... you do... it?"

Me! You only think about me!

"I think about you."

Good... So good... How do you think about me?

"How?"

"How?"

"Yes. What do I do?"

"You tell me now."

"You're not finished... _What do I do?"_

She's nervous. Her breathing is faster now. But I _need_ to hear it. Do I kiss her, like I do when I'm imagining us together? Do I touch her, like I imagine her to touch me? In places where no one has ever touched me before?

"Uhm... You... uhm... you kiss me."

"How?"

"Passionately."

Like we already did tonight? Like we will do?... I want to kiss you now...

"Do I do more?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"You... touch me."

I think, my heart stopped beating. I don't mind... Touching Amy... Touching naked Amy...

"Where?"

I'm not sure, if I even can handle more information. But I can't stop asking. I can't stop my vivid imagination of her and me doing things...

"Everywhere."

_Everywhere_... I hear myself inhaling deeply... But the air is not enough... I feel a minor tornado going through my stomach...

"Your turn... Since when?"

My turn... I really haven't thought this through!

"The first time out of curiosity with 19."

"Just this once at that age?"

Of course. I wouldn't have done it at all, if I didn't need to check, if my genitals are fully functioning... And aesthetically pleasing.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because just like you, I didn't need it."

"What changed?"

She knows, and that pleased expression on her face shows it... Vixen!

"I met you, and everything I believed to be true about myself was proven wrong."

_Everything_ changed since I met her.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I sometimes think it is..."

I blamed her, I blamed myself, I fought her, I fought myself, but nothing could stop it. And now, I've just accepted it... Mostly... And I'm alright.

"Since when do you do it again?"

I wish I could say just recently.

"After I took care of you when you got sick."

That bath was my doom. I didn't really look, because I'm a gentleman, but I peeked. Just a little bit. Really! But it was enough to set my imagination, and my lower body parts in motion.

"How often?"

"At first not that often... Every other month... But lately..."

The kissing! Oh all the kissing! How am I supposed to restrain myself?! And God knows, how often I'm gonna need a shower now, with all the french kissing and groping boobies?! I'm never going to leave the bathroom!... And _there_ goes my Nobel Prize down the drain... So sad...

"How?"

"Under the shower... Naturally."

"What are you thinking about?"

She wants to hear it as much as I did before. That makes me smile, and she smiles too, waiting for me to say, what she already knows to be true.

"You. I always think about you."

She sighs. Of course, the appropriate girlie reaction.

"What do I do?"

When I have my eyes closed, feeling the stream of warm water on my skin, I'm not alone. You kiss me deeply. I feel your hands on my body. On my naked body... And it's not me stroking myself...

"What do I do, Sheldon?"

She whispers and something is different now... Like the air is thicker... All I see are her lips...

"You kiss me."

"Do I do more?"

"You touch me."

"Where do I touch you?"

I can't tell her... Can I?

"Amy..."

"You don't have to tell me."

This moment I feel so utterly at ease with everything. The silence, the moon shining, the air fresh and Amy. This is simply perfect. I wish it could always be like this... Minus the forest and the deadly animals. But anyway. And I'm aware, that this qualifies as ridiculously romantic, but I don't care!... What I do care about is something else though. Earlier, I didn't want to tell her, but now, I want to. I want to tell her, that I am very curious indeed...

"I've been thinking about something else."

I still whisper. I don't want to disturb the peace. But I need her to know, that I want to make love to her.

"About what?"

"You asked me, if I'm curious."

She stopped breathing... Here it is... When I say it, when I make it real, there's no way back... Am I sure?

"Yes?"

"I am."

Who knew? It's no big deal... She on the other side seems to be a little bit... Hmmm... I don't know... Upset? No. That's her dream come true... Nervous? Probably...

"You are?... What does that mean?"

"Just that. I am curious."

"Did you just scratch the 'preliminary' from before?"

"Yes."

I hope she starts breathing again soon. And her hand on her chest where her heart his, is indeed a bit unsettling. Is she feeling alright?

"What made you change your mind?"

Who knows, how she'll react, when I'd tell her all the details of my dreams. About her, our bodies... And genitals... She might stop breathing altogether!

"I... uhm..."

I don't want to tell her, but I want to show her. I want to do some of the things, I've been thinking about.

"I don't want to talk anymore."

I crawl over to her, and she rolls from the side to her back... Her boobs right in front of me... But I want to kiss her first, and not grab them without any warning. Right?... Oh, her eyes, dark and yet shiny... I already get excited. My breathing is faster and shallow, but so is hers... Her wonderful soft and warm lips... Everytime she moves them over mine, I feel tiny electric shocks wandering through my body...

Her arms around my neck now, pulling me closer... Oh, tugging on her lower lip! Delicious!... Her velvety skin again... But slowly... I have time... My fingertips trail lines on her cheek... Down her neck... Her throat... And here's the stupid jacket in the way... I will get rid of that again. Yes, I will undress her. Good God! Just the idea of her exposed- OH! Her tongue!... I hear her moaning... Not as quietly as before... Or is it me?... Her hands on my back and neck... Through my hair...

I wanted to do something else... Oh, yes, the damn jacket. It needs to be off. All of these layers need to be gone... Drat! She's wearing _two_ jackets and God knows what else underneath them... I'll need to break the kiss to free her from them. But I don't want to stop kissing her... _Do it fast then... _I get up and just rip them off her... Done!... I _need_ to feel her lips again and her tongue... I feel... What exactly?... Hunger... Yes, it's like when I crave red vines... I crave her... But more... _Much_ more...

Her body pressed to the ground underneath me... Her breasts again... Hmmm... Perfect... But the fabric of her cardigan is in the way... Could I- What's she doing now?! OH MY FREAKING DEAR LORD! I'm... I'm _between_ her marvelous thighs!... Wasn't she wearing a skirt?... Who cares... I feel the heated skin of her legs through my pants... Is she as aroused as I am? I wish I'd know... ... ... Her hands all over me... ... ... Kissing my neck... ... ... And ohhh that's good!... Licking me... ... ... I feel my body _shiver_... ... ... I need to feel her again... Down _there_... Pushing just a bit more... ... ... And again... ... ... And again... ... ... She moans constantly... ... ... Is she wet yet?... _What?!..._ But oh, just the thought makes me push harder!... ... ... Her hands under my shirt... So good!... Her scent! Her taste! My tongue on her skin... So hot, so smooth, so luscious!... Ah, the cardigan in my way... _Get it off!..._ Buttons... Buttons... Argh! Another shirt! Torture!

"You're wearing too much."

That's not going to stop me... Ah, here's the hem of her shirts. I just pull them all up... Finally! _Here_ they are... Behind that bra... That I wish wouldn't be there... But they still look amazing... Really _amazing_... Wonderful... _Really_ wonderful... My breathing is dangerously fast... I want to touch her sooo badly... Would she mind? I look at her, and her eyes are dark and they look back at me with an intensity that makes my stomach flip... Please let me- Yay, she nods! Thank the Lord!... I caress her _naked_ belly... Carefully... I don't want to miss anything of her phenomenal body... My hand moves slowly around her navel... And up... And up... Her breasts... Under the stupid bra... But still better than before. It's thin fabric. Almost not there at all... Her nipples... ... ... ... Hard again... ... ... ... Ohhh sweet Jesus!

She moans and her hands just grab me and pull me closer... Hmmm... Her tongue again... ... ... Her hands down at my lower back fondling me... Tingling... But in a good, not the funny way... She pulls at my shirts... Why?... Oh! Yes, I just get them off, and she starts to touch me right away... Oh! I just want to feel her, be closer to her, like before... I need to get between her legs again... ... ... Good... ... ... So good!... ... ... ... I feel her... ... ... ... She feels sultry... ... ... ... I'm sure she's wet... ... ... ... ... ... OH YES!

"Oh God, Sheldon..."

Her voice... Amazing... ... ... More... I need more ... ... ... ... ... ... Faster... ... ... ... ... ... Faster... ... ... ... ... ... Oh God... ... ... ... Almost there... ... ... ... She's coming too!... ... ... ... She's shivering so hard... ... ... ... _Faster_... ... ... ... She bites me! ... ... ... ... ... That's _sooooo_ good!... ... ... ... ... ...

Awesome! AWESOME!... ... ... I feel like... Like... I don't know... I never felt like this before... So close to her, so warm and soft... So _happy_... I need air, but I just can't lift my head and leave her neck... This was great!... And not embarrassing at all... But uuhhhh, I feel wet down there... Of course, the messy situation... Ugh! I have to get up and get it off me!... But no! Careful! I don't want to upset her again... I just kiss her, to show her that everything is alright... Good, and now let's get rid of this sticky mess!... Oh, it's cold! Where are my shirts?... Ah, there!... She looks at me, but not upset... I hope she liked it as much as I did... One last look at her boobs before she pulls down the shirts... I hope I'll see them soon again... Without a bra preferably...

"I need to... uhm... clean up."

"Sure."

"Do you have a tissue or something?"

"Yes. I have wipes."

She is the best girlfriend on this planet!

"Perfect."

We're climbing up the ladder. So, where to go?... I can't do that in front of her. Pulling down my pants and taking my penis out to clean up? No. There are boundaries!... Of some sort... But still! Not to cross anytime soon... Over there looks sufficient... Ugh! Fast! I really need to get this over with. What an unfortunate side effect of the best activity _ever!_

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading. <strong>

**Maybe this chapter is too long, but I didn't know how to split it, without ruining the atmosphere that I wanted to create here. I hope I did and that you enjoyed it.**

**I said it before, but seriously: Writing sexy times with only their thoughts to work with, is one hell of a challenge. Usually, if it's any good that is, people don't think that much or detailed while being busy. But then you wouldn't know what's going on :). And I'm very aware, that Sheldon, and probably Amy as well, are getting more and more OOC now. But I'll try not to overdo it.**

**On another note: I won't be able to update that frequently anymore, because my vacation is sadly over, and this was the last chapter I could finish revising.  
><strong>


	14. Always

**Chapter 14 - Always  
><strong>

**Amy**

How I wish I had an extra pair of underpants with me. But who would have ever believed that I would be needing one? I would dismissed this person as utterly crazy! I don't believe what just happened. One minute he runs away just from seeing people having sex, and the next he's on top of me dry humping!... I talk too much with Penny... But still, what has happened while I was sleeping? Apparently he was thinking about all kinds of erotic things. It must have been enormously difficult for him to admit, that he wants to engage in such things after all. Not only to me, but especially to himself. But he did. He _really_ did. And he didn't even seem to be upset about it. Although, since he came back last summer, he was mostly pretty cool about everything. So that's probably a development that didn't miraculously start tonight, but much earlier. Of course it did. He just confessed that he was gratifying himself since he took care of me two years ago. Must have been the bath... I knew, he peeked! Yay!... _Oh man! _If I had only known, that this is what it takes for a night of torrid lovemaking, I would have pretended to be sick _constantly,_ and dragged him into a forest a lot sooner!... Oh what a wonderful day today is! And my oh my, he knows _amazingly_ well how to touch a woman... But I shouldn't be surprised. When he said that evening in his room, that he hasn't ruled it out, I was kind of disappointed at first. But then he played that fantasy game with me, and the things he had his character do... Hoo! I mean, the detailed description made me think, that he has some secret knowledge of how to please a woman... Me, I mean me. Because he'll _never_ please anyone else. He wouldn't want to, but it's also not allowed according to our very, _extremely_ binding contract. Anyhow. What's taking him so long? We should look if the lucky couple is done. We waited for... Hmmm... I don't really know how much time has passed... Ah, there he is. Huh? What's funny?

"Why are you grinning like that? Do I look funny?"

"Huh? No. I'm not grinning."

"You are."

"Am not."

"You are! It's right there in your face! A big and if I may add, slightly stupid grin!"

"Nothing about me is stupid. You should know that."

At least that annoying grin disappeared. We really don't have time for this.

"What time is it, Sheldon?"

"A quarter to three."

"We should look if they're done."

"Yeah."

I hope they're finished. I need something to eat. I'm even hungrier than I was before... He stops suddenly. Why?

"Oh no! The car is gone!"

"What?!"

"Look! It's not here anymore, and the lights are off as well."

"How could we not hear them?"

He just throws an annoyed look at me... Yeah, yeah, I know... But still everything was so quiet... Or was it?... Maybe I just blended everything out?... Anyway, this sucks!

"This is just perfect!"

Funny how he can be sarcastic, and still not get it a lot of times when others are. But he has a point.

"Yes. This sucks."

"What are we going to do now?"

"Let's see, if they have food in there."

"You want to break in?"

He looks shocked... Really Sheldon?!

"What are _you_ so outraged about? I don't even know how often I found you in my apartment."

"That's different."

"How is that different? I leave my apartment _locked_, and when I get home, you're there."

"You make it sound like I'd do that all the time. Besides, you're my girlfriend. It's not really breaking in then."

He has some disturbing views of what's illegal and what not. But somehow I find this bad boy attitude really attractive... I mean, _really_... I mean, just HOO!

"You do that often enough, and it's still breaking in."

"That's what you think."

"It's what everybody, including the police, thinks. For someone who values his privacy so much, you have amazingly low respect for other peoples."

"I'm not disturbing others peoples privacy. Only yours, and you shouldn't even think like that. I'm your boyfriend."

"How often did you go into Penny's apartment disturbing her, just because you needed something?"

"Whenever I had a good reason to do so."

"You just think they're good reasons."

"And I'm always reasonable, so what's your point?"

"I don't really know. Just open the door now."

He kneels down and inspects the lock... Kind of sexy... And exciting. Now we're trespassing. Stealing even...

"I wouldn't have to break into your place, if you would just give me a key."

Really now?!

"Would I get one to your place then?"

"It's different."

"How?"

"I don't live alone."

"Penny has a key."

"For emergencies."

"Why would you want to have access to my place, but I'm not allowed to get into yours?"

"You're not in the habit of breaking in, I am. And I would appreciate a key instead."

I'm too hungry and exhausted to argue his very flawed logic.

"If you find me food, you'll get a key."

"Deal."

He opens the first aid kit now and searches for something... He opens the wrapping of... A syringe? What for?

"What do you want with that?"

"For picking the lock... Do you have a bobby pin?"

"No."

"Hmmm... A nail file then?"

"Yes. I should have one in my purse."

But where?... Ah, here it is... He's fumbling on the lock with the needle of the syringe and the file... Reminds me of MacGyver... Makes me giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

He looks up at me for a moment. Disapprovingly.

"I'm not making fun of you. I promise. I find it really fascinating watching you picking the lock like a pro... Where did you learn that?"

"Please. I built a nuclear reactor and a sonic death ray as a kid. This is nothing."

He fumbles on the lock for a few more moments, before he opens it.

"Tada!"

He gets up and pushes the door open with a big proud smile on his face.

"Thank you."

"Ugh! It reeks in here!"

It does! It's terrible!

"Open the window and let the door open."

He does while I look for the light switch.

"Look over there is a kitchenette... But no refrigerator."

I walk over and open the cabinets... Please, please, please let there be something to eat! Anything!... Ugh! Anything but beans...

"They have cans of beans."

"Ugh!"

"I know... But I have to eat something now."

"I hate beans in cans."

He's wrinkling his nose in disgust. He looks so cute when he does that.

"You can eat it or not, but I will."

"Ugh! Ugh! UGH!"

"We should be grateful to have found something at all."

"And we have to eat it cold?"

Ugh! That is indeed a disgusting thought.

"Amy, here's a portable burner... We just need to find a plug socket."

"Over here. And I also found a can opener. Can you look for a pot?"

He does, while I open the cans. They smell awful. But I could eat them even cold... He found everything we need to heat them up. This won't be a pleasant meal, that's for sure.

"Shall we eat them in here or outside?"

"Outside. I don't feel comfortable in here."

He throws a quick look over to the bed... A bed. I wish it wouldn't be so... compromised... Sleeping in a bed would be sooo nice!

"Alright. Tell me when you're done. I take a look around the cabin."

The air is great! Whatever they did in there, some fresh air wouldn't have hurt the fun... I guess... I walk around the cabin looking for a place to sit down... There's indeed a bench at the backside... Strange, that these two lovers met here. In the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere in this hunters cabin... Clearly they had to meet in secrecy, because they're having an affair. Would a hotel room not be much more easier?... Maybe they have to hide... Maybe the husband... _or_ the wife, is some big shot in town. Maybe even dangerous. Maybe they fear for their lives should they be discovered... Oh how romantic! Two star crossed lovers meeting in a forest by night to make love... Maybe he's the butler... Or better: the gardener...

"Amy? Where are you?"

I hear a hint of panic in his voice. Awww...

"I'm here! Behind the cabin."

He comes around with two plates, and hands me one before he sits down.

"I found some spices. I did the best I could to make this more bearable."

"Thanks. I'm just glad to get something into my stomach."

We sit in silence, while we wait for the beans to cool down... But I just can't wait any longer... Oh this is good! Definitely not the taste, but to eat again! Feels like the last meal was a lifetime ago!

"How is it?"

"Sufficient."

"That bad?"

"Pretty much."

He lets out a hopeless sigh before he takes the first bite. He makes a face while chewing, and I think he might just spit it out. He can't be that stupid, can he? God knows, when we will find something else to eat again?!... No, he swallows it. Good... We keep eating, forcing ourselves to ignore the smell and the taste. But I feel already stronger... We have to make a plan how to go on from here. I don't believe, that we let our best chance to get rescued pass, just because WE were making out! It would be funny, if I wouldn't have the feeling that our situation is not about to improve anytime soon. But I don't regret it. How could I?... Oh thank God! It's done! I've eaten all of the worst meal of my life. And now a huge sip of water to wash away the horrible taste... Better! Let's hope my stomach doesn't give up digesting it. There's just so much I can take. Peeing in the woods is really enough!... He still hasn't eaten even half of the plate. He's always a slow eater. Picking in his food with his fork, examing every tiny ingredient. I'm sure most of the time, what he eats is cold. But this takes even longer than usual. He looks like he has to brave up every time before he takes a bite.

"It's half past three now. Should we wait here for the sunrise, or should we continue walking?"

"The sun won't come up for over three hours. We would be wasting too much time."

"But here we'd have a shelter. Remember that it's supposed to rain tonight. And besides, we also don't know which direction to take."

"We follow the trail of the car. They must have been taking a route to the street."

"Yes, that's true. Ok then. When you're finished, _whenever_ that'll be, we go."

"I just can't stuff this into my mouth like you did. Did you even chew?"

"Not much, so I reduced the time to taste it."

"Good point."

He eats faster now. Shoveling one spoon after the other into his mouth until the plate is empty.

"Here, take a sip."

I hand him my bottle of water and for a split second he hesitates. Really? After all the french kissing?! He seems to consider that as well, takes it and gulps down HUGE sips!

"Sheldon! Slow down! We don't have that much water left."

He stops and looks slightly embarrassed when he gives me the more or less empty bottle back.

"Sorry."

"We should clean up and get going."

I'm about to stand up when he grabs my arm. What now? _He_ didn't want to waste time.

"Wait a moment."

"What is it?"

"I have something to tell you."

"Ok. What?"

He doesn't answer and looks around instead. I'm sure he doesn't realize that his hand is still clutching my arm. What does he want to say? I'm curious. The things he said tonight, were always _pret-ty_ good- no, _great!_

"I was just thinking that... Well, that if I have to be here in the first place, I'm glad that I'm here with you."

"I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else either."

He lets go of my arm when he turns around, and looks at me with his big blue puppy eyes... I'm melting...

"And since we're most likely not going to survive the night after all, I wanted you to know, that I do love you very much..."

Awww... Just _awww_...

"... And I know that I always will... Even though always might end every minute now."

It still takes my breath away, when he says _sooo_ romantic things like that.

"I love you too very much and always will."

"I know."

He smiles at me, before he leans back, watches the sky and the pretty stars... I'll be _so_ pissed if always would really end here tonight... _Enormously_ pissed!

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

How I wish I had clean underwear with me. Why haven't I thought about taking fresh clothes with me?... On the other side, how could I've known, that I'll be needing ones?... Ugh! This is just despicable! Maybe I should just get them off... And walk around without undies?!... I did before, when I let the dice decide stuff and actually, it's not so bad. Better than this clammy disaster for sure... Alright, but I do it fast. I don't want any creepy crawlies disappearing into places, I'm not comfortable having examined by Amy... What to do with it though? I can't throw it away like that, can I? Polluting nature with my dirty underwear?!... Hmmm... Amy's wearing my jacket again, so I guess, I have to put them into my pants pocket... Walking around with the shameful evidence of sinful activities. Good thing, my mother doesn't know... I have no idea, how _anyone_ in their right mind could define _this _as sinful? How can something that feels _so_ good be possibly considered wrong? Although, I'm not quite sure if the act itself is the sin, or the fact that we're doing it without being married... Ah, what do I care? I know, there's no God judging us, and my mother doesn't have to know anyway... Ever!... I have to say, I feel _pret-ty_ good... Sooo, she had an orgasm... _I _made her reach her peak... Hmmm. I remember hearing the guys talk about that some women have troubles getting there, and how they doubted their performances because of that... _Sooo_, I really don't have to doubt _anything_ about my performance I suppose...

"Why are you grinning like that? Do I look funny?"

"Huh? No. I'm not grinning."

"You are."

"Am not."

Am I?

"You are! It's right there in your face! A big and if I may add, slightly stupid grin!"

"Nothing about me is stupid. You should know that."

She really should!

"What time is it, Sheldon?"

"A quarter to three."

"We should look if they're done."

"Yeah."

I'm sure they must be finished. How long can that take? Amy and I were just... uhm... "busy" for 26 minutes... I'm so hungry now. Forget the gas, the first stop is a diner! Oh, what I would do for a burger! Or just fries. Or a sandwich. Nothing too fancy. Just any- WHERE IS THE CAR?!

"Oh no! The car is gone!"

"What?!"

"Look! It's not here anymore, and the lights are off as well."

"How could we not hear them?"

What an unnecessary question! Because we were busy with our own peak reaching! DRAT!... But she's not completely wrong. I remember that everything was quiet. Although, I don't remember much when things got... close... That never happened before... Interesting. But also a little bit scary... Anyhow, this just sucks!

"This is just perfect!"

"Yes. This sucks."

"What are we going to do now?"

"Let's see if they have food in there."

"You want to break in?"

Apparently there are really no rules left anymore.

"What are _you_ so outraged about? I don't even know how often I found you in my apartment."

So?

"That's different."

"How is that different? I leave my apartment _locked,_ and when I get home, you're there."

So?

"You make it sound like I'd do that all the time. Besides, you're my girlfriend. It's not really breaking in then."

"You do that often enough, and it's still breaking in."

"That's what you think."

"It's what everybody, including the police, thinks. For someone who values his privacy so much, you have amzingly low respect for other peoples."

Pfft!

"I'm not disturbing others peoples privacy. Only yours, and you shouldn't even think like that. I'm your boyfriend."

"How often did you go into Penny's apartment disturbing her, just because you needed something?"

"Whenever I had a good reason to do so."

"You just think they're good reasons."

"And I'm always reasonable, so what's your point?"

"I don't really know. Just open the door now."

Let's see what we have here... Hmmm... Looks easy... What's her problem anyway? It doesn't happen often to begin with. And does she seriously expect me to wait in the hall for her to come home? Although, I have to admit, that it's a good thing that her neighbors know me by now. Doesn't keep them from looking disapprovingly though, when I kneel in front of Amy's door lock...

"I wouldn't have to break into your place, if you would just give me a key."

"Would I get one to your place then?"

Uhm...

"It's different."

"How?"

"I don't live alone."

Yet.

"Penny has a key."

"For emergencies."

And stealing groceries.

"Why would you want to have access to my place, but I'm not allowed to get into yours?"

Because I would use it for justifiable situations, and not to lure my way into living with her... Or to see her bathing-... _Anyhow_, the point is, I have good reasons and she doesn't... Although, why would I even mind? Now? After _that?..._ Whatever.

"You're not in the habit of breaking in, I am. And I would appreciate a key instead."

Oh boy, I'm sooo hungry, I don't even know if I make _any_ sense.

"If you find me food, you'll get a key."

"Deal."

So let's open this thing... I need tools... Drat! My equipment for this is also in the car. I really didn't think of anything! Maybe there's something useful in the first aid kit... Ah, a syringe.

"What do you want with that?"

"For picking the lock... Do you have a bobby pin?"

"No."

"Hmmm... A nail file then?"

"Yes. I should have one in my purse."

What does she have in there, that it takes so long to find a file?... Finally... So, concentrate!... Why is she giggling now?

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

Is she laughing at me?! Hey missy, I'm working as fast as I can without proper equipment and without light!

"I'm not making fun of you. I promise. I find it really fascinating watching you picking the lock like a pro... Where did you learn that?"

"Please. I built a nuclear reactor and a sonic death ray as a kid. This is nothing."

Almost there... And here it is!

"Tada!"

I'm so good!

"Thank you."

Yikes!

"Ugh! It reeks in here!"

"Open the window and let the door open."

"Look over there is a kitchenette... But no refrigerator."

Amy looks into the cabinets. I just hope, there's something to eat. Anything! Anything but beans though. Anything but beans! Please, please, plea-

"They have cans of beans."

"Ugh!"

"I know... But I have to eat something now."

"I hate beans in cans."

"You can eat it or not, but I will."

"Ugh! Ugh! UGH!"

"We should be grateful to have found something at all."

Grateful is quite a stretch, but I see her point. How are we supposed to eat them?

"And we have to eat it cold?"

She makes a face showing her disgust. I knew, she would think the same. Maybe there's something here to heat it up... Oh good!

"Amy, here's a portable burner... We just need to find a plug socket."

"Over here. And I also found a can opener. Can you look for a pot?"

A pot... Where would I put- Here... Oh my sensitive smelling is being tortured! This is awful!... But she said I have to feed her, so I just have to man up... The smell doesn't get better while they're heating up.

"Shall we eat them in here or outside?"

"Outside. I don't feel comfortable in here."

"Alright. Tell me when you're done. I take a look around the cabin."

I really don't want to be near that place over _there_ longer as absolutely necessary. I'm just glad, that the images of their doings are not as prominent in my brain as they were before. The images I have now are much more pleasant- No, they _are _pleasant while the others were _not_. It's a good thing that Amy and I replaced them with our own... Hmmm... Amy... Amy... Amy... So maybe I should reflect about what happened in a rational way. How to proceed from here? I have to acknowledge, that this night Amy and I are moving forward in light speed. I also have to admit that it's because of me and not her... Even though she makes me do these things... Ah, I'm too exhausted and hungry to find the strength to put the blame on her. It's all me. I kissed her even though it's not Date Night. I kept insisting on holding hands... For safety, but nonetheless... I started this whole second base business after I hit her over the head. And then I rolled on top of her, basically imitating intercourse. Which is why I walk around without my underwear now... What happened? Why is that so? For two years a few occasional sessions of masturbation kept everything in check... Well, almost... The truth is, that Kolinahr is not as helpful as it used to be. In fact, it doesn't work at all anymore. At all! What a disappointment. Anyway. Since I'm back from my summer "vacation", I find myself thinking about coitus with Amy much more frequently. Hence the repeated showers. But why in the name of Spock would I possibly declare _openly_ that I want to sleep with her? Do we have to put coitus in it now, when we change the Relationship Agreement? Do we have to set a date? Frequency? Positions?... Positions... Love making positions... Amy underneath me... Naked... Amy on top of- ANYHOW... Ahh, the horrible stuff in the pot is boiling. I don't believe we have to eat that... Where is she now?

"Amy? Where are you?"

Oh God! I don't see her! I don't hear her! Someone or some_thing_ took her!

"I'm here! Behind the cabin."

Thank God!... Ugh! My nerves are so weak. They usually are, but here it's even worse.

"I found some spices... I did the best I could to make this more bearable."

"Thanks. I'm just glad to get something into my stomach."

She must be even hungrier than I am. It's still very hot, but she's already eating this sorry excuse for a meal.

"How is it?"

"Sufficient."

"That bad?"

"Pretty much."

Alright. Here it is. How bad can it be?... UUUUUHHHHHHGGGGGG! This is _horrible! _I can't eat it!... _No! Don't spit it out! Just get it over with... _Yeah, right. Who knows when we're going to find something better. _If_ we're ever going to find something better. It is indeed highly unfortunate that we missed these two people. Amy was right, they were our best chance to get out of here. I'm not sure though, if I would've been able to actually look at them, not to mention speak to them after what I've seen them doing. Anyhow, now we're alone again. I have to say, I'm positively surprised, that we haven't been attacked by something bigger and more dangerous yet. Especially during making out earlier. How reckless we were. Presenting ourselves so defenseless. We wouldn't even heard if something would've sneaked up to us. At least, this time we were safe on that deer stand... The truth is though, that I'm pretty sure, I would have done it, even if we wouldn't have been up there... Didn't I promise, that I would keep her safe here? But what did I do? Ripping her clothes off just to get closer to her boobs! This is unacceptable! If we're going to be attacked now and maybe- no, _probably_ die in here, it'll be all my fault!... And the fault of her alluring body parts... No. I'm aware that our misfortune is all on me. I should make sure she knows before we die. Yes, I should get my things in order. My conscience should be clear. I don't want to die with regrets... Look at the stars, how bright they shine. I never take time to look at them at home. I should, even though we hardly see any with all the city lights. I did back in Texas. Watching the dark sky and the sparkling stars, wondering how being up there in space would be like. I always imagined it to be perfect. No stupid brother and sister, no yelling parents, no bullies beating me up. Peaceful, that's what I thought it would be... Like it is here in a way... Minus the deathly animals... But with Amy... I would take Amy with me now. I would take Amy _everywhere_ with me...

"It's half past three now. Should we wait here for the sunrise or should we continue walking?"

Huh? Great. Here I am, ready to pour my heart out, and she wants to make some life important decisions.

"The sun won't come up for over three hours. We would be wasting too much time."

"But here we'd have a shelter. Remember that it's supposed to rain tonight. And besides, we also don't know which direction to take."

"We follow the trail of the car. They must have been taking a route to the street."

"Yes, that's true. Ok then. When you're finished, _whenever_ that'll be, we go."

I heard that! The slightly annoyed and impatient tone. Well, _unlike_ her, I have a very sensitive taste that just feels very violated!

"I just can't stuff this into my mouth like you did. Did you even chew?"

"Not much, so I reduced the time to taste it."

Good point.

"Good point."

Let's get this over with then... _Don't chew, just swallow it!..._ It's awful... I'm going to throw up... Okay, done! DONE!

"Here, take a sip."

Uhm... Germs?... _Seriously?! You just examined her mouth with your tongue! Repeatedly!... _True... Oh, this is good! Water! More water!

"Sheldon! Slow down! We don't have that much water left."

Whoops. How embarrassing. And now I've drunken all of our water supply? I'm really no use in here.

"Sorry."

"We should clean up and get going."

"Wait a moment."

"What is it?"

"I have something to tell you."

"Ok. What?"

"I was just thinking that... Well, that if I have to be here in the first place, I'm glad that I'm here with you."

"I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else either."

She looks at me with her beautiful _(Really now?)..._ _Really_ beautiful eyes... My parasite is fully awake, causing an upheaval in my belly... _But!_ That's no reason to get overly hippy dippy. State the facts, that's all!

"And since we're most likely not going to survive the night after all, I wanted you to know, that I do love you very much..."

She beams at me... Awww...

"And I know that I always will... Even though always might end every minute now."

"I love you too very much and always will."

"I know."

I know she does. For a long time now. It scared me, but mostly because I realized, that the reason I was even able to understand it, was the simple fact that I recognized the feeling. If I wouldn't have known what love feels like, I wouldn't have known that she does... Well, admittedly I spent years with researching what these funny feelings could possibly mean. But eventually I was absolutely sure that it's _not_ a parasite, and that the only logical explanation was that I'm in love with her. When I came to this conclusion though, the next thing I know is me jumping on a train. It also didn't help that everything else around me crumbled down. However, on the train I had to find out, that being away from Amy didn't make the feeling stop. The contrary actually. I missed her _so_ badly and yet, I couldn't just come home. Who knows how long I would've stayed away, if I wouldn't have been robbed?... Anyhow, when I was back, I just stopped fighting and it was a relief! Suddenly I felt much more relaxed and at ease with everything. So telling her, when she stood at the door to my room at "Prom Night" was no big deal at all. She freaked out though, and went straight into my bedroom... And I kicked her out... Stupid me... But that day I felt extremely pressured about the whole mating rituals... How that has changed since then... Since only a few hours ago... Curious... Curious indeed...

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading :)<strong>

**I was watching "The Champagne Reflection" the other day, and what Sheldon said after he posted his "Fun With Flags" episode, is pretty much how I feel every time I post a new chapter. Will you like it? Am I on the right track? No one responded yet, oh no! I blew it! And once, the first review comes in, I'm thrilled! So thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews, especially for the last chapter. That really wasn't an easy one, and I'm soooo relieved, that you liked it! And I really hope, you'll continue to enjoy this story.**


	15. Losing Trails

**Chapter 15 - Losing Trails**

**Amy**

"Let's go, Sheldon. Ok?"

"Ok."

We go back into the cabin, and while he cleans up the dishes, I take a look around to see if there's something useful that we should take with us. I'm aware that this would be stealing, but who knows what we will be faced with next... But here's nothing. No flashlight. No water. No nothing... What a strange place.

"Alright, I'm done. Could you find anything?"

"No."

"What a strange place. Well, let's get out of here then."

He doesn't take long to lock the door again. We pick up our stuff, and then start looking for the way the car must have taken.

"Look, Amy. There are skid marks and over there are some broken woods. They drove in this direction."

Trees, trees, trees and more trees. Funny, I'm kinda used to the surrounding by now. I really wouldn't mind leaving it soon though... But I feel great. Not only are my stomach and other body parts perfectly satisfied, but hearing that he will _always_ love me was just the most wonderful thing ever! When he first said it on the evening of the Prom, it overwhelmed me. I was simply shocked. Good shocked, but still with no oxygen. For the longest time I resisted the urge to tell him how I feel. But that evening he seemed so upset about what Leonard and Penny have told him about the conventional mating rituals, I just wanted to make him feel better. And I also wanted him to know, that I love him no matter if we're ever going to have coitus or not. I have to admit, at that time I actually believed that he loves me as well. There were signs all over the place. I just wasn't really sure, if _he_ knew it too. I was very certain though, that he wasn't ready to say it. But when the moment came, he just did... _"I love you too."_... I still get goosebumps!

I love, how he just takes my hand now. Interestingly, my hand doesn't seem to get sweaty anymore. Could it be that in just a few hours, I got so used to the feeling that my body doesn't overreact to his touch anymore? Possibly... If I think about the last hours, and what amazing things have happened, it seems so unreal... But maybe it's just the situation. Everything seems to be urgent. The fear of being lost, getting injured, or even death makes people reconsider their life choices. Reflecting on what they've done right and what wrong, what they haven't done yet. So maybe what happened here is pretty usual under these circumstances... Even if not, I don't care. Even if no one would ever believe it, I wouldn't mind... I actually wouldn't mind, if no one would ever know. Maybe that we were here, but not the intimate details... Hm, that's peculiar. I always wished, I could provide some juicy details on Girls Night. But I don't feel like sharing these moments with them... Even though I'd really like to rub it in Bernadette's face, that Sheldon wants me to express my sexuality. Very much so!...

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"I don't want to tell the others about tonight."

"Why? Shouldn't we celebrate our survival, _should_ we survive?"

"That's not what I mean. I'm talking about our _progression_ if you will, regarding the physical area of our relationship."

"Ohhh, _that_. Yes. We shouldn't tell anyone."

Why is he so eager to keep it a secret?

"Why don't _you_ want the others to know?"

"Because it's none of their business."

"It's not. And yet, we usually know a lot about things that are none of our business."

"Just because they can't keep their mouths shut, doesn't mean we can't either... Why are you so eager to keep it a secret? I would've thought, you're happy to inform Penny and Bernadette about my fully functional and aesthetical pleasing genitals."

"Yes, but I just don't think, they would appreciate it the way this occurrence deserves."

I'm sure, would I tell my girls, they would tell the guys right away. And they most definitely would use this information to make fun of Sheldon. He really shouldn't have lectured them that much about his "superior" control of his hind brain...

"You're right of course. They would just make fun of me- Of us... Uhm... While we're at it... What do you think about it?"

"About your genitals? Well, I haven't seen-"

"No. I mean, the event itself... Should we include that in the Agreement?"

Oho! So he plans to repeat that, right? HOO! When? Where? _When?! _Soon? Like now? Say at that tree over there? Like they did in that brilliant novel I read last month? It was set in 18th century France, and the two secret lovers met in a château park. It was soooo hot! The dream I had that night about Sheldon... My oh my... But he'd never do something like that. Never!... Or would he?... I feel hot suddenly. Just the thought of him pushing me against that tree, kissing me, touching me, ripping off my cloth-

"So what are you thinking?"

Huh?

"About what?"

"About the Agreement. Should we add... uhm... making out?"

_Okay, Fowler. Stay cool! _

"Yes, I think we should."

He looks relieved. Really?... But he does, and he smiles cutely at me. Awww... So, I'm guessing, he'll come up with all sorts of rules and limits and whatnot. Even though, he turned out to be quite spontaneous tonight... I'm not getting any cooler, if I keep thinking about the deer stand...

"How should we proceed?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think, we should put in it?"

"I'm not thinking anything. I'm trying to catch up with you and your apparently not so fixed 'boundaries not to cross anytime soon'."

He just snorts and throws a disapproving look at me... Overreact much?

"Amy. What can I say? When you _seduce_ me like that."

Oh hell to the no!

"I did not seduce you. I'd say, _you_ seduced me!"

"I did not!"

"Where you there?! _You_ started the whole 'What-do-you-do-when-you-touch-yourself' talk!"

"Uhm..."

"Really, I'm _still_ surprised. Where did all the curiosity suddenly come from?"

"Uhm..."

"I suppose these two lovebirds in the cabin weren't so repellent to watch after all, were they?"

"Uhm..."

"Made you wonder what it would be like, huh?"

"Uhm..."

"And since you're _so_ determined to believe that we're going to die in this forest anyway, you decided, to find out for yourself, didn't you?"

"Uhm..."

"Makes _me_ wonder though, if you _really_ believe that we're facing death, or if you just found a perfect excuse to loosen up a bit."

"Death _is_ all around us. Just because we can't see or hear it, doesn't mean it's not there!"

"Maybe... Maybe _not_..."

"_Anyhow_... So back to our original topic."

"Your genitals."

"If you're not serious about this, we can forget it."

"Sorry. I am serious... Honestly..."

No, I'm not. I figured it out. He's not scared at all. Or at least not that much as he wants me to believe... Or himself... Kinda cute... At least he also took the opportunity to confess his undying love, and not only to grope my boobs.

"We should determine, how often and under what circumstances it'll be appropriate to engage in such activities."

"How often?"

"Yes, like on Date Nights."

If we do that every week, coitus won't be long away.

"Every Date Night?"

"No, you're right."

Huh? I didn't say, I don't want it every week. Damn!

"Every third should be sufficient to keep us... uhm... controlled and yet satisfied."

No. It won't. However, I just take it. I don't want to appear sex addicted... Which I can assume I'll be anyway, when this gets a regular thing... And there goes my Nobel Prize down the drain... So sad...

"I agree. What parameters do you have in mind?"

"Well, we have to be careful with my nosy roommate and his fiancée. So I suggest, only when they're gone or at your place. Which reminds me. Now that I've successfully fed you, do I get a key to your apartment?"

If that means he would wait for me all ready and set on my bed. Sure!

"Sure."

"Good. So what do you think?"

"I agree to the proposed terms."

"There's more to consider, though. Like what's allowed to do and what not."

"Tell me what's not allowed."

"Uhm..."

Maybe we should wait with getting completely naked. I mean, I'd love to see Sheldon naked, but him seeing me? I'm not so sure about that.

"How about keeping an appropriate amount of clothes on?"

"What's appropriate?"

"You tell me. You're the expert in these things. I just follow your lead..."

He likes that. Being the expert in all things, especially in setting new appropriate boundaries...

"Yes, yes... You're right... So, uhm, how about everything above the waist can go and below the waist needs to stay on?"

Am I ready to show him my breasts?... Not really. Why, I have no idea and maybe I change my mind right away, when we do that the next time. But better be on the safe side.

"The bra stays on."

"Really? Why? You've seen my chest _fully_ exposed! How is that fair?"

Excuse me?! I'm just dumbfounded... And with such a weak argument no less... Tsk, tsk, tsk...

"I won't grace that with an answer. Get over it. The bra stays on."

"Alright... If you _insist_ on making this amendment clearly gender biased. Talk about double standards!"

Wow! That's so low. The guys would be pleased to know, that he's a "real boy" after all...

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously!"

He's apparently very indignant about my lacking support for equality... Well, well, well, Dr. Cooper. Did we just step down and joined the rest of us horny lesser beings?... Whoops!

"_Anyhow. _Now that we have cleared that. What about the things which are not allowed?"

He's not answering. What would I want to do, or not do? Hmmm...

"Well, everything we did tonight seemed sufficient. We could just repeat that."

I guess, that would be okay. But on the other hand, there are some things I'd like to try out.

"Shouldn't we be more open minded to try things out?"

"What things?"

"I don't know. Things..."

I have to admit, I'd like to touch his fully functional genitals. Felt impressive and really good rubbing against me... On the other side, the idea of him touching my fully functional genitals is not so pleasant. Not because I wouldn't enjoy it. I _so_ would. But I'm a little afraid how he would react to the _extent_ of my arousal. He could never handle that much body fluids!

"What _things_, Amy?"

"Nah, nevermind."

"Good. So next date, presuming that we'll get out of here, your place or mine?"

I can't stop the laughter! Oh boy, I never believed that I would hear this question out of Sheldon's mouth _ever!_

"What's so funny now?"

"Nothing. Really nothing. My place."

"Good."

He smiles. Somewhat proudly... I just can't stop looking at him. I'm sure I have a huge grin plastered on my face right now. I know, I repeat myself, but damn! I would be _so _mad if he turned out to be right after all, and we'll die tonight.

"Careful. There are sticking roots out of the ground again."

"Oh, thanks."

He helps me to step over them, and when we reach a huge fallen tree he climbs up first before holding his hands out to make it easier for me to get up there. It's pretty slippery from all the moss... And then he jumps down, and holds me tight by my hands when I do the same... Oh! We bump into each other, and for a moment I see this flickering in his eyes again... Kiss me, Sheldon. Just do it!... But no, sadly he steps away and we continue walking... _Waaait a moment..._

"Sheldon. I have a bad feeling about this."

"Are you trying to, excuse my ordinary wording, 'to get my motor running'?"

"How would that get your motor running?"

"You quoted Han Solo. I thought you'd knew."

Han who again?

"No. I really have a bad feeling."

"How so?"

"Haven't you wondered, how the car could've passed that fallen tree?"

He stops immediately and turns around, staring at me with a shocked face.

"Son of a bitch!"

OH! Cursing! And not even the cute version.

"NO! NO! NO! We lost the trail! _How_ could that have happened?"

I highly suspect it had something to do with us determining our new make out rules, and not paying attention to anything else around us. I won't say so though. He's still a flight risk, and could just decide that "obviously" nothing good can come out of having and talking about anything sex related.

"It's dark, Sheldon. It's confusing with all the trees and stuff..."

"No! I wasn't careful. I didn't pay attention! Because of all the hideous sex talk!"

Damn! He lets go of my hand and I see a rant coming...

"Sheldon, calm down. Please."

"No! I won't calm down. We lost them, _twice! _Just because we're not able to constrain ourselves for _just - a - little_ _- while_ from all this touching and sex stuff! I knew this would happen! Once we go down that path all is lost!"

Oh noooooo...

"Sheldon, please."

"This is how it's going to be from now on. Me thinking _only_ about when I can touch your boobs again! Distracting me from _everything_ else important! How am I supposed to get the Nobel Prize _ever_ when all I think about is you and your fancy female sex organs!? Why do I not just lay down here, and wait for death to release me from what surely will be a meaningless life anyway!"

He almost screams now. I just let him. Besides, he has a point. We _were _distracted and didn't set our priorities right. Who cares when and how we will make out again, if we're _never_ going to leave this damned forest!?

"Sheldon. It's ok to be upset, but we're not going to give up. We just walk back until we find the trail again."

He looks at me, and tries to abate... I really want to hug him, but I doubt that it would make him feel better right now.

"How can you be so calm? Aren't you even a _little_ upset about this?"

"I am. But we came a long way already, and I'm just really optimistic that everything will be good in the end."

"You can't know that."

"No I can't. But what's the alternative?"

He looks around, and after a few moments, he sighs deeply, takes my hand, and squeezes it tightly... We turn around, and off we are again, walking back... Forever walking... I just hope, we'll find the trail again soon... Here's the fallen tree again. Once more, he gets up first and helps me. I really have to be caref-

"AAHHHH!"

"Amy! OW!"

OUCH! I skid off the trunk and fell directly into Sheldon... And now we're both laying on the ground... I'm on top of him... And how he grabs my arms so tight... He's so close... But so strangely blurry... NOOO! My glasses!

"DON'T MOVE! I lost my glasses!"

Oh God, my glasses! I'M BLIND!

"Do you see them, Sheldon?"

He lifts his head a little to take a look around.

"No. I have to get up."

I carefully get off him and stand up, after I checked the ground with my hands. He gets up too and searches for my glasses.

"It's so dark, Amy. I can't see what's on the ground."

I guess, he's kneeling down now, because I can't see his figure anymore... Oh! What happ- _What's_ _that sound?! _Broken glass...

"Sheldon?"

"Amy, I'm sorry."

He didn't step on them. I did, because he bumped with his head into my knees and I lost my footing. I could cry!

"Can you please take a look if they're completely broken, or if I can at least see something through them without risking glass splinter in my eyes."

I really don't have much hope, though.

"So?"

"I'm sorry..."

I can't stop the tears... This is just sooo unbelievably terrible! What, oh God, _what_ have I done to deserve this?!... I feel Sheldon close by my side, and oh! He hugs me! And I don't care, if I'm ruining his shirts with my tears! I never let go of him ever again!... Never!

"Please stop crying."

"I try... It's just... It seems that really _nothing_ is working in our favor tonight. And now I can't see _anything_ anymore. Sheldon, you really have to lead me now."

"I will. I promise, I'll take good care of you."

"I know."

I have to let go of him. I don't want to, but we have to move forward. I dry my face with the sleeve of his jacket, and look around me. All is so dark and fuzzy. Ugh! This is all so tiresome. I just want to get out of this dark hell!

"Let's go, Sheldon."

* * *

><p><strong>Sheldon<strong>

"Let's go, Sheldon. Ok?"

"Ok."

We go back into the cabin and I start to do the dishes while she's snooping around. Opening every cabinet and drawer... Women... What's so interesting about others people's lifes?... This was the most horrible meal I ever had. I'll never eat beans again. Ever!

"Alright, I'm done. Could you find anything?"

"No."

"What a strange place. Well, let's get out of here then."

I lock the door again in a second, and now let's see where the car drove to... Ah, here!

"Look, Amy. There are skid marks and over there are some broken woods. They drove in this direction."

I feel so much better now. I'm not hungry and not so tired anymore. Also, my conscience is clear. Not to mention, that I still feel quite uplifted from the moment on the deer stand... I really should concentrate on finding a way home. How far can the edge of the forest possibly be away?... Walking without undies is strange. But at the same time pretty liberating. If I wouldn't fear an accident and that strangers might have to undress me, I would consider leaving them off as a regular thing... I still feel her... I still feel my... _excitement_ hard on her... I get excited again... So I better think about something else. About something less exciting. Something that will keep me from wishing I could just pin her up against that huge tree over there- _What was that?!_ It's not appropriate to think something like that! First, where did I get that idea from? And second, Amy would never let me do that! Pushing her against a tree?! And her shirts ripped off and her skirt moved up. That useless bra out of the way. Wait a second! I think, I saw something like that in a TV show. On HBO or Showtime. Their shows are always full of stuff like that. Why am I even watching?

I should think about an equation. Or I should reflect about the very interesting article I read about dark matter... Sooo?... Nothing? I should worry about my current disinterest in physics... _Would_ Amy let me do that? Would she be shocked or pleasantly surprised? Would she moan again?... Pi! 3,14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41... Would she get that hot again? Would she rip off _my_ shirts? Would she kiss me like that again?... Damn!... Dark matter. Interesting indeed. The article was very well written, and had lots of starting-points worth to follow up when I'm back in the office... _If_ I'll ever get back... We should include making out into the Agreement. With specific terms and conditions. No one is pinning anyone up against anything! Rules! Boundaries not to cross anytime soon!... Should I bring it up or do I wait if she does? I don't want her to think, that all I'm interested in now is making out with her. That I'm some sort of sex addicted maniac, not able to control my hind brain. A slave to my endocrine system. I am nothing of the sort!... Anyway, how to bring that up in an elegant randomly way?

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"I don't want to tell the others about tonight."

Huh? Why would she want to keep our adventure a secret?

"Why? Shouldn't we celebrate our survival, _should_ we survive?"

"That's not what I mean. I'm talking about our _progression_ if you will, regarding the physical area of our relationship."

Oh! What a fortunate coincidence that she would bring this up now... Maybe she can read my mind after all?... Uhhh, no! I don't want her to know about the pinning up trees thing...

"Ohhh, _that_. Yes. We shouldn't tell anyone."

"Why don't _you_ want the others to know?"

"Because it's none of their business."

"It's not. And yet, we usually know a lot about things that are none of our business."

"Just because they can't keep their mouths shut, doesn't mean we can't either."

Why wouldn't she want to tell her girlfriends? Don't they usually blab about everything?

"Why are you so eager to keep it a secret? I would've thought, you're happy to inform Penny and Bernadette about my fully functional and aesthetical pleasing genitals."

"Yes, but I just don't think, they would appreciate it the way this occurrence deserves."

Good point. Besides, they would tell their significant others right away, and that can never happen! My life would turn into hell should the mediocre engineer know what I did tonight... Oh, the humiliation! The degradation! The shame!

"You're right of course. They would just make fun of me- Of us... Uhm..."

Now or never...

"While we're at it... What do you think about it?"

"About your genitals? Well, I haven't seen-"

"No. I mean, the event itself... Should we include that in the Agreement?"

Why isn't she saying anything? What's so interesting about that tree over there, that she stares at it like that?... Oh no, don't think about trees! She probably just thinks, what a enormous huge one that is, while I'm thinking about pushing her against it and kiss her, and touch her, and rip her clothes off, and- _Stop that now!_

"So what are you thinking?"

"About what?"

Seriously?! For years she wanted to get physical, and now that I'm asking her to make it official, she doesn't even listen?!

"About the Agreement. Should we add... uhm... making out?"

"Yes, I think we should."

Good! What a relief!... Really? Now I'm _relieved_ that she wants me to touch her?! This forest must be enchanted! I'm sure!... But oh look! How cute she smiles at me. Awww... Okay now! Let's stay cool! I'm a man after all, and we have important things to discuss... Although, I'm not quite sure, how... She knows, right? I mean, she probably has it all planned out for years.

"How should we proceed?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think, we should put in it?"

"I'm not thinking anything. I'm trying to catch up with you and your apparently not so fixed 'boundaries not to cross anytime soon'."

Okay, I get it! I'm not the most reliable person when it comes to my own set limits. Besides, it's not really my fault to begin with.

"Amy. What can I say? When you _seduce_ me like that."

She snorts somewhat indignantly... Why? I'm right. It's not me to blame here... Really!... -ish...

"I did not seduce you. I'd say, _you_ seduced me!"

"I did not!"

Uhm...

"Where you there?! _You_ started the whole 'What-do-you-do-when-you-touch-yourself' talk!"

Uhm...

"Uhm..."

"Really, I'm _still_ surprised. Where did all the curiosity suddenly come from?"

I beg you brain, don't abandon me now!

"Uhm..."

"I suppose these two lovebirds in the cabin weren't so repellent to watch after all, were they?"

Think of something!... _Anything!_

"Uhm..."

"Made you wonder what it would be like, huh?"

It would be awesome! _Awesome!..._ Uhm...

"Uhm..."

"And since you're _so_ determined to believe that we're going to die in this forest anyway, you decided, to find out for yourself, didn't you?"

I'm so disappointed in you, brain, I have no words!

"Uhm..."

"Makes _me_ wonder though, if you _really_ believe that we're facing death, or if you just found a perfect excuse to loosen up a bit."

Finally!

"Death _is_ all around us. Just because we can't see or hear it, doesn't mean it's not there!"

"Maybe... Maybe _not_..."

Enough of that now!

"Anyhow... So back to our original topic."

"Your genitals."

No! But also kind of yes...

"If you're not serious about this, we can forget it."

"Sorry. I am serious... Honestly..."

I just choose to believe her. Even though her face doesn't really reflect any honesty... As far as I can tell... Whatever.

"We should determine, how often and under what circumstances it'll be appropriate to engage in such activities."

"How often?"

"Yes, like on Date Nights."

If we do that every week, having coitus won't be long away...

"Every Date Night?"

"No, you're right. Every third should be sufficient to keep us... uhm... controlled and yet satisfied."

Yes. That'll be perfect. Basically it's just once a month and the rest of the time I can dedicate my brilliance to get my Nobel Prize and general admiration... Also, once a month doesn't sound too oversexed...

"I agree. What parameters do you have in mind?"

"Well, we have to be careful with my nosy roommate and his fiancée. So I suggest, only when they're gone or at your place. Which reminds me. Now that I've successfully fed you, do I get a key to your apartment?"

"Sure."

"Good. So what do you think?"

"I agree to the proposed terms."

"There's more to consider, though. Like what's allowed to do and what not."

"Tell me what's not allowed."

How should I know? Just a few hours ago, _nothing_ of what we did was allowed.

"Uhm..."

"How about keeping an appropriate amount of clothes on?"

"What's appropriate?"

"You tell me. You're the expert in these things. I just follow your lead..."

Drat! I'm no expert at all! But I shouldn't show weakness... I am the man! I know stuff! I decide stuff!

"Yes, yes... You're right... So, uhm, how about everything above the waist can go and below the waist needs to stay on?"

Sheldon and his brain! Sheldon and his brain!... I'm so smart, it even astounds _me_...

"The bra stays on."

What?! Nooo...

"Really? Why? You've seen my chest _fully_ exposed! How is that fair?"

Uhhh, she looks at me like I'm an idiot... But it isn't fair!

"I won't grace that with an answer. Get over it. The bra stays on."

But it's still not fair! _At all!_

"Alright... If you _insist_ on making this amendment clearly gender biased... Talk about double standards!"

"Seriously?"

She wanted me to find second base for years, and now that I have she puts limits to it! You better make up your mind the next time you want me do to something, I might like it!

"Yeah, seriously!"

"_Anyhow. _Now that we have cleared that. What about the things which are not allowed?"

Again with the questions I have no answer for. I don't even know what exactly we could do. I basically just acted on instinct earlier. That worked out alright...

"Well, everything we did tonight seemed sufficient. We could just repeat that."

"Shouldn't we be more open minded to try things out?"

Has she something specific in mind?

"What things?"

"I don't know. Things..."

I don't know about "things"...

"What _things_, Amy?"

"Nah, nevermind."

"Good. So next date, presuming that we'll get out of here, your place or mine?"

What now? Laughing at me _again_?! That's not really reassuring to be honest...

"What's so funny now?"

"Nothing. Really nothing. My place."

"Good."

So now we have clear parameters how we can enjoy each other in a carnal way, and still be concentrated on achieving our main goals. We are such a superior couple! If everyone would handle these matters in this rational way, the world would be a better and more importantly ordered place... Uh! There are bumps again.

"Careful. There are sticking roots out of the ground again."

"Oh, thanks."

I need to make sure, she doesn't fall over them... And here's a fallen tree again. A pretty big one. Must have made one hell of mess when it fell down... Uh oh! Amy just stumbled into me... Close... Too close!... _Kiss her! Just do it! She wouldn't mind!..._ No! I won't break my own rules again! Not even ten minutes after I set them up? That would be a new embarrassing record!... _But kissing is allowed at any time, remember!..._ True... But no! Once we finally found a way out of here, there will be lots of time for kissing... Lots of time!

"Sheldon. I have a bad feeling about this."

Ohhh boy... I'm such a weak man... Is her intention to drive me crazy? It's working...

"Are you trying to, excuse my ordinary wording, 'to get my motor running'?"

"How would that get your motor running?"

"You quoted Han Solo. I thought you'd knew."

"No. I really have a bad feeling."

Oh.

"How so?"

"Haven't you wondered, how the car could've passed that fallen tree?"

WHAT?!

"Son of a bitch! NO! NO! NO! We lost the trail! How could that have happened?"

"It's dark, Sheldon. It's confusing with all the trees and stuff..."

"No! I wasn't careful. I didn't pay attention! Because of all the hideous sex talk!"

It is hideous! I knew it!

"Sheldon, calm down. Please."

"No! I won't calm down. We lost them, _twice! _Just because we're not able to constrain ourselves for _just - a - little_ _- while_ from all this touching and sex stuff! I knew this would happen! Once we go down that path all is lost!"

"Sheldon, please."

"This is how it's going to be from now on. Me thinking _only_ about when I can touch your boobs again! Distracting me from _everything_ else important! How am I supposed to get the Nobel Prize _ever_ when all I think about is you and your fancy female sex organs!? Why do I not just lay down here, and wait for death to release me from what surely will be a meaningless life anyway!"

"Sheldon. It's ok to be upset, but we're not going to give up. We just walk back until we find the trail again."

Not giving up?! I already did! When I kissed her the first time tonight! And since then it's all I think about! I'm lost in all these new sensations and _ugh!_ Feelings... It's unacceptable!... It is... But look at her. She looks afraid. And I'm sure it's not because of the frightening surrounding, but because of my screaming... I really should calm down... Breathe in... And out... In... And out... And I really shouldn't yell at her...

"How can you be so calm? Aren't you even a _little_ upset about this?"

"I am. But we came a long way already and I'm just really optimistic that everything will be good in the end."

"You can't know that."

"No I can't. But what's the alternative?"

Alll I see is darkness... Freaking trees and bushes and darkness... But there's no alternative... Holding her hand is so comforting... This forest _is_ doomed... It doesn't have an end... We'll walk forever... That stupid tree trunk again... Up again... Down again... And now, let's get Amy safe over-

"AAHHHH!"

"Amy! OW!"

OUCH! My back! This hurts so bad! I freaking hate this place!... I don't hate Amy laying on top of me though... So close... So warm... Her lips... Right there... Right here... _Uhm..._

"DON'T MOVE! I lost my glasses!... Do you see them, Sheldon?"

"No. I have to get up."

She slowly crawls off me and I need to be careful too, when I get up. They must be here somewhere... Ugh! I can't see anything!

"It's so dark, Amy. I can't see what's on the ground."

I get down on my knees and look for them... I'll find them!... Ow, my head! What's that? Oh, Amy's legs... Ohhh nooo... And that were her glasses breaking...

"Sheldon?"

"Amy, I'm sorry."

She inhales deeply. My poor Amy.

"Can you please take a look if they're completely broken, or if I can at least see something through them without risking glass splinter in my eyes."

I pick up the remains of her glasses, and they're completely broken. This is a nightmare indeed! Without her glasses she is basically blind especially in the dark.

"So?"

"I'm sorry..."

Oh nooo... She's crying! Sobbing really... I feel a sting where my heart is... A hug! A tight consoling hug is in order!... And I don't even care, that she's ruining my shirts with her tears!... But I do wish, she would stop... I think, something's wrong with my heart after all. The more she cries, the more it hurts... Is there a connection?... Is it this love thing too? Now I feel _physical_ pain, just because she's unhappy?!... Oh, where will this end?!

"Please stop crying."

"I try... It's just... It seems that really _nothing_ is working in our favor tonight. And now I can't see _anything_ anymore. Sheldon, you really have to lead me now."

"I will. I promise, I'll take good care of you."

"I know."

She dries her cute face with the sleeve of my jacket, and I don't even care about that either. All I want is for her to feel better.

"Let's go, Sheldon."

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading. :)<strong>

**Another long chapter. Sorry. And also about the short reappearance of freaking out Sheldon. But I just don't believe, he wouldn't flip out at least a little bit about everything that happened. Right? **


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